# Greetings. My name is Crandall Spondular **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730 "2007-12-04T00:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2007, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/81 "2007-12-21T21:55:51Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Thanks. Just to bring this one to a close - I’ve had no emails from any of this group of scam addresses for several days now - despite sending a few innocent-sounding requests their way - so I think they must have realised I’m messing about. Oh well… I’ll pick another one to bait next week. [/QUOTE] Sniff, sniff…I’m going to miss Mr. Spondular. (About 20 minutes ago, I was on the way home from the grocery store with my son, who asked, “Mom, do you know who invented the spork?” I replied, “Why, Crandall Spondular, of course!”) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/82 "2008-01-10T15:10:10Z")
Well, here’s a turn-up for the books. I just checked my Yahoo email and there’s a message right at the top titled ‘Urgent Mr Crandall Spondular’ But it’s not from any of the addresses relating to the previous baiting session, and it makes no mention of Sandra Dickson. Here’s the text: > [@](#): > > FOREIGN TRANSFER DEPARTMENT. > SNS Bank > London Branch Office. > 2 Triton Square Regent’s Place > London NW1 3AN GBR. > www.snsbank.nl > > Tel: [snipped] > > Attention: Mr Crandall Spondular > > REMITTANCE ADVICE: US$500,000.00 (Five hundred thousand USD Only)From: DEBT SETTLEMENT ACCOUNT. > > We have received instruction from Mr.Dikembe Mutombo of United States, to effect the transfer of $500,000usd into your nominated bank account before the forth. > > The Bank Management requires the below information as soon as possible. > > (1) Your Full Name: > (2) Contact Address: > (3) Telephone/Mobile and Fax Numbers: > (4) Occupation: > (5) Company Name: > (6) Age/Marital Status: > (7) Account Details: > (8) A copy of your identity(Drivers License or international passport): > > It is a rule and a regulation in the British Banks that every Foreign Transfer above 200,000 dollars must obtain British Tax CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE, before a successful Transfer. > > This is done to ensure the Monitoring of Anti-Terrorist and Money Laundry within the British Government. > > FURTHER EXPLAINATION. > > THE BRITISH TAX CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE will be obtained on your behalf by the Bank, from the British Drug Law Enforcement Agency (BDLEA) under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. > > Note that it is the duty of the bank to obtain this document in your names and to summit the copies with the Mother Bank, Which is the Bank of England that Governs all the banks in the UK, to enable us get a legal Authorisation transfer Oder before we (SNS BANK) can make a swift transfer into your account without you (Our Client)having any problems with the British Government. > > We are at your service and it is our duty to protect your interest and render a quality service in your favour. > > You are to pay for the cost of obtaining the Clearance Certificate for the completion of your transfer which will cost you the total sum of $2500 dollars only. > > The mode of payment is listed below in this mail. > > Please note that the fees can not be deducted from a DEBT SETTLEMENT ACCOUNT because the Beneficiary right has not been fully Transferred to you. > > The Central Bank which is the Mother Bank of England has not approved your Transfer and the only way for the Bank Of England to Approve your Transfer, is for us to Take your Identity and your names and all your details to the British Drug law enforcement Agency which is under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to get the British Tax Clearance Certificate after we have paid the fees of $2500 dollars. > > As soon as we make the payment to the (BDLEA),they will issue us the Certificate in 24 hours and we will fax the copy to the Mother Bank for Approval and at that point, you will now be approved and the beneficiary Right will now be fully Transferred to you. > > After which, you will now have the LEGAL control over the account and we will be subject to any of your instructions concerning the account without any Hindrance. > Fell Free to call me on this number [snipped] > > * * * > > ## IMPORTANT ISSUE AND PAYMENT INFORMATION > > As i have stated in the above mail, there is a need for you to pay the sum of $2500 dollars only which can not be deducted from the Said amount simply because the beneficiary right has not been Transferred to your name. > > The $2500 dollars is a fee that is very important; it will be used for all legal fees concerning the transfer. > > I am in a better position to advise and give you directives as a banker with over 17 years of experience. > > Below is the information for the payment of $2500 dollars. > > You will send it through our Account Officer via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer. > > This is the fastest way to receive little amount of money from our Customers in Africa because bank to Bank transfers from Africa take up to 14 days before it will get to us. > > Name: TONY CHARLE. > Address: 2 TRITON SQUARE REGENT’S PLACE > LONDON NW1 3AN GBR United Kingdom. > > On the receipt of the above requirements the Bank will make a wire transfer into your nominated account within 48 hours. > > Looking forward to hearing from you. > > Yours Truly, > For: SNS BANK. > Mr.Jackson Joseph. > International Operations. > > A Member: SNS INTERNATIONAL GROUP. > > We wish to use this medium to apologize for any inconveniences that you may have encountered with our official email address; this is due to a resent upgrade by our webmaster. > > NB: This message is intended solely for the addressed and if you have received this message in error, you are to destroy immediately and any copy, translation or republication of this message is strongly prohibited and offenders will be severely dealt with by the applying laws in force at any point in time. You have been warned. Weird. Could it just be some doper is playing games with me? Otherwise, could it be part of the same scam? If it’s a new one, I’m wondering how they got the name (given that I thought it became pretty obvious I was baiting them before). Also, it seems to be in a bit of an advanced state (already asking for fees) for a fresh scam. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/83 "2008-01-10T16:21:25Z")
Dude, it’s from _Dikembe Mutumbo_. That’s an actual semi-famous person in the US. It’s gotta be real!!! ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/84 "2008-01-10T18:03:00Z")
It sounds like your spammer, either out of a sense of homor or because he was bearing a grudge, gave your info to his colleague at the next PC. " I tell you, _mon brave_, this Crandall guy is ripe for the picking. But I’m leaving him to you, cos we’re practically family. Speaking of which, how _is_ Rosa Mwemba? Did she say anything about our date last week?" ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/85 "2008-01-10T18:46:44Z")
I agree that it is probably someone familiar with the previous emails. This phrase is the key: “As i have stated in the above mail, there is a need for you to pay the sum of $2500 dollars only which can not be deducted from the Said amount simply because the beneficiary right has not been Transferred to your name.” They are trying, in the first email, to squash a question they know you have asked another. So it may be the same guy trying you out again just in case you really are a sucker. Or like Maastricht says, he gave your address out to another. Maybe you could play this guy up by talking about how down you are over being dumped by a woman named Sandra. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/86 "2008-01-10T19:02:37Z")
Don’t these things usually come with a great story as to why the vast sums of money are being transferred to your name? And isn’t Mutombo from the Congo, not from the US? I don’t know Mr. Spondular… this one just doesn’t seem like a genuine offer to give you vast heaps of cash in exchange for a modest up-front payment. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/87 "2008-01-11T09:02:48Z")
I emailed back with: > [@](#): > > Hi there > > Is this in connection with Mrs Dickson’s inheritance? I already paid some fees on that, then I heard nothing - I thought maybe something had gone wrong. > > Please advise. > Regards > Crandall Spondular And got another reply that was more or less a copy/paste of the first email - the first bit was different - it said: > [@](#): > > …Attention: Mr Crandall Spondular > > REMITTANCE ADVICE: US$500,000.00 (Five hundred thousand USD Only)From: DEBT SETTLEMENT ACCOUNT. > > As you can see to this matter and l will also asure you that as soon the document is submit to the British Authority your fund will be wire to you without any futher delay. > > On your next mail send us your banking detail and the western union information for the pick up. > > The Bank Management requires the below information as soon as possible… Which didn’t really answer my important question about Sandra, so I sent exactly the same reply again: > [@](#): > > Hi there > > Is this in connection with Mrs Dickson’s inheritance? I already paid some fees on that, then I heard nothing - I thought maybe something had gone wrong. > > Please advise. > Regards > Crandall Spondular And I see I have new mail this morning, which helpfully advises me: > [@](#): > > MY FRIEND NOTHING GO WRONG OK OK Tarzan, let’s play… ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/88 "2008-01-11T11:39:41Z")
“My friend nothing go wrong ok”… :: shakes head :: These scams are so incredibel (ha!) _crude_. I gotta wonder, how dumb are the scammers behind it? Are they all ten years old? Scamming has nothing to do with education, and all the more with street smarts, which I presume even these scammers _do_ posess and take pride in. Then why so crude? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/89 "2008-01-11T12:04:22Z")
I sent him a quick promise that I’d pay by Western Union today (have to forge one of those **S** pecial **H** igh **I** mportance **T** ransfer receipts again later…) He replied with yet another copy/paste of the same email, with only this little bit of difference from the others: > [@](#): > > …The British Authority will approval the document because l just inform them and before the banking closing hour your fund will be wire to you without any futher delay only if you fast to send the money. > > On your next mail send us your banking detail and the western union information for the pick up and make the payment through this name… He’s really pushing it, isn’t he? I think he needs taking down a peg or two. Anyway, I thought I’d try this: > [@](#): > > Hi Again. > > I’m just a little bit confused - is SNS Bank a subsidiary of Abbey National? I notice the address is the same. > > Thanks > Regards > Crandall Spondular. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/90 "2008-01-11T12:15:14Z")
Is Dikembe Mutumbo still wandering around raising money for Africa? If so perhaps “he” could “help” with the funding for the “tax clearance certificate” (does such a thing even exist in the UK? And even so, wouldn’t the recipient be required to obtain it himself?). If not, perhaps the friendly foreign banker “underestimates” Mr. Mutumbo’s accessability in the states and your innumerable personal contacts here as well. Just offering a couple of angles, good luck. -Nate ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/91 "2008-01-11T12:16:18Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Finally got around to creating a fake passport; [here](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/passport.jpg) it is. [/QUOTE] That, my friend, is totally awesome!!!111!!! If I created a fake passport, I would use a leap day as my birthday or maybe January 32. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/92 "2008-01-11T12:21:01Z")
[QUOTE=nd\_n8] Is Dikembe Mutumbo still wandering around raising money for Africa? If so perhaps “he” could “help” with the funding for the “tax clearance certificate” (does such a thing even exist in the UK? And even so, wouldn’t the recipient be required to obtain it himself?). If not, perhaps the friendly foreign banker “underestimates” Mr. Mutumbo’s accessability in the states and your innumerable personal contacts here as well. Just offering a couple of angles, good luck. -Nate [/QUOTE] I tried this on the first round and they slapped it down pretty firmly. I notice this time they clumsily and repeatedly stated that I have to pay the $2500. Fortunately for me though, I’m a semi-professional wrestler called The Spork. That sort of cash is pocket money to me. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/93 "2008-01-11T12:31:40Z")
Oh yeah, I had forgotten about “The Spork”. That part kills me, esp. the “I’ve been Sporked” pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/94 "2008-01-11T14:39:06Z")
You should make up a “Tax Clearance Certificate” and copy it once or twice, and then send it to him. Then include a form from “British Drug law enforcement Agency which is under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs” asking him for his information, and then include one of those ever so tasteful warnings that the information must be sworn to, and notarized, and will be included in the “International Anti-terrorism Police Information Database.” Go nuts on the information asked for. Make it a two pager! Tris ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/95 "2008-01-11T15:04:29Z")
This guy is a real buffoon. I just got this email: > [@](#): > > MY FRIEND WHAT ADDRESS ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT AND WHAT ABBEY NATIONAL OR ARE YOU SERIOUS AT ALL? So I replied > [@](#): > > Sorry for any confusion. Yes, of course I’m serious (why do you even need to ask this - it seems very unprofessional). > The address for Abbey National is 2 Triton square, Regent’s Place, London - I just wondered if your bank is a subsidiary of Abbey, as I hear they’ve got a reputation as one of the top UK banks. I mean, he’s just about at the point now where he’s saying “look, don’t you _want_ to be scammed?” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/96 "2008-01-11T15:10:55Z")
Maybe he’s just testing you to see if you really are who you claim to be. If he’s satisfied, maybe “Ms. Dickson” will make a return visit. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/97 "2008-01-11T15:23:44Z")
[QUOTE=Maastricht] “My friend nothing go wrong ok”… :: shakes head :: These scams are so incredibel (ha!) _crude_. I gotta wonder, how dumb are the scammers behind it? Are they all ten years old? Scamming has nothing to do with education, and all the more with street smarts, which I presume even these scammers _do_ posess and take pride in. Then why so crude? [/QUOTE] No, I don’t think they’re _that_ uneducated, but I do think they are not English speakers, and therefore are using an online translator to compose the emails. Have you seen some of the awkward phrases those things produce? ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/98 "2008-01-11T16:50:08Z")
[QUOTE=anyrose] No, I don’t think they’re _that_ uneducated, but I do think they are not English speakers, and therefore are using an online translator to compose the emails. Have you seen some of the awkward phrases those things produce? [/QUOTE] I don’t think it’s quite awkward enough to be produced by an online translator. They’re just not native English speakers, and my guess would be that in Nigeria, as in India, some slightly Victorian-sounding phrases are still in current use, which makes them sound slightly stilted to modern ears, or eyes. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/99 "2008-01-11T18:52:34Z")
oh this is good (links disabled) > [@](#): > > Bank Online with Confidence > > Dear Royal Bank of Canada member, > We understand how important information security and privacy are for you. We regret to inform you that we have some problems with our database, some parts from our database were deleted and unfortunately your information about your security questions was lost. Please update the section regarding your security questions for added protection. > > To update your security questions section please follow this steps: > > Sign in your account. > Complete correct the questions and answers fields. > To update **Click Here** > Additional details are outlined in the \*\*Electronic Access Agreement \*\* The graphics look genuine (I’ve never seen RBC’s website so I am guessing) with a logo and company colors, but I moused over the links, they are not RBC websites. They are numeric ISPs, followed by a seemingly random collection of letters. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/100 "2008-01-11T21:48:57Z")
Dearie me, this one’s getting a bit shirty with me. I just got this: > [@](#): > > ALL WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS NOT TRUTH YOU CAN COME TO LONDON BY YOURSELF. TO COME AND SEE [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=6)