# Greetings. My name is Crandall Spondular **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730 "2007-12-04T00:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/141 "2008-01-16T09:12:53Z")
Heh… As it turns out, FedEx tracking info is quite easy to [mock up](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/Photo_011608_002.jpg) (I just entered a random parcel number I found on the web, then saved the web page and edited the pertinent details - including the tracking number, which is just a false one now - in Notepad) So who is this mysterious S Trent that signed for Dr Brunton’s envelope? Hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2008, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/142 "2008-01-16T12:04:09Z")
OK, here it goes… > [@](#): > > Who is this? I’d better not have been passed back to Joseph Jackson. I wish to deal only with Dr James Brunton. > > Honestly, I’m fast losing patience with what appears to be institutional incompetence at your bank. > Here is a picture of the FedEx tracking info for the envelope containing the Western Union receipt. As you can see, it clearly shows the package being delivered to Camden, London at 09:28 - signed for by S Trent. > > Now, I suggest that you walk over to the desk of S Trent, and ask him (or her) what happened to the FedEx envelope signed for yesterday morning. > Hopefully this will resolve the matter and we can proceed with the important and long overdue business of the transfer. > > Please do not insult me with any more complaints or accusations about ‘not being serious’. If you can’t deal with this simple matter now, I’ll just contact Mrs Dickson’s barrister and ask him to arrange the transfer through a different bank. > > Regards > Crandall Spondular. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/143 "2008-01-17T10:45:13Z")
I didn’t hear back from him for a while after that and I thought that would be the end of it. I just sent a quick message later yesterday, asking: > [@](#): > > Have you located the envelope now? There was another long delay and I had almost give up hope, but I’ve just received this reply: > [@](#): > > NOTHING RECEIVE YET WE CALL THE FEDEX NOTHING I TOLD GO BACK TO THE WESTERN UNION FOR THEM TO GIVE YOU THE INFORMATION AGAIN THAT IS THE ONLY WAY OUT NOW So apparently he was stupid (or maybe just hopeful) enough to fall for my fake FedEx tracking page. Hmmm… what next… Maybe this: > [@](#): > > Good morning Dr Brunton > > Thanks for your swift reply. Did your staff member (S Trent) not have any recollection of signing for the envelope then? > > Anyway, I’ll go back to Western Union and request a copy of the receipt. As I said before though, they expect me to provide proof of identity of both sender (me) and recipient (Mr Tony Charle) - I don’t know why they do this, but they were quite insistent when I tried before and flatly refused to help unless I could provide the necessary documentation. > > So in order to resolve this now, please could you send a copy of some kind of identification document for Mr Charle? - passport or driving license should be OK. As soon as I receive this, I’ll get straight down to Western Union and get the duplicate receipt. (which I will scan and send by email this time) > > Many thanks > Crandall. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/144 "2008-01-17T11:37:36Z")
Awww… He’s trying _so_ hard. > [@](#): > > SIR, TO MAKE EVERYTHING SHOOT TELL THE WESTERUNION THAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE NAME AND SEND IT ON MY NAME ( JAMES BRUNTON) The passport he sent me is the [same one](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/passport%20jj.jpg) I linked upthread . But of course that’s no use to Crandall in dealing with Western Union’s (entirely fictional) red tape: > [@](#): > > Dear Mr Brunton > > Many thanks for the copy of your passport. Unfortunately, this won’t help in this situation. Perhaps I didn’t explain this well enough in my last email. > > In order to provide a copy receipt of an existing transfer, Western Union requires the applicant to provide ID for the sender (in this case, me) and recipient (in this case, Mr Tony Charle). I believe they do this to prevent just anybody walking in and intercepting a transfer. I can’t use your passport to recall the transaction, as you’re not the original recipient. > (I could send a new transfer to you, but that would leave me $2500 out of pocket, because the transfer to Tony Charle is still out there) > > So unfortunately, I’m going to need a copy of Tony Charle’s photo ID - there’s no way to proceed without it. > > Many thanks in advance > Kind Regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/145 "2008-01-17T12:14:31Z")
> [@](#): > > l CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU IS YOU THAT SEND THE MONEY NOT MR TONY IS YOUR ID THAT YOU USE TO SEND THE MONEY THERE WILL ASK YOU NOT RECEIVED ID IS ONLY YOUR ID THEY NEED AT THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE THAT YOU SEND THE MONEY I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT WE TOO HAVE WESTERN UNION IN OUR BANK HERE SO GO TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE THAT YOU SEND THE MONEY TELL THEM THAT THERE SHOULD GIVE YOU THE INFORMATION BECAUSE YOU HAVE LOOSE THE RECIEPT THERE GAVE TO YOU BEFORE IS EASY Sorry, chum, but I’m digging in my heels over this one. > [@](#): > > Dear Mr Brunton. > > Maybe they do things differently in your country - as I said, I’ve already tried requesting a copy receipt - it’s what I did on Tuesday. > Because I don’t know the serial number of the transfer, and I don’t have proof of purchase (I paid cash), they will only issue a copy receipt if I pay a $30 ‘lost money order’ fee and provide ID documentation for both sender AND recipient. I’m happy to pay the $30 fee to Western Union out of my own pocket, but you’ll have to help me by providing the ID for Tony Charle. There isn’t any other way to proceed. > > Regards > Crandall I suspect ‘Tony Charle’ is the scammer’s real name. I reckon if I pressed him a bit more, I could get him to send me some money, but I’m not brave enough to try. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/146 "2008-01-17T14:11:57Z")
My day just doesn’t go well anymore, unless I go through my new routine. Open office, Make coffee. Boot up computer. Pour cup of coffee. Check on the latest exploits of Crandall! **Mangetout** , please, please, please find a way to keep going with this guy for a few more weeks! I now get strung out if I don’t get my daily fix, or if I may be allowed to paraphrase Mr. Brunton: GIVE THE LAFF ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE MUST THE UPDATE THERE AND GAVE TO ME BEFORE IS EASY. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/147 "2008-01-17T14:14:45Z")
Haha! > [@](#): > > THIS IS MR TONY PASSPORT THAT YOU ASK FOR. And [here](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/MrTony.jpg) it is. Isn’t it a beauty? I love the way the passport office have used a different font for the name, just to make it stand out, and the way they don’t ruin the photo by putting it _underneath_ the security markings. Top marks! I’ve fired off a quick reply, just saying: > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > Thanks very much for the copy of Tony’s ID - I’ll get down to the Western Union office right away and retrieve a copy of the receipt, which I will send you by email this time. > > Thanks again for your help, patience and understanding in this matter. I’m sure we’ll have it all sorted out soon. > > Regards > Crandall I have a cunning plan for the next step. I think you’ll like it, but more on that when I’ve got it ready. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/148 "2008-01-17T14:28:33Z")
[QUOTE=ChiefScott] **Mangetout** , please, please, please find a way to keep going with this guy for a few more weeks! [/QUOTE] Sadly, I think it’s all going to come to an end soon - on account of the next step I have planned. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/149 "2008-01-17T15:27:19Z")
That is the most obviously faked document I have ever seen. Have they no pride in their trade? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/150 "2008-01-17T15:38:15Z")
I’ve seen worse than that - the last scammer I dealt with sent me one where the text was just in flat coloured boxes pasted straight on top of the image. Anyway, on with the show… He sent me: > [@](#): > > ALRIGHT SIR WAITING FOR THE INFORMATION FROM THE WESTERN UNION FROM YOU So I replied: > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > I’m happy to report that Western Union provided me with copy transfer document. I attach a picture of the photocopied receipt. Sorry about the poor quality - my scanner is broken and I had to take the picture on my cellphone. > (In case you can’t read it, the MTCN is 3811732502). > > The agent was very friendly and helpful this time, and she did say that because this has been processed as a ‘lost money order’ (for which I paid the $30 fee), it will no longer be trackable online on the Western Union website, but is still completely valid for cashing when presented in person. > > Please let me know when you have received the funds and are ready to proceed with the tax clearance paperwork. > > Kind regards > Crandall Spondular The picture of the Western Union document looks like [this](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/Photo_011708_003.jpg) - the MTCN is just a random string of numbers - which is shy I had to make the excuse that it can’t be tracked online now that it’s been reported as a lost document - the idea being that he’ll have to suffer the humiliation of trying to cash a fake payment in person. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/151 "2008-01-17T17:04:20Z")
Bravo, old bean! A truly splendid job of stringing along this hooligan. Your work is so corkingly clever that only speaking like a member of a British gentleman’s club can do it justice. “I got sporked” indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/152 "2008-01-17T22:32:24Z")
Thanks. I think this one has run longer than the thing with Austin Wemba now. Wondering what I can tell him if he bothers to come back to me after failing to cash the WU payment. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/153 "2008-01-18T11:09:55Z")
> [@](#): > > WHY YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS I SEE IT THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS YOU SAID I SHOULD NOT SAID THAT TO YOU. He sounds a bit dejected. I’ll try to cheer him up with a bit of optimism… > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > I don’t understand what you mean - is there a problem again? What’s wrong now? > > Please let me know - I’m sure whatever it is, it can be easily resolved. > > Regards > Crandall (Actually, I just want to know if he went and made an ass of himself trying to cash the money order, or if he’s spotted that it’s a fake) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/154 "2008-01-18T11:34:25Z")
> [@](#): > > MY FRIEND YOU DID NOT SEND ANY MONEY DON’T LIE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS ? Oh, the tone of injury! Why do you think I’m doing it, you fraudulent buffoon? > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > I still don’t understand what you mean. Please just tell me what happened and I’ll try to resolve it. How can I help you unless you tell me what is the problem? > > Regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/155 "2008-01-18T11:47:04Z")
This is getting better: > [@](#): > > YOU KNOW YOU SAID YOU SEND $2500 IS NOT IN WU PROGRAM YOU SEND US YOUR PHONE NUMBER. I think that means he’s still actually on the hook… > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton. > > Don’t worry - I think I understand what’s happening. > > As I explained in my previous email, when I requested the copy receipt, Western Union had to process it as a ‘lost money order’ enquiry. > When they do this, the transaction is removed from their online tracking system (which will be why you can’t trace it on their system). > > The agent at the Western Union office told me this would happen and I mentioned it to you in the email yesterday when I sent the copy of the document. The transaction is still valid though, so there will not be a problem when you cash it at the bank. > > Regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/156 "2008-01-18T12:20:26Z")
> [@](#): > > I SAID NOTHING THERE GO BACK TO THE WESTERN UNION TO CHACK THE PROBLEM Tee hee… > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > I’m really sorry about all the problems this seems to be causing. I can go back to Western Union this morning and get them to check the transaction. > > It will probably help if I know a few more details about the problem at your end - Please can you tell me exactly what the bank or Western Union office said when you presented the transfer document? > > Kind regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/157 "2008-01-18T12:23:48Z")
I like the way his English is getting more and more incoherent as he gets enraged. I can just see him sitting in this little internet cafe, his blood pressure rising with each email, and it makes me happy. Ahh, to scam a scammer. 'Tis a fine art, and I doff my hat to a true master. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/158 "2008-01-18T12:44:41Z")
I can’t really believe he’s still trying. Surely it must be obvious to him, and to the other scammers sitting next to him, that I’m messing him about. ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/159 "2008-01-18T13:52:14Z")
No greed like the greed of an idiot, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/160 "2008-01-18T14:05:59Z")
A-greed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=9)