# Greetings. My name is Crandall Spondular **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730 "2007-12-04T00:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/161 "2008-01-18T15:21:13Z")
> [@](#): > > THE INFORMATION IS NOT IN SYSTEM AT ALL OF WU So, it sounds like he did trot down to a Western Union office and wave a forged transfer note at them. > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > Apologies once again for the invonvenience. I’ll go to the Western Union agent right now and find out what happened. > > Please leave this matter in my hands and I inform you as soon as there is any news. > > Kind regards > Crandall I think my objective now will be to see how many times I can get him to try presenting the same document to Western Union. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/162 "2008-01-18T16:11:12Z")
> [@](#): > > ALRIGHT WAITING Yeah, do that. How can this guy possibly entertain any hope that I really think he’s the governor of a bank in London? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/163 "2008-01-18T18:57:41Z")
Every time **Mangetout** gets an inchoate ranting e-mail back from a frustrated fraud, an angel gets his wings. We are not fit to inhale your farts. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/164 "2008-01-18T20:39:56Z")
OK, so, you’re contacted by somebody who apparently is either successful enough or interested enough in running scams that they spend effort and time on it to spam you and start chatting you up. Am I the only one here getting nervous? That is, at some point they are going to try their tricks. It does look a little bit like a sport, or a puzzle, to see this coming and dodge it. I can see where that could be fun. But, how sure are you that you’ll outsmart them? For example, what if their plan is to look like an old and uninspired scam when, in fact, they are going to pull something new and different? A sort of a metascam, you might say. Just saying, this could be an expensive game. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/165 "2008-01-18T21:57:14Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] OK, so, you’re contacted by somebody who apparently is either successful enough or interested enough in running scams that they spend effort and time on it to spam you and start chatting you up. Am I the only one here getting nervous? That is, at some point they are going to try their tricks. It does look a little bit like a sport, or a puzzle, to see this coming and dodge it. I can see where that could be fun. But, how sure are you that you’ll outsmart them? For example, what if their plan is to look like an old and uninspired scam when, in fact, they are going to pull something new and different? A sort of a metascam, you might say. Just saying, this could be an expensive game. [/QUOTE] How? Unless Crandall Spondular actually sends Mssr. Charle real honest-to-god money, how can it possibly be an expensive game? The only way these scams work is if you give the scammer money or information allowing him access to your bank account. There is a possible threat, and that’s that Mangetout will piss off the scammer enough that the scammer will track him down and do something bad to him. But Mr. Spondular is a professional wrestler, so surely he can take care of himself. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/166 "2008-01-19T01:09:14Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] OK, so, you’re contacted by somebody who apparently is either successful enough or interested enough in running scams that they spend effort and time on it to spam you and start chatting you up. Am I the only one here getting nervous? That is, at some point they are going to try their tricks. It does look a little bit like a sport, or a puzzle, to see this coming and dodge it. I can see where that could be fun. But, how sure are you that you’ll outsmart them? For example, what if their plan is to look like an old and uninspired scam when, in fact, they are going to pull something new and different? A sort of a metascam, you might say. Just saying, this could be an expensive game. [/QUOTE] I’ll have to admit, I’m just a little wary of this one that he hasn’t merely thrown up his hands and stormed off, but I think that’s more down to stupidity than malicious tenacity. But I’ve not been specifically targeted for this one - 419 scams like this are absolutely rife on the internet - I get dozens of emails every week trying to hook me into some scam or other (last couple of weeks, it was mostly fake notifications that I’d won the Euro Millions lottery) ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/167 "2008-01-19T05:36:01Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I get dozens of emails every week trying to hook me into some scam or other (last couple of weeks, it was mostly fake notifications that I’d won the Euro Millions lottery) [/QUOTE] Me too. Any tips on how to have fun with those? ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_Jackal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Clockwork\_Jackal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_Jackal)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/168 "2008-01-19T06:33:40Z")
This is the funniest thread I’ve read in a long time! Do you mind if I use the name “Crandall Spondular” as the name of my protagonist in my next short story? I’m writing a cyberpunk type work next and I’m trying to emulate Philip K. Dick’s style. (Which is very difficult, by the way.) I’m really trying to make it as fucked up as I can, while still being readable. (Also difficult.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/169 "2008-01-20T02:26:03Z")
[QUOTE=Oslo Ostragoth] Me too. Any tips on how to have fun with those? [/QUOTE] I think a lot of these scammers are from Europe and they’re a bit more canny than the African mob. I’ve not yet succeeded in an email conversation lasting more than about two or three rounds with them. What I do now with the lottery scammers is to reply “Wow, that’s amazing! How do I collect the money?” (Ignoring that the instructions for doing this are included at length in the email). About half don’t bother replying to me - the others invariably send back a brusque demand for personal and banking details. I send them a nice email saying “all the info you need is in the attached document”. the document is actually a PDF containing nothing but a full page colour photo of a naked, hairy fat bloke’s arse - I hope they view it in a public internet cafe when someone is looking over their shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/170 "2008-01-20T02:27:28Z")
[QUOTE=Clockwork Jackal] This is the funniest thread I’ve read in a long time! Do you mind if I use the name “Crandall Spondular” as the name of my protagonist in my next short story? I’m writing a cyberpunk type work next and I’m trying to emulate Philip K. Dick’s style. (Which is very difficult, by the way.) I’m really trying to make it as fucked up as I can, while still being readable. (Also difficult.) 🙂 [/QUOTE] Please be my guest. I’m honoured. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/171 "2008-01-20T02:41:07Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I think a lot of these scammers are from Europe and they’re a bit more canny than the African mob. I’ve not yet succeeded in an email conversation lasting more than about two or three rounds with them. What I do now with the lottery scammers is to reply “Wow, that’s amazing! How do I collect the money?” (Ignoring that the instructions for doing this are included at length in the email). About half don’t bother replying to me - the others invariably send back a brusque demand for personal and banking details. I send them a nice email saying “all the info you need is in the attached document”. \*\* the document is actually a PDF containing nothing but a full page colour photo of a naked, hairy fat bloke’s arse \*\*- I hope they view it in a public internet cafe when someone is looking over their shoulder. [/QUOTE] (Bolding mine) You are my hero, **Mangetout**! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/172 "2008-01-20T02:42:09Z")
I’d like to see a thread entitled **“Ask Crandall Spondular for Money Here!”** , wherein dopers could post their neediest and most grammatically incorrect scams. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/173 "2008-01-20T22:00:02Z")
Well, it’s Sunday evening here, but I thought I’d set him going for tomorrow morning: > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > Sorry for the delay in replying - I’ve had a rather busy weekend - I did manage to get to the Western Union agent on Friday though, and I have some positive news for you. > > It was interesting - and you’re quite right that the transaction wasn’t in the system - the agent had a difficult time tracing it - and it was only because she remembered issuing the copy receipt that she had the perseverance to keep looking. > > Anyway, what had happened is that the transaction had not been fully released back on their system after the ‘lost money order’ report was filed and this is what caused it to be rejected as unknown at your end. > > I have the assurance of the Western Union agent at my local office that the transfer is now cleared and available for you to collect - it still isn’t showing on the online tracking system (I just checked this myself), but the agent showed me on her screen (at the office) that it is flagged with ‘available’ status. > > Please would you try presenting the transfer document again - I feel sure it will go through this time. > > I apologise most sincerely for all the trouble this has caused you - but I trust we can press ahead once you’ve received the transfer funds. > > Kind regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/174 "2008-01-21T08:24:15Z")
> [@](#): > > WHY ARE STILL ON THIS AGAIN I SAID NOTHING THERE I JUST CHECK THE WESTERN UNION AGAIN NOTHING Well, I’m just enormously impressed that the Western Union offices there in London (where the scammer purports to be) are open in the middle of Sunday night. I’ll wait until later before replying as it’s sometime after 3 in the morning in New Jersey (where I want the scammer to think I am). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/175 "2008-01-21T11:06:25Z")
Being an early riser, Crandall just sent this, and before breakfast: > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > Thanks for your reply, but I think there must be some kind of misunderstanding, > > The Western Union agent said the transaction is marked ‘available’ on their system, but because the transaction was queried as a ‘lost money order’, it is not trackable on the Western Union website. > > I repeat, the transaction WILL NOT BE VISIBLE on the Western Union Web Page - but it is available for collection in person at a Western Union office or a bank. > > Please would you try again to receive the payment IN PERSON at a bank or Western Union office. > > I mention this because your previous email was sent at what must have been the middle of Sunday night there in London. It’s no use looking on the Western Union website for the transaction - it won’t be visible because of the queried status. > > Please let me know when you’ve received the funds. > > Regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/176 "2008-01-21T11:59:56Z")
Have you asked Mrs. Sandra Dickson to help you straighten out this mess? I’m sure she’d be upset to know how her agents are mishandling the transaction. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/177 "2008-01-21T12:15:16Z")
I did consider that, but I think this guy is actually a different scammer who is trying to pick up the threads from where the previous guy(s) gave up - when they realised I was playing them - I reckon this one must have just found my email address and the name ‘Crandall Spondular’ written down or printed out somewhere, or maybe the previous lads left the machine logged in or something. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/178 "2008-01-21T13:51:17Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I did consider that, but I think this guy is actually a different scammer who is trying to pick up the threads from where the previous guy(s) gave up - when they realised I was playing them - I reckon this one must have just found my email address and the name ‘Crandall Spondular’ written down or printed out somewhere, or maybe the previous lads left the machine logged in or something. [/QUOTE] So you mean that there`s some kind of sub-prime scam market out there? :dubious: Fascinating. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/179 "2008-01-21T14:05:41Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] the document is actually a PDF containing nothing but a full page colour photo of a naked, hairy fat bloke’s arse - I hope they view it in a public internet cafe when someone is looking over their shoulder. [/QUOTE] You should change it to a nice big photo of a **lemon party**. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/180 "2008-01-21T21:08:26Z")
Well, he was taking a long time to reply, so I sent off a quick reminder: > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton. > > Did the transfer work this time? Please let me know what to do next. > > Regards > Crandall Oddly, the transfer STILL doesn’t seem to be working - I can’t understand this, as I forged the document most carefully… > [@](#): > > NOTHING YET SEE ON THE WEB AND ON THE WU SYSTEM TELL THEM WHAT IS THE MATTER. But I’m still not sure he’s actually calling at the Western Union office himself… > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > I’m really confused about this and I don’t know why it isn’t working. Did you actually go to the Western Union office to collect the transfer yourself? > > What do you think the problem could be? > > Regards > Crandall [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=10)