# Greetings... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400 "2003-12-22T02:16:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Abdominal\_Snowman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Abdominal\_Snowman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abdominal_Snowman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/1 "2003-12-22T02:16:22Z")
Disclaimer: If I’ve missed some unwritten rule (or even a written one) in which it is stated that “Hey, I’m new here”-type threads are unwelcome, please, by all means, have me hauled out back and shot. So, to summarize: I’m new here. I was introduced to this site about an hour ago, after clicking on a link which led to an incredible story involving an evil blimp. It was, in a word, splendiferous. I spent the intermittent time reading around the site, learning nothing of value, which is exactly what I require in a message board. I was particularly struck by the various caustic voices, taunting, flaming and just generally pillaging their way through the pages. I thought to myself “Abdominal Snowman (names have been changed to protect the innocent), you might just like it here.” And so, I registered, posted several inconsequential comments, and have now taken it upon myself to introduce myself. Myself, as it stands, is a 23-year old male from the snowy hinterlands of Canada (not, as my biography would have you believe, a port-o-john. I have no idea how that got there). I look forward to adding this to a growing list of identities I have accumulated on the Internet, many of them related to cars, jazz, and car-jazz. Remember, it’s only a disorder if you get caught. That said, thanks to all of you who’ve put the time into this; there’s really nothing like a good message board, and this is one of the better ones I’ve had the good fortune to stumble upon. Truly, AS ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/2 "2003-12-22T05:18:13Z")
Welcome to the SDMB, **Abdominal Snowman**! Nah, we don’t mind intro threads around here. Good to see you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/3 "2003-12-22T05:25:04Z")
Welcome. Making people laugh early on is good. I’m still a newbie, but I’m thinking you’ll rise in the ranks faster than I. …ah, the blimp story… ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/4 "2003-12-22T05:28:32Z")
Welcome to the boards. Have fun here. ---
**Author:** ![Frankenbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@Frankenbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankenbear)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/5 "2003-12-22T05:29:21Z")
Welcome, **Abdominal Snowman**. I hope you enjoy it here. Join the [Virtual Christmas Party](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=229145). Clothing is optional and there is plenty of mistletoe to go around. ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/6 "2003-12-22T05:30:41Z")
oh, and check this thread out, real quick…[SDMB in-jokes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=229801) Like 'em, don’t like 'em, it’s good to know why they keep showing up. ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/7 "2003-12-22T05:36:56Z")
Welcome. Enjoy your stay - you might actually find some interesting knowledge in the General Questions forum, I know I have learned things I never would have thought to ask, just by browsing around. I have several links (like, 20) of some of my favourite humourous stories I have found here, let me know if you have interest in them, some of them are almost impossible to find. I’d just post them here, but there are so many it would be kind of redundant. Hope you like it here. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/8 "2003-12-22T06:02:48Z")
Posting from a porta-john, eh? Ah, the wonders of a wireless Internet connection. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Remember the cardinal rule here: Don’t be a jerk. Read the whole thread the first time in, THEN reply (and preview is your friend). Enjoy your stay here. Go to a Dopefest or three. And praise **Cecil**. ---
**Author:** ![Macrophage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/87869e/32.png) [@Macrophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macrophage)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/9 "2003-12-22T06:10:09Z")
Welcome. All hail unca cece. Happy posting from those wonderful things, portopotties. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/10 "2003-12-22T06:12:55Z")
**Abominable** said: (not, as my biography would have you believe, a port-o-john. I have no idea how that got there). Lying from the start, huh? :dubious: Yowie! Bumbles…it’s no wonder you bigfooted folk are so hard to get along with. Yet I try. BTW are ya’ lost or just visitin, I thought only Saskwhat lived up in your neck O’ the woods. [Maybe this’ll help.](http://library.trinity.wa.edu.au/subjects/english/fant/yowie.htm) heh…a Texan calling somebody out on stretching the truth 😃 Oh, I forgot to say Howdy, welcome…& Happy Holidays. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/11 "2003-12-22T06:20:26Z")
Hmmm, can’t seem to get it together today, sorry. [Here](http://web.icq.com/shockwave/0,,4845,00.swf) is a Christmas card for you. (It takes a minute to load) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Abdominal\_Snowman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Abdominal\_Snowman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abdominal_Snowman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/12 "2003-12-22T13:45:47Z")
Good morning to all. It appears there are some things I must clear up, so here goes: t-keela: I believe you have me confused with the Abominable Snowman, a distant cousin from the Himalayas. To find Abdominal Snowmen, you need only visit the nearest snowy country, and find a fridge. Preferably a large one. It is our preferred hunting ground. Elaella: I’d be more than happy to check out the Christmas party. Any large and hairy, yet strangely attractive women there? if you don’t know i won’t tell: If you’ve got links to more stories, gimme gimme gimme! Many thanks! And of course, Merry Non-Denominational Holiday to all! ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/13 "2003-12-22T13:55:34Z")
Ahh…the infamous blimp claims another one. 😉 Welcome to the SDMB **Abdominal Snowman**. May your time here be pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/14 "2003-12-22T14:21:36Z")
Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/15 "2003-12-22T14:33:13Z")
Welcome, my friend. I like your user name! ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/16 "2003-12-22T14:33:18Z")
Welcome oh he of the north. You will soon learn that nothing is too mundane or pointless to be posted. And that some things which are not mundane or pointless at all get posted here. The latter is greatly responsible for making the SDMB a great community. Oh, and I burning your dog with 1920’s style death rays 3)Hi opal! ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/17 "2003-12-22T14:36:50Z")
Oh and I forgot, merry non denominational days to you too. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/18 "2003-12-22T15:14:27Z")
Hi **Abdominal Snowman** sorry about that bodyslam in the chocolate wrestling, welcome welcome ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/19 "2003-12-22T16:40:19Z")
Oh, I’ve gotta find the blimp story now… how did I miss that? It was the “are scalar weapons for real?” that trapped me. That and the time everyone was sticking their wedding rings in their noses (no I am so _not_ making this up it was in threadspotting). Happy mattress-flipping day **Abdominal**. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400/20 "2003-12-22T19:21:01Z")
I’ve got a nice, used 1920’s Style Death Ray for sale, cheap. Can’t surf the Dope without a 1920’s Style Death Ray. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings/220400.md?page=2)