# Grilled cheese sandwich-what the heck am I doing wrong? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 16, 2014, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459 "2014-02-16T03:45:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/61 "2014-02-17T05:04:31Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Super fast cheat method: Toast bread, insert cheese, nuke until cheese is melted. Yeah, I’ve done that before myself, but that’s not quite what I expect or want when I crave a “grilled cheese.” ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/62 "2014-02-17T07:29:32Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > good ole american in plastic wrappers is best! Just remember to take off those plastic wrappers before hand.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/63 "2014-02-17T14:33:21Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > Just remember to take off those plastic wrappers before hand.🙂 There’s plastic wrappers? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/64 "2014-02-17T14:42:39Z")
It’s okay, they’re only one molecule different than cheese. If my random Facebook fearmongering crazies are to be believed, that means they’re exactly the same and so you don’t have to bother unwrapping them anyway. (Actually, I buy the “Deluxe” unwrapped kind, because I like the slightly firmer texture when I’m eating it cold and they melt just as well.) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/65 "2014-02-17T15:19:16Z")
When the revolution comes, the second against the wall will be those who use mayo on a grilled cheese sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/66 "2014-02-17T15:35:31Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > When the revolution comes, the second against the wall will be those who use mayo on a grilled cheese sandwich. If you weren’t told, you really wouldn’t know. It’s like the whole mayo-in-cake trick that way. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/67 "2014-02-17T16:09:38Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > If you weren’t told, you really wouldn’t know. It’s like the whole mayo-in-cake trick that way. What is it with people who think their mission in life is to try to trick people into eating things they don’t like? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/68 "2014-02-17T16:19:34Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > What is it with people who think their mission in life is to try to trick people into eating things they don’t like? If you’ve been successfully “tricked,” that proves that you didn’t not like it, doesn’t it? If the trick didn’t work, then it wasn’t a trick, it was just something you didn’t like. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/69 "2014-02-17T16:29:11Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > What is it with people who think their mission in life is to try to trick people into eating things they don’t like? I don’t know and I wouldn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/70 "2014-02-17T16:37:28Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I don’t know and I wouldn’t know. Seriously, nobody is trying to trick anybody. Talk about spectacularly missing the point. We’re just saying you probably _would_ like it, since there is almost no difference between a grilled cheese made with mayo and one made with butter. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/71 "2014-02-17T16:37:33Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > “American cheese” aka cheese food- is what _real cheese_ eats. Colby Longhorn is the best. I’d only use american cheese for a kid. I did catch the joke, but… Under federal regulations ([Wiki footnote text](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Processed_cheese)): > [@](#): > > Under the U.S. Code of Federal Regulations Title 21 (Food and Drugs), Article 133, Section 169 (Pasteurized process cheese), the allowed usage of the term “American Cheese” for certain types of “Pasteurized process cheese” is detailed. Specifically, in paragraph (e)(2)(ii) of section 133.169, it states In case it is made of cheddar cheese, washed curd cheese, colby cheese, or granular cheese or any mixture of two or more of these, it may be designated “Pasteurized process American cheese”; or when cheddar cheese, washed curd cheese, colby cheese, granular cheese, or any mixture of two or more of these is combined with other varieties of cheese in the cheese ingredient, any of such cheeses or such mixture may be designated as "American cheese."U.S. Food and Drug Administration (April 1, 1999). “Title 21, Article 133”. U.S. Government Printing Office. Retrieved 2007-02-17. So American cheese is real cheese. Only, it’s usually a mixture of cheeses plus an emulsifier. The emulsifier makes it do what it does best, which is to melt without separating. ‘Cheese food’ is what American cheese haters think all American cheese is. Actually, most consumers probably don’t know the difference either. I avoid ‘cheese food’, but processed cheese is perfectly acceptable – indeed, preferred – for some applications. Kraft Deli Deluxe is processed cheese. Kraft Singles are cheese food. A grilled cheese sandwich should be made from American cheese. It can be from pricier stuff from a deli, or mass-produced processed cheese like Kraft Deli Deluxe. In no case should a grilled cheese sandwich be made with ‘cheese food’. (Velveeta, which is technically ‘cheese spread’ is acceptable though, and preferred by many.) Grilled cheese made with cheddar just doesn’t taste right. (Not that I’d turn one down, but they’re not as good as American cheese ones.) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/72 "2014-02-17T16:49:14Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > (Velveeta, which is technically ‘cheese spread’ is acceptable though, and preferred by many.) I’ve never seen a Velveeta that is a cheese spread. Are you thinking of Cheez Whiz? Velveeta is labeled as “Prepared cheese product.” Plus you can get it in “singles” form, just like Kraft singles. There’s nothing spreadable about regular Velveeta unless you melt it. And it seems weird to say Velveeta is acceptable, while Kraft singles are not, as Velveeta seems farther removed from “cheese” than Kraft singles are. Anyhow, I like the deli American cheese or the singles on my grilled cheese. For me, the quintessential American comfort food grilled cheese is Wonder-like bread and a slice or two of Kraft singles. My “grown-up” grilled cheese might use a light rye (preferably with caraway) and a nicer deli-style American process cheese (although I like to use Munster from time to time, and I’ve recently become quite fond of Land O Lakes 4-cheese Italian process cheese.) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/73 "2014-02-17T17:02:12Z")
I dunno, a couple of slices of Oat bread with a slice of pepperjack in the middle is pretty nice. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/74 "2014-02-17T17:04:55Z")
Speaking of Velveeta, one of the sandwiches from my childhood was an open face Velveeta on sandwich bread, toasted under the broiler until the Velveeta just started to get brown spots on it. That and a bowl of Campbell’s tomato soup (made with milk) was the perfect lunch for a chilly winter day. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/75 "2014-02-17T17:10:01Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Seriously, nobody is trying to trick anybody. Talk about spectacularly missing the point. Actually, yes they are: > [@pulykamell](#): > > If you weren’t told, you really wouldn’t know. It’s like the whole mayo-in-cake **trick** that way. > [@](#): > > We’re just saying you probably _would_ like it, since there is almost no difference between a grilled cheese made with mayo and one made with butter. No, I don’t like it. Yes, I’ve tried it, yes there is a difference. And here we have someone who _does_ like it, and _can_ tell the difference, and thinks that it’s _better_. > [@Washoe](#): > > Butter?!? Margarine?!? _Quelle horreur!_ :eek: Mayonnaise, bitches—on both sides of the bread. Which is it? Is it better, or is there no difference? And if you can’t tell the difference, then again, why do some people think it’s so important for mayo haters to eat mayo that it’s o.k. to try to fool them into eating it? ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/76 "2014-02-17T17:35:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Too much margarine. > > I cook my grilled cheese sandwiches at lower heat, so that the cheese melts before the bread toasts. Don’t boil the cheese! That ruins the consistency. You want the cheese to melt just as the bread browns. I use medium-high heat, butter, and a nonstick pan. It’s been probably 30 years since I used margarine, but I don’t remember any troubles with that. Unless it’s hot in your house, keep the butter in a covered butter dish (or in a dish in a cabinet). If I have to pull it out of the microwave, I zap it for about 10 seconds (maybe 5? – it softens very fast). I prefer to spread the butter on the bread to melting it in the pan; seems to work a lot better and more evenly (which doesn’t make sense but it’s what I find.) > [@sparky\_1](#): > > Just don’t go trying to use any highfalutin cheese as the filler; good ole american in plastic wrappers is best! Blech! > [@](#): > > And the parmesan on the outside adds a good crunch and some salt. Great idea! > [@DrDeth](#): > > “American cheese” aka cheese food- is what _real cheese_ eats. Colby Longhorn is the best. I’d only use american cheese for a kid. My sentiments exactly. > [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I did catch the joke, but… Under federal regulations … So American cheese is real cheese. Only, it’s usually a mixture of cheeses plus an emulsifier. The emulsifier makes it do what it does best, which is to melt without separating. > > ‘Cheese food’ is what American cheese haters think all American cheese is. Actually, most consumers probably don’t know the difference either. I avoid ‘cheese food’, but processed cheese is perfectly acceptable – indeed, preferred – for some applications. Kraft Deli Deluxe is processed cheese. Kraft Singles are cheese food. Thanks for the info but still, yuck! It’s far too sweet for a good grilled cheese. The stuff should really be called “processed cheesy food-like substance.” Best is cheddar or Monterey jack or a blend. If you’re lucky enough to know what it is and live where you can get it, Pinconning is ideal. Velveeta, while great for many purposes, is truly awful in a grilled cheese. Truly awful. > [@Chimera](#): > > I dunno, a couple of slices of Oat bread with a slice of pepperjack in the middle is pretty nice. Yum. Olive oil sounds great too, especially on sourdough that you slice yourself. Of course, any bread should be sliced yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/77 "2014-02-17T17:38:15Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Actually, yes they are: > > No, I don’t like it. Yes, I’ve tried it, yes there is a difference. And here we have someone who _does_ like it, and _can_ tell the difference, and thinks that it’s _better_. > Which is it? Is it better, or is there no difference? And if you can’t tell the difference, then again, why do some people think it’s so important for mayo haters to eat mayo that it’s o.k. to try to fool them into eating it? Nobody is trying to trick you. If that is what you’re getting from puly’s comments, than I have to assume you have difficulty reading the English language. You’re quoting different people. I don’t think there is any discernible difference. Someone disagrees. This seems to come as a shock to you for some reason. I suspect Washoe is slightly overstating his case. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/78 "2014-02-17T17:46:58Z")
Am I the only one who doesn’t assemble the sandwich before grilling it? I heat a pan, medium/mediium/high with copious amounts of butter in it, place two slices of bread in it and cheese on one of the slices. This allows both sides to cook evenly and the bread to crisp up while the chees slowly melts. I do not like overmelting the cheese. Then when the bread is nice and dark brown and crispy I assemble. Slice it diagonally, dammmit! Personally I just ike some sharp cheddar and sourdough. I also like to add some pepperoni too, but simply cook those in the same pan and then place in the grilled cheese before assembling. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/79 "2014-02-17T18:15:17Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I’ve never seen a Velveeta that is a cheese spread. Are you thinking of Cheez Whiz? Velveeta is labeled as “Prepared cheese product.” Plus you can get it in “singles” form, just like Kraft singles. There’s nothing spreadable about regular Velveeta unless you melt it. My mistake. I thought it was a ‘cheese product’, but I mis-read the link. It was changed _from_ ‘cheese spread’ (and I agree it’s not very spreadable at room temperature) _to_ ‘cheese product’. I read it backward. > [@pulykamell](#): > > And it seems weird to say Velveeta is acceptable, while Kraft singles are not, as Velveeta seems farther removed from “cheese” than Kraft singles are. > > Anyhow, I like the deli American cheese or the singles on my grilled cheese. For me, the quintessential American comfort food grilled cheese is Wonder-like bread and a slice or two of Kraft singles. My “grown-up” grilled cheese might use a light rye (preferably with caraway) and a nicer deli-style American process cheese (although I like to use Munster from time to time, and I’ve recently become quite fond of Land O Lakes 4-cheese Italian process cheese.) Kraft Singles just taste nasty. I don’t like them on cold sandwiches or grilled sandwiches. Velveeta is not nasty, and good for grilled cheese sandwiches (but never cold sandwiches) for a change or if you’re out of Kraft Deli Deluxe. I haven’t seen Wonder Bread in ages. I don’t think I’ve seen it in stores since I moved up here. (I noticed a Hostess outlet in Bellingham, but never managed to get to it before they went out of business.) My ‘comfort food’ GCS is made with Kraft Deli Deluxe, or other American Cheese (not ‘cheese food’ or ‘cheese product’). My ‘grown up’ comfort food GCS is the same. If I want cheddar, I’ll make a toasted Vegemite muffin. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/80 "2014-02-17T19:05:39Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Slice it diagonally, dammmit! No. Do not desecrate a good sandwich by slicing it diagonally. The sandwich should ideally be eaten in its pristine state, but if you absolutely must cut it, do so in a manner that preserves the original shape as much as possible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459.md?page=5)