# Grilled cheese sandwich-what the heck am I doing wrong? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 16, 2014, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459 "2014-02-16T03:45:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/101 "2014-02-17T23:42:30Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > No, it’s the exact opposite. The flavor falls out through the points. > > The God-given natural shape of the sandwich is its natural, uncut shape. Anything that alters that is a mutation. I guess that is why every restaurant in the world cuts their sandwiches then. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/102 "2014-02-18T00:08:36Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Hint: If the slices come individually wrapped in plastic, it isn’t fancy cheese. > > Usually it isn’t even “cheese”. Kraft Singles are “pasteurized processed cheese product,” which means they’re mostly cheese that has been shredded, melted, boiled, mixed with preservatives, emulsifiers, etc., and poured into a slice shape. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/103 "2014-02-18T00:30:58Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > I guess that is why every restaurant in the world cuts their sandwiches then. Actually, every place I ever get sandwiches at don’t cut them unless you ask. That includes Subway, Arbys, and the local diner. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/104 "2014-02-18T02:04:41Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Kraft Singles are “pasteurized processed cheese product,” which means they’re mostly cheese that has been shredded, melted, boiled, mixed with preservatives, emulsifiers, etc., and poured into a slice shape. People always forget the secret ingredients: cockroaches and rat feces. That makes for some mmmm, mmmmm, comfort food cheese! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/105 "2014-02-18T03:40:58Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > People always forget the secret ingredients: cockroaches and rat feces. Almost all the food we eat has some of that. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/106 "2014-02-18T04:43:49Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > People always forget the secret ingredients: cockroaches and rat feces. And love. Cockroaches, rat feces and love ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/107 "2014-02-18T06:29:42Z")
Everyone who’s buying those pre-shredded bags of cheese, you know you’re eating [sawdust, right](http://www.foodrenegade.com/would-like-some-wood-pulp-your-shredded-cheese/)? Celluose, it’s right there on the packet. Grate it yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/108 "2014-02-18T12:57:40Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > Everyone who’s buying those pre-shredded bags of cheese, you know you’re eating [sawdust, right](http://www.foodrenegade.com/would-like-some-wood-pulp-your-shredded-cheese/)? Celluose, it’s right there on the packet. > > Grate it yourself. Cellulose isn’t sawdust. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/109 "2014-02-18T13:16:07Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Actually, every place I ever get sandwiches at don’t cut them unless you ask. That includes Subway, Arbys, and the local diner. Really? Subway ALWAYS cuts mine - at least the foot long sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/110 "2014-02-18T15:17:46Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Actually, yes they are: > [@pulykamell](#): > > If you weren’t told, you really wouldn’t know. It’s like the whole mayo-in-cake trick that way. 😕 You are misreading my quote, and I thought I clarified that in my answer when I said in my follow up to your question “What is it with people who think their mission in life is to try to trick people into eating things they don’t like?” with “I don’t know and I wouldn’t know.” If I know somebody doesn’t like mayo, no, I don’t try to “fool” them by putting mayo on the sandwich anyway. What kind of person would do that (other than dads trying to trick their kids. My dad did that to me with frogs legs, telling me they were shrimp. The presence of a bone kind of gave it away and the fact that they don’t look anything like shrimp, even battered and deep-fried. What puzzled me most is that I would’ve eaten it anyway. I didn’t need to be “tricked” into eating frog legs.) ETA: And, yes, on the cutting issue, grilled cheese needs to be cut on the diagonal. OK, “needs” is a strong word, but I prefer it that way. When I make sandwiches for myself using squarish bread, I don’t normally cut them, but grilled cheese, for whatever reason, feels “wrong” unless it’s cut on the diagonal. And it makes for neater eating for me, starting by eating in from the point. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/111 "2014-02-18T15:25:05Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Marie Barone made grilled cheeses with bacon. Never tried it, but it sounds ok. Better yet, while still maintaining some of the “purity” of a grilled cheese, try frying it in bacon grease some day. Still technically a grilled cheese, but with that smokey bacon flavor. I’m actually not a huge fan of bacon, but if they sold tubs of bacon fat, I’d totally have a tub. 95% of the reason I buy bacon is for the fat. ---
**Author:** ![jrsone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jrsone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jrsone)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/112 "2014-02-18T15:44:37Z")
I thumb my nose at all your grilled cheeses! Sinclair, call the French and have them fly me in some of their finest cheese and bread but when they arrive don’t tell them I am not home, I do not care to talk to them, they talk forever and I simply do not have the time. I crave the grilled cheese and not chit chat. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/113 "2014-02-18T15:56:34Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Colby and cheddar are the champagnes of cheese? Definitely don’t come to my house, where we’ve been known to make grilled cheese sandwiches with imported triple cream brie. Usually I’m rolling my eyes a lot when my husband does it - especially if any can of Campbell’s Tomato Soup is involved. (They are really good). ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/114 "2014-02-18T16:26:01Z")
OK, everybody raise their hand who made themselves a grilled cheese since this thread went up? _raises hand_ ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/115 "2014-02-18T18:16:48Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > OK, everybody raise their hand who made themselves a grilled cheese since this thread went up? _raises hand_ Two hands up. I could eat grilled cheese every day. I used that really crumbly Cabot sharp cheddar, and tried parmesan and garlic on the outside. Yum! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/116 "2014-02-18T19:54:21Z")
I have not made a grilled cheese sandwich because of/since the starting of this thread. But I’m planning on making a grilled ham and cheese sandwich for lunch today. (Doesn’t mean I’ll do it; but I’m planning on it. We’ll see in a couple of hours.) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/117 "2014-02-18T19:58:11Z")
Yeah, all this talk of grilled cheese and I caved in. Two slices of plastic-wrapped generic jalapeno jack “singles”, two slices of soft wheat bread, and a small cast iron pan with melted butter. Sliced on the diagonal. Yum. ---
**Author:** ![Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kansas_Beekeeper)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/118 "2014-02-18T20:44:07Z")
Based on this thread, I tried the mayo thing. I used real mayo. I might as well have used Elmer’s glue. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/119 "2014-02-18T20:58:48Z")
> [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](#): > > Based on this thread, I tried the mayo thing. I used real mayo. I might as well have used Elmer’s glue. Well, glad you tried. I was the same. Skeptical, and first discovered the trick on the Dope. Used Hellman’s. Worked great. Mind you, I prefer butter for the flavor, but I think mayo is better than any neutral oil (or olive oil, for that matter. As much as I love olive oil, I don’t associate the flavor with grilled cheese.) ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/120 "2014-02-18T21:03:16Z")
Had two last night. Brownberry Oat Nut bread Butter Sliced Mesquite smoked Turkey breast Baby Swiss In a cast iron skillet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459.md?page=7)