# Grilled cheese sandwich-what the heck am I doing wrong? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 16, 2014, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459 "2014-02-16T03:45:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![boyhowdy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/43a26b/32.png) [@boyhowdy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boyhowdy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/141 "2014-02-21T18:03:55Z")
Ooohh- I love jelly too! Rye, muenster and judicious application of mango-peach preserves. Not too much now… ---
**Author:** ![Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kansas_Beekeeper)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/142 "2014-02-21T18:09:24Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I admit, I’ve never tried it with homemade mayo, but I can’t see why that would make a difference. Basically, the mayo should just more or less turn into oil upon hitting the frying pan. [This is not the greatest video in the world](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6x0ZXSFlec), but kind of shows you what the end result should be like. Mayo was store-bought. I’ll try it again. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/143 "2014-02-21T18:32:11Z")
Cut diagonally, not. horizontally. [It’s science.](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120914097) ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/144 "2014-02-21T18:35:58Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Cut diagonally, not. horizontally. [It’s science.](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120914097) More “crustless surface” is a negative, not a positive. Makes the sandwich less stable. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/145 "2014-02-21T18:54:12Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > More “crustless surface” is a negative, not a positive. Makes the sandwich less stable. Thanks, Sheldon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/146 "2014-02-21T19:01:35Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > More “crustless surface” is a negative, not a positive. Makes the sandwich less stable. It’s not all about stability, y’know. The diagonal shape maintain integrity while creating a more mouth friendly eating environment. The face is curved owing, meaning the crust should be flayed outward for maximum eating comfort. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/147 "2014-02-21T19:41:29Z")
> [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](#): > > Mayo was store-bought. I’ll try it again. Ah, when you said “real mayo” I thought you were distinguishing it from store-bought mayo, but not I realize you mean versus “salad dressing” like Miracle Whip. I use Hellman’s, but the last couple times I made grilled cheese (inspired, of course, by this thread), I did my more usual butter-the-pan method. By the way, the cheese & jam combo is delicious. I don’t know why it had never occurred to me before to try that with a grilled cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/148 "2014-02-21T21:07:21Z")
> [@boyhowdy](#): > > Ooohh- I love jelly too! Rye, muenster and judicious application of mango-peach preserves. Not too much now… Why stop there. Throw some smoked Gouda and a thin slice of salami in there for moral support. ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/149 "2014-02-21T21:08:41Z")
Diagonal… horizontal… vertical… doesn’t matter to me, as long as you [fold it](http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1953/01/05). ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/150 "2014-02-21T23:45:04Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > And love. Cockroaches, rat feces and love Breakfast of champions! > [@pulykamell](#): > > Better yet, while still maintaining some of the “purity” of a grilled cheese, try frying it in bacon grease some day. Still technically a grilled cheese, but with that smokey bacon flavor. I’m actually not a huge fan of bacon, but if they sold tubs of bacon fat, I’d totally have a tub. 95% of the reason I buy bacon is for the fat. I can’t bear to throw away perfectly good, yummy fat like that, but I go through bacon the way vegans go through brown rice, so I always have a tub of it in the fridge. If you were closer, I’d give you some of mine! > [@Chimera](#): > > Had two last night. > > Brownberry Oat Nut bread > Butter > Sliced Mesquite smoked Turkey breast > Baby Swiss > > In a cast iron skillet. In the library. By the butler. > [@Cartoonacy](#): > > [_Ham on the Street_](http://204.78.50.142/fine/ham_on_the_street/episode/0,3305,FINE_33536_64544,00.html) with George Duran! I loved that show! Always wondered why they pulled the plug so quickly; it’s more creative and original than 95% of the shows they air. > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I had a hankerin’ for a grilled cheese sammich thanks to this thread. > > I happened to have some duck fat in the fridge. Oh my!.. Can I trade you some of my bacon fat for your duck fat? I just realized Sea Dragon and pulykamell are both in Chicago … hmmmmmm … :dubious: (Can we organize some sort of Doper Cooking Fat swap meet?) ---
**Author:** ![Cartoonacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/848f3c/32.png) [@Cartoonacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartoonacy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/151 "2014-02-22T00:06:17Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > In the library. > > By the butler. Lucy. In the sky. With diamonds. ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/152 "2014-02-22T02:55:29Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I just realized Sea Dragon and pulykamell are both in Chicago … hmmmmmm … :dubious: (Can we organize some sort of Doper Cooking Fat swap meet?) I’m in Dallas but can refuse your bacon fat… However if you ever feel compelled to give away steak or wine then I’m your guy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/153 "2014-02-22T03:54:40Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Can I trade you some of my bacon fat for your duck fat? > > I just realized Sea Dragon and pulykamell are both in Chicago … hmmmmmm … :dubious: (Can we organize some sort of Doper Cooking Fat swap meet?) I have bacon/pork fat in the fridge, too! I tend to use bacon ends, so not so much fat to collect, but I pour off what I can from it. And whenever I cook a batch of regular bacon, of course pour that off, too. Then, I also roast loin or shoulder once a month or so, and add a little olive oil to the pan, then collect those drippings and put them all in with the bacon fat. So it’s a little adulterated, but tastes great. I’ve dabbled with schmaltz, too, since I started roasting whole chickens. Don’t have any of that right now, though. My farmer also carries lard. I haven’t bought any from her yet, since I like my concoction so much, but I do run empty sometimes. I wanted to roast another duck this weekend, but she was out of whole ducks and I have to wait another two weeks before I can render some more of that deliciousness. Boo. So good on potatoes! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/154 "2014-02-22T17:25:46Z")
See, and I usually have plenty of chicken fat in the fridge, as I boil up chickens for broth and use the meat to feed my dog (you can find chicken quarters as low as 39 or 49 cents a pound here), the broth for myself, and then there’s plenty of fat to skim for the broth in the morning. It’s not as good as roasted chicken fat from rendering skins, but it still comes in very handy. The problem with bacon is that I just don’t go through it. I’ll buy a pack and it’ll rot and get moldy before I use it all. I just want the fat. I suppose I could just buy a pack and render it for the fat and throw away the meat or put it in the dog food with the chicken. I’m sure my pup would be happy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/155 "2014-02-22T18:49:43Z")
Bacon does pretty well in the freezer. I cook the whole package and then freeze the pieces a few to a baggie. Handy to add to other stuff, when cooking up another roast or stew, too. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/156 "2014-02-22T18:51:20Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I suppose I could just buy a pack and render it for the fat and throw away the meat… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/157 "2014-02-22T18:55:16Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Bacon does pretty well in the freezer. I cook the whole package and then freeze the pieces a few to a baggie. Handy to add to other stuff, when cooking up another roast or stew, too. I buy five pounds (bulk) at a time from the butcher counter, then divide it into smaller packages and vacuum seal it. Keeps perfectly. A package usually lasts us about a week to ten days at one slice each per day. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2014, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/158 "2014-02-22T19:03:20Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > :eek: I know it’s odd, but I just don’t use a lot of bacon in its sliced form. When I do buy bacon, I tend to buy slab bacon or those bacon end things, as I most often use bacon in a diced up form rather than slices. And, 90% of the time, I’m mostly interested in the fat, not so much the meat (although reserving the bits and adding at the end for texture is nice). If I’m in the mood for something like bacon and eggs, I far prefer Canadian bacon (the cured smoked pork loin type that is more like ham than bacon). ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/159 "2014-02-25T15:40:45Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > Mayonnaise makes an acceptable substitute if one has no butter. That’s what the folks at the siege of the city of Maó thought too. Or so one of the stories of its origin goes. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459/160 "2014-02-25T15:52:10Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > It’s funny how an innocent list of good things turns into something so heinous and disgusting. 🙂 You must be one of those pervs that likes Miracle Whip. :eek: To me the miracle is that they can call it edible. That stuff is disgusting. IMNSHO.😃 (Of course, I think off-brand mayonaisse is almost as bad.):dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grilled-cheese-sandwich-what-the-heck-am-i-doing-wrong/681459.md?page=9)