# Groaners. The really bad joke thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 18, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875 "2004-09-18T18:18:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/1 "2004-09-18T18:18:36Z")
This joke is bad on a couple of levels, not the least of which it requires knowledge that many younger people might not have. A zoo receives a gnu as a gft. Since the new gnu was not expected, they had to scramble to find a place to put it until they could get a proper habitat built for it. They found a storeroom that was empty save for a large pile of floor tiles. When they checked on the gnu in the morning, they found that the floor tiles had been rather professionally laid. They phoned the donor. “We put the gnu in a storeroom, and it _appears_ that the animal had lain the tiles during the night. Is there anything… ‘special’ about this gnu?” To which the donor replied… It’s a typical gnu, and tiler too. 😃_groan!_ ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/2 "2004-09-18T18:21:19Z")
What do you call a fly with no wings. A walk What’s brown and sticky a brown stick ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/3 "2004-09-18T18:28:06Z")
For those who didn’t get the OP: [spoiler]Tippecanoe and Tyler too (tip-ee-kuh-NOOH) A slogan from the presidential election of 1840. “Tippecanoe” was the Whig presidential candidate William Henry Harrison, a hero of the Battle of Tippecanoe in 1811. John Tyler was the vice presidential candidate. (from [bartleby.com](http://bartleby.com))[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/4 "2004-09-18T18:42:45Z")
What’s the one about the Dyslexic Agnostic? … ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/5 "2004-09-18T18:45:14Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s the one about the Dyslexic Agnostic? He was also an insomniac. He stayed up all night wondering if there is a dog. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/6 "2004-09-18T18:45:16Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > What’s brown and sticky > > a brown stick I _ADORE_ this joke. My college roommate and I used to tell jokes like this all the time. ---
**Author:** ![InvidiousCourgette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@InvidiousCourgette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InvidiousCourgette)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/7 "2004-09-18T18:59:24Z")
What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/8 "2004-09-18T19:09:58Z")
What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison? [Aussie accent]: You can’t wash yer face in a buffalo! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/9 "2004-09-18T19:36:17Z")
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/10 "2004-09-18T19:41:13Z")
> [@InvidiousCourgette](#): > > What is orange and sounds like a parrot? > > A carrot This is quite possibly my favorite stupid joke ever. It totally cracks me up every time – and has never gotten anything more than a raised eyebrow out of anyone I’ve told it to. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/11 "2004-09-18T19:45:09Z")
Oh **Johnny!** That’s as bad as my piano tuner joke in[this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=271126&page=2&pp=40&highlight=make+laugh) (see post #78, or was it #79, ) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/12 "2004-09-18T19:45:50Z")
> [@](#): > > This is quite possibly my favorite stupid joke ever. I think my sister’s favourite stupid joke is: Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/13 "2004-09-18T19:51:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh **Johnny**! That’s as bad as my piano tuner joke Speaking of pianos… Cindy was taking a class in the playing and tuning of pianos. Cindy had a little brother who thought he’d “fix” the family’s piano so that it would be in shape for when Cindy and her classmates came over to tune it. He pried on it, and used grout on the cracks (but being rather young, managed to get some of the grout into the keys). His mother admonished him: You’d better not grout! You’d better not pry! Cindy’s class is coming to tune! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/14 "2004-09-18T19:53:43Z")
Of course, in my haste I’d forgotten part of this very old joke. In addition to using grout and prying on the piano, Little Brother also took to pounding on it with a hammer. You’d better not grout! You’d better not pry! You’d better not pound; I’m telling you why. Cindy’s class is coming to tune. Sorry 'bout that. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/15 "2004-09-18T19:59:33Z")
A personal fave groaner joke is: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t return? [spoiler] a _stick_ kinda like the “brown and sticky” joke, but different…[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/16 "2004-09-18T20:02:05Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > I think my sister’s favourite stupid joke is: Why did the chicken cross the playground? > > To get to the other slide. Your sister and I are clearly soulmates – I’m snorting with laughter here. ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/17 "2004-09-18T20:04:05Z")
An oldie. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. The great thing about this joke is that it’s infinitely adaptable. Examples… Why did John Lennon fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did Ringo Starr fall out of the tree? He was just following John. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/18 "2004-09-18T20:05:46Z")
A frog hops into a bank and approaches Patty Black, the loan officer. “Hello. My name is Kermit Jagger, and I’d like a $100,000 pond improvement loan.” “Well,” says Miss Black, “Do you have any collateral?” The frog produces a delicate figurine and says, “I have this.” The loan officer says she has to talk it over with the bank manager. She takes the figurine into his office. "There’s a frog outside,"she tells the manager. “His name is Kermit Jagger, and he wants a $100,000 loan. All he has for collateral is this… um… What is this, anyway?” The bank manager says, It’s a knickknack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/19 "2004-09-18T20:13:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Your sister and I are clearly soulmates – I’m snorting with laughter here. In a similar vein… Why did the chicken cross the road? [spoiler]To prove to the armadillo it _could_ be done. Since you’re in Philly, you may want to use “opossum” or “raccoon” instead. [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![InvidiousCourgette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@InvidiousCourgette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InvidiousCourgette)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875/20 "2004-09-18T20:21:20Z")
Since \*\*Twickster \*\* has has explained that the parrot/carrot joke was his/her favourite joke ever, I will contribute my own: A horse walks into a bar. He asks for a drink. The barman says: OK. But why the long face? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groaners-the-really-bad-joke-thread/264875.md?page=2)