Laws-a-mussey, this is encouraging. Here I was believing I was the only one driven to teeth-grinding, eye twitching frustration by this. I hate, loathe and abominate shopping in all forms. Unfortunately, I have food, toilet paper, etc. so grocery shopping is a must. Drat.
The “shoppers laws” are great; a big “bravo” (okay, “brava”) for 'em. I do the list and coupon thing and it saves time. One time saver; when doing the list, I make a note of what I’m OUT of and what’s “restock soon”. If there’s a clusterf**k in an aisle, I just circle the item if I can go another week w/o, and put it transfer it to next week’s list when I get home.
As far as the rude bozos go, I crank up the “gush, kill 'em w/ kindness and make 'em nervous” mode. Push right on in and start chatting like a stoned Junior Leaguer. If they ignore a few quiet, civil “exuse me’s” they get the full treatement:
“Oh, I BEG your pardon, I’m SOOO sorry, I just need this for a recipe/event/ whatever (this does NOT work w/ toilet paper!)and then I’ll be RIGHT out of your way…”
It’s annoying as hell, and unanwerable. They can’t get too pissy w/o looking like a total jerk.
Of course since they ARE total, mannerless jerks, if they do get pissy you can happily let fly: "Oh, I know and I am SOOO sorry, isn’t it just a scandal how narrow these aisles are? And it’s so HAARRD to read the fine print on those labels! [chatter, chatter, chatter]
[blush]
Honestly, I only do this if driven beyond human limits. Confusion, deafness, zoning out, etc. are understandable; rudeness isn’t. And I have never run a cart over a belligerent, screaming child, though it has been tempting.
This is due to fear of lawyers.
First rule of shopping. Get your cart and make a bee line for the brooms/mops. Pick a broom or mop and put it in the cart so that the stick extends to the front. When you run into an aisle hog, goose em with the stick. You can then apologise with the disclaimer that you didn’t realize the stick was that far in front of the cart. This really doesn’t cause any of them to be more considerate, but it makes you feel better.
BTW, notice what the person you goose is wearing, they tend to get violent if you get em a second time.
I am awaiting the day that my state makes cattle prods available in Supermarkets, then I will have fun.
A hat with bells on is not funny, it is the jester underneath.
Oh man, put me down for the bags too. My house is already over flowing with them and they look at you like you’re from outer space when you say you don’t need a bag for something. “Look! I’m putting it right into my purse! It’s gone!” Putting something in a bag that already has a handle (milk!) and putting one or two things in their own bag are my other pet peeves. One of the stores around here is one of the “bag your own” variety, which I love because I just toss half of it into my cart bagless (cereal, milk, 5lb bags of apples.) It goes right into my trunk and then into the kitchen. We must have the only good checkers in the world at our Safeway, I’ve never had a problem with them. Once I had an amusing experience when one asked me if I had found everything ok. I told him I hadn’t been able to find the large bags of peanuts like you take to the baseball games. (The brand they carry is called “Hoody’s” but I felt silly saying "I didn’t see any “Hoody’s!”) He goes “Oh! You mean the HOODY’S!” and got me a bag right away. I thought that was a riot. All the retard checkers in our city work at the KMart and the Wal-mart (stay away from the “Marts” around here.) Once I practically had to reach over the counter and ring up my own stuff the gal was so dumb. Then she didn’t have a pen at the register for me to sign my charge slip. She looked like she had no idea what to do and I felt like going “Guess all this is free today!” Arrrgh!
“What’s the meaning
When you speak with so much feeling?
Is it over when you’re sober?
Is it junk?
You only tell me you love me when you’re drunk.”
today was not my day for long lines at the market.
first of all, this lady with a TON of groceries, with her husband was holding up the line because she was FREAKING CUTTING COUPONS from the paper, while we were waiting for her to go through!!! and then, on top of that, she sends her husband back to get stuff since it doesnt go with the coupon she got!?!
to top that off, she writes a check to pay for her stuff.
the person behind said the exact same thing i was thinking… boy did i pick the longest line!!
DOH!
ThufferinThuccotash – hey! I use checks! What I don’t understand is how SLOW some people are in writing them. Jesus! You’d think they were drafting the Deceleration of Independence! I can write out a check just about as fast as you can whip out your card. And I DO NOT wear polyester! EVER! You play nice with me or it’s twirl time!
I don’t get charged a per check charge and it’s just a better way for me to pay than my debit card. How many of YOU have used one of those handy little cards, have forgotten to enter the amount into your checkbook balance and then find everything bouncing all over town?
I also agree with Shirley Ujest: make them walk that sucker over to the bank so I have a few more days of interest!
Aaah, the sweet bliss of bachelorhood. I do my shopping at the Ballard Market at 3 AM when I get home from the office (and I work the DAY shift).
I do have two self-countering techniques:
(1) I always shop hungry. It’s a horrible mental torture to not be able to put together even a bachelor meal plan, but hey, I said it was 3 AM and I haven’t eaten anything but bagels
(2) I use my motorcycle helmet instead of a shopping cart or basket. REALLY cuts down on the food volume.
“It ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive”
Bruce Springsteen
I actually had a good shopping experience today. Went to Meijer’s at about 8 am. I only needed a couple of things, coffee & baby formula. My very favorite uncle in the whole world works there, and I happened to see him today. I chatted with him for a minute, got my stuff, and went through one of those nifty new check-your-own-stuff-out thingies. Ahhhhhh.
One of the things that bugs me is how when I’m doing the major shopping excursion, why does it seem like each thing has it’s own bag??? I don’t care if you put the milk in the same bag as the toilet paper. As long as it’s not in with the drain cleaner, it’s fine. I mean, I like the plastic bags. I (and nearly everyone I know) uses them as bathroom trash can liners. But if I’ve got 50 items, I do not need 50 bags. Argh!
I, too, hate going grocery shopping, all the mothers with children, the elderlies, the people who cannot speak english holding up the deli lines and the cash registers! ARRGG!!
That is why i do my shopping online and they deliver the groceries to my door.
Choosing a line: I always choose the wrong line, and wait as the person in front of me digs pennies out of a huge vinyl handbag, or copies out the Gettysburg Address on a check, or tries to pay with her library card…
One of these days, I will deliberately choose the longest line, just to see if the jinx is me, or what.
I must just be lucky with the checkers. We have really nice checkout kids…not terribly bright always, but very nice. One young man was born without a right hand, and he’s the fastest checker they have.
Is it just me, or does anyone else find the number “12” difficult to count to? When the line says “12 items or less cash only” WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU PULL UP TO IT WITH 20 THINGS IN YOUR CART AND THEN PAY WITH A CREDIT CARD???
You are buying $2 worth of toilet paper. Yet you need to WRITE A CHECK? OR PAY WITH A CREDIT CARD??? What - that $5 in your wallet has sentimental value???
You have been home all day. You are retired/stay at home mom/unemployed. You have had from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM to do your grocery shopping. But no. You wait until 5:00 to go in and get everything you’ll need for six weeks (accompanied by your five kids, six uncles and assorted grandparents to shop as a family) clogging the aisles and generally paying no attention to anyone but yourselves making it next to IMPOSSIBLE for me to pick up a case of beer and some nachos in under an hour! GO TO THE STORE WHEN THE WORKING PEOPLE ARE AT WORK! NOT WHEN WE’RE TRYING TO RUN IN AFTER WORK JUST FOR ONE OR TWO THINGS! YOU HAD HOURS TO DO THIS ALL DAY LONG! WHY ARE YOU DOING IT NOW? AND IF YOU MUST, STAY THE *&^% OUT OF MY WAY!
I apologize - I had a bad grocery day yesterday, and this wonderful thread offered me a place to vent…
What drives me batty is not so much the customers, but the let’s put a pyramid of stuff in the middle of every aisle and another the end of the aisle so customers can brush up on their defensive driving before they get into their car again. Frankly, it doesn’t make me want to buy the featured product but to ram it with the cart. Hard.
Okay everbody! Take a deep breath! Calm down! Relax. Easy. Easy. Easy now. Aaah. There, isn’t that better?
The best part of my week is when I get to go grocery shopping. I tend to go later in the evening, so I usually miss the right-after-work rush, but that’s about the only concession I make.
Just think. In one trip to the grocery store I get: 1) My “spending money” fix, 2) my “cater to my bodily appetite” fix, 3) my “get out of the house for a while” fix, 4) my “I’m going to get something special for me/my wife/my kids” fix, 5) my “I think I’ll try a new recipe, I can taste it already” fix, and 6) my “I’m buying this just for me and nobody else can have it” fix.
I’ve certainly run into the usual bunch of jerks and cranks but I’m not going to let them spoil my great adventure. The store I shop at has very good service, good prices and frequent sales on stuff I buy a lot. I get to flirt with the checkers (they pretend not to notice!) and I’m always amused when the little bitty girl bagging my groceries offers to help me to my car (I’m a great big guy).
So – one of two things is true here: 1) Your shopping experience is what YOU make it, or 2) I need to get a life!!
Wait a second here!!! You mean to tell me shopping carts aren’t meant to ride up and down the aisles of the store on? That racing them to your car is Taboo?? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me? The most fun I ever had grocery shopping was riding around in a cart with a sweet little boy while his mom payed for her stuff. And this was just last summer. When did we become so stressed and uptight that we forgot how to have a good time. Lighten up people… grocery shopping can be as fun as you make it!
“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas
You play nice with me or it’s twirl time! 