# Grocery Store Express Lane Proposal **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 1, 2015, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496 "2015-02-01T05:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/21 "2015-02-01T19:31:43Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > What happened to the good old days when you could head down to your local Groceries and Sundries, walk up to the counter, hand your shopping list to the shop-keep, and walk out a few minutes later with all your goods? Indeed! Then you put your sack of supplies in your buggy, head down the carriageway and you’re done! If you read this in a “Mr. Burns” voice it sounds even funnier. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/22 "2015-02-01T19:34:45Z")
I used to get annoyed, now I tell myself I should just feel sorry for the people so lacking in intelligence they can’t count. Then I wait, feeling smug and superior about my math skills. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/23 "2015-02-01T21:18:06Z")
At my grocery store people with 12 items or less won’t get a special line. What kind of bullshit is that, anyway? “I hardly buy anything, could I have special treatment at the checkout?” In the meantime the store’s best customers are relegated to the end of the line. Fuck that noise, you want to get special treatment, fill the goddamn cart like God and Piggly Wiggly intended. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/24 "2015-02-01T21:49:37Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I thought this thread was going to be about an exceptionally unromantic marriage proposal. Q: Would she still say yes when, after scanning the ring, he fishes out coupons & a club card? “But Look, Honey! Its one of those rings from Kays where the stone spins like a pinwheel if you twirl it. …And on the other side, in the platinum is a Genuine Siren Whistle! Only the Schlockenbrothers carves siren whistles into their rings… and they are sold [Exclusively at Kay’s…!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pNWVy-yGFg)” ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/25 "2015-02-01T22:01:26Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > I know others will now say cards are faster due to their ninja card swiping skills and knowledge, but in my experience it ain’t so around here! I was thinking “old lady with a change purse full of pennies and nickels”, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/26 "2015-02-01T22:10:13Z")
The person paying cash can’t do so until everything is scanned and the total announced. But the credit card user can scan his card while stuff is still being scanned. At most, he has to accept the total and sign on the screen. And at some stores, amounts up to $25 or $50 don’t even need a signature. So credit cards are faster. Also, I’ve never used a check at the supermarket, but from what I can see, you don’t even need to fill it out. The cashier puts the check in the machine, which then prints the amount and other info on the check. I think you still need to sign it, though. The most annoying customer is the one who waits until everything is scanned and bagged to then dig through his wallet or her purse for a method of payment. Didn’t it occur to them that they might need that earlier? ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/27 "2015-02-01T22:39:13Z")
I can have my cash out of my pocket, in hand, so all that needs to happens is for the cashier to make change. Doesn’t take any longer than all the tapping and signing even if the card is swiped early. Cards can be swiped early, but I have yet to see many people do that. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/28 "2015-02-01T23:17:44Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Why stop with just slapping a surcharge?..I’d rather slap the damn person in the face! > And then make him go sit in the “time-out” chair near the cleaning supplies. > > And that’s just for a first offence. > Second offence-- I’d offer him a choice: death by stoning, or being burned at the stake. > > -chapachula, who just spent _way_ too much time in the checkout lane, and the ice cream started to melt. (Chocolate rum with fudge swirls). Agreed. > [@kayaker](#): > > Personally, I love the self checkout. Please return item to the baggage area. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/29 "2015-02-02T00:17:24Z")
When I worked at Kmart, we weren’t allowed to “enforce” the Express Lane, even though there was less room there. Anyone who wanted to come through could. And guess who usually had to work there? Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/30 "2015-02-02T00:39:27Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > I wish for real “cash only and we mean it” checkout lanes. It seems it never fails that the person I’m behind waits until a hundred dollars worth of groceries have been rung up before she starts rooting through her luggage sized purse to find the wallet with the card in it. Swipe, swipe, denied! Oh well, try these other three cards- no good? Well, here, I have my checkbook! Can I use your pen? Oh, you need my driver’s license? > > I know others will now say cards are faster due to their ninja card swiping skills and knowledge, but in my experience it ain’t so around here! I would add cash _in hand_, merchandise in the other. If you can’t carry it in one hand go to a regular register. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/31 "2015-02-02T00:44:06Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > At my grocery store people with 12 items or less won’t get a special line. What kind of bullshit is that, anyway? “I hardly buy anything, could I have special treatment at the checkout?” In the meantime the store’s best customers are relegated to the end of the line. Fuck that noise, you want to get special treatment, fill the goddamn cart like God and Piggly Wiggly intended. I go to the grocery store 4-5 days a week. I buy small quantities of fresh stuff. I’ve been shopping at the same store since it opened in the late 80s. I might not be feeding a family of 4, but I’m pretty sure I’m one of the stores better customers. And I usually have 10 items or fewer. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/32 "2015-02-02T01:05:25Z")
How about the other side of the coin? People with half a dozen items in their basket stay the hell away from the regular checkout when you have six self-service and two express lanes to choose from, so I don’t have to wait behind you with my full cart. (Used to be just the old blue haired ladies doing this, but lately the college students have started pulling this crap too.) ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/33 "2015-02-02T01:16:01Z")
You would rather wait in the regular lane behind someone with a full cart rather than someone with six items in a basket? ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/34 "2015-02-02T01:43:18Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > (snip) > > Since there is a coat involved, everyone is going to want to turn it in to a fight. And there will need to be some way to adjudicate the that fight. And in the ends, it’s all going or be much slower than just letting them go through, and it will cost the store more customers in the end. So the coat comes off when the fight starts? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/35 "2015-02-02T06:50:53Z")
Know your store. One look at the parking lot tells me if I am even going to turn in. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/36 "2015-02-02T10:15:32Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > Cigarettes, for instance, are handled this way. Around here, most service-station armed robberies are drug-related crimes by nicotine addicts with no cash: “all the cash in your drawer, and a carton of cigarettes”. I don’t think you’d have much luck trying to put the cigarette buyers in a slow lane: when they’re buying cigarettes, they can be pretty focused. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/37 "2015-02-02T11:16:37Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > What happened to the good old days when you could head down to your local Groceries and Sundries, walk up to the counter, hand your shopping list to the shop-keep, and walk out a few minutes later with all your goods? Did you just fall out of the 19th century? ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/38 "2015-02-02T11:30:43Z")
Our local Ikea has a self-checkout system for 15 items or fewer. Usually people respect this, but I’ve seen a couple of chowderheads going through - or trying to - with two carts packed full. (Packed full of largely small things, by the way; I realize 15 of the bigger items at Ikea can easily fill up two carts.) The regular lines were too long, you see, and the self-checkout line was moving faster… My son has proposed a solution: an alarm system. Let things slide until you hit 20 items. For each item you scan after that, set the register to give a short WHOOP! and flash a light for a couple seconds. You can still go through there if you insist, but everyone else will know you are either a) self-centered enough to think the sign doesn’t apply to you; or b) unable to count to 20 (unless you are barefoot or wearing sandals). ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/39 "2015-02-02T14:51:15Z")
> [@brainstall](#): > > I used to get annoyed, now I tell myself I should just feel sorry for the people so lacking in intelligence they can’t count. Then I wait, feeling smug and superior about my math skills. They either can’t count or can’t read. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496/40 "2015-02-02T15:07:56Z")
The checker should ring up the first 12 or 15 items, whatever the posted express number is, and then all addition items in excess of that should be put back in the basket, moved to the back of the line and the buyer can sit back there with them and go through the line a second time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-express-lane-proposal/711496.md?page=3)