Easy solution to the change-on-top-of-bills problem:
Hold out only your thumb and forefinger, making sure you have three fingers curled to your palm. They can’t give you coins that way.
As someone who tells people to have a nice afternoon/evening all the time at work, I have to say that some people are very weird about just giving them their change and then walking off (we don’t have a permanently stationed cashier most of the time). Especially if you’ve just spent any time at all helping them find something or answering a question. You just need some kind of closing, and to just say “Goodbye” sounds strange. And “Have a nice afternoon,” is better than “Fuck you, buddy,” no matter how much I’d like to say it or not. 
Truth be told – I don’t care about change and bills in my hand at the same time, here’s what irks me (not as much as I let on in the OP, I just had nothing else really pissing me off that day):
The cashier usually takes out my change and bills, gets it ready to go, but doesn’t give it to me right away. Instead she holds onto it as she rips off the receipt and the little coupon thingie you get too and fits them right in there with the bills.
I keep my bills folded in my pocket, not in my wallet – I’m a grab, fold, stuff and go kinda guy.
I don’t really care about the receipt, and it’s a pain to fumble with it. I’m buying a $2 cup-o-soup, not a DVD player. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be returning it.
On the other hand … like it’s really upsetting my world that I have one more loose piece of paper in my life. Anybody who thinks I wrote this OP because I’m actually loosing my shit (heh … turd burglar) over this is a nincompoop.
I always handed people their coins first, then their money, then their receipt. I didn’t rush it-I let them have some time to put their coins and bills in their wallet, etc.
Best comeback ever.
[Thoughtfully] Actually, at least 60% of my store’s customers use debit or credit cards, so most of the time, all I have to deal with is asking them whether to put their receipt in their hand or their bag.
We’re required to say something nice when we finish a transaction. I think it sounds phony, too, but I have to…
I’ve had people jokingly say they don’t want a nice day. So I say, “Okay, then, have a lousy day!” And then they thank me!
Hehehe…a sense of humor is always appreciated. Unless it’s the old, “oops, doesn’t scan-it’s FREE!”
Fargo, which isn’t so icy cold lately.
You write a check in a grocery line??? You inconsiderate @#!@^*(!@#$!&**fuck, fuck, fuckkitty, fuck, fuck, shit, goat-loving, chunder-headed, dumpster diver!! Aaarghh!! Christ on a stick, they have these plastic cards that ‘debit’ money out of the same account as that cob-web covered check you just pulled out of your ass, and it doesn’t have to be notarized by every freakin’ manager in the place after having x-rayed every piece of ID on you (and, “No”, your ID from “Triple X Video” isn’t acceptable!)and taken a DNA sample or stamped with the one stamp that is down at the far end of the freakin’ building. Freakin’ hell. Lucky they don’t allow us to pack heat in Canada. “BANG” (rest of people in line cheer). Sheesh…
Well, I guess I’m just a nincompoop. There haqve been plenty of stupid rants following similar trends before, and having worked in retail, I’ve seen people get incredibly heated over a lot more trivial things. The fact that others jumped on the bandwagon in a not-so-over-the-top way lead me to believe this was a legitimate rant by one of the many hundreds of people whose eyes I just wanted to put a bolt between. Sorry I missed the humor there, guy, but like I said…I’ve seen people become a lot more heated about shit a lot more stupid than this, and honestly, it ain’t that big a deal.
Oh my god, I don’t even see how you noticed this. I’m still going over my mental files, trying to find out anything, anything a clerk has ever done with money and a receipt that annoyed me, and I’m still not coming up with anything. I just jam it into my pocket and sort it out later. The fate of the world does not repose on what pocket my bills are in.
Jack Batty, that cracked me up. You write funny. 
Maybe you could get your groceries delivered next time…? Then if they hand you the stuff all at once, you can at least toss it on a hall table or something without fear of losing anything.