# Grocery store shenanigans **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2013, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277 "2013-12-27T08:00:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/21 "2013-12-28T14:44:47Z")
Don’t forget to have a handful of coupons, some expired, some for different stores on unavailable items… Then after everything is totalled and bagged, start digging in your purse for your checckbook. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/22 "2013-12-28T21:39:22Z")
Sometimes when my wife and I are going through the produce aisle and there are other people in there, I’ll wait for her to get halfway down the section, and then pick up a bunch of leeks and shout, "Honey, do we need to \*\*take \*\*some **leeks**? Of course, I always keep a totally straight face while doing this. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/23 "2013-12-29T02:03:02Z")
Hide & seek/tag - hide by an end cap at the other end, even if the see you at some poimt, when they come up one aisle you go down a different one. ---
**Author:** ![keturah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e95f7d/32.png) [@keturah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keturah)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/24 "2013-12-29T02:48:42Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Fill an entire grocery cart with _produce_, then go to the self checkout. > Assholes. I fill my cart with produce and self check out. It isn’t hard… Either the produce has a sticker with the four digit code and I type it in or there is a look up function on the check out screen. So what is the problem:confused: ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/25 "2013-12-29T03:21:36Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > I fill my cart with produce and self check out. It isn’t hard… Either the produce has a sticker with the four digit code and I type it in or there is a look up function on the check out screen. So what is the problem:confused: You’re smart. Yes, that is the reason produce has those little stickers on them. The problem is, people I’m always stuck behind in the self-checkout line #1) usually have no fucking clue what they’re doing at the self-checkout machine in general, #2) have not figured out that said stickers have the code printed on them, and #3) the lookup screens take forever to navigate through, and often the customers don’t even know what the fuck they’re trying to buy. If you’ve never had to wait behind one of these people, you’re _way_ luckier than I have ever been at the supermarket. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/26 "2013-12-29T03:28:20Z")
Playing football with a roll of paper towels is entertaining. Toss it back and forth over the aisle to your friend on the other aisle as you are walking. Paper towels are fun! ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/27 "2013-12-29T15:03:51Z")
We had a thread called [Checkout items that don’t go well together](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=552050), which includes such delights as: > [@Checkout items that don't go well together](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/checkout-items-that-dont-go-well-together/528877/39): > > Pregnancy tests and coat hangers. I remember a similar topic on Something Awful. Probably a [Comedy Goldmine](http://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/) thread summary, but I can’t find it. I don’t think it’s indexed by search engines, alas. It’s pretty funny if anyone is able to dig it up. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/28 "2013-12-29T16:43:40Z")
Elderly ladies and bananas. My mother RIP used to con me into taking her to Aldi’s for a fruit run. She had mobility issues so she would loudly call out her orders to me: “I like **BIG** bananas, dont forget!” ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/29 "2013-12-29T17:01:21Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Try to sneak stuff into other peoples’ carts without them noticing. In an interview John Waters (Hairspray, etc.) said one of his favorite ‘people watching activities’ was to go Shopping for Others. His example: spot the vegan fitness guru and hide a hunk of fatback in their cart, then go hang out at the registers. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/30 "2013-12-29T18:56:27Z")
Set up a table and hand out free samples of stuff off the shelves. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/31 "2013-12-29T19:18:48Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Don’t forget to have a handful of coupons, some expired, some for different stores on unavailable items… Then after everything is totalled and bagged, start digging in your purse for your checckbook. :mad: I worked at Target back in the early 1980s, and this kind of thing happened all.the.time. :rolleyes: Whenever I decide not to buy something (which is not often), I give it to the cashier and tell them. I REALLY hate seeing frozen food just left on a shelf somewhere, too. If you don’t want it, go back to the freezer and return it there. It’s not that far. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/32 "2013-12-29T19:30:30Z")
Try to pay for your groceries in services or through barter. Offer to wash the cashiers car or walk their dog in exchange for a bag of oreos and a steak. Ask the front end manager which cashier is most likely to let me slide on a pack of cigarettes if I’m short on cash. ---
**Author:** ![Spaghettifrier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@Spaghettifrier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spaghettifrier)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/33 "2013-12-30T07:52:45Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > You’re smart. Yes, that is the reason produce has those little stickers on them. > > The problem is, people I’m always stuck behind in the self-checkout line #1) usually have no fucking clue what they’re doing at the self-checkout machine in general, #2) have not figured out that said stickers have the code printed on them, and #3) the lookup screens take forever to navigate through, and often the customers don’t even know what the fuck they’re trying to buy. If you’ve never had to wait behind one of these people, you’re _way_ luckier than I have ever been at the supermarket. I love your anger. What really gets my goat is people who go through the 20 items or less line with clearly more than 30, 40, 50+ items. I really do not know what the hell they think they are doing. And they get away with it unchallenged every time because the of course cashier is not gonna say anything. Then there’s the related situation where I am carrying one pepper, all the lines are completely loaded, and someone with a full heaping cart gets to the line entrance at the same time as me but with one foot forward and proceeds to be completely oblivious to my existence. My thought is, if you’re not in a hurry and you plan on taking your sweet time, be considerate of those around you. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/34 "2013-12-30T08:16:58Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > We had a thread called [Checkout items that don’t go well together](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=552050), which includes such delights as: I once purchased a bottle of sex lube and a whole cooked hot deli chicken because the morons I was with, who wanted these things, were too embarrassed to go up and buy them together. The trick is, when the cashier gives you a weird look, you just wink back and grin. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/35 "2013-12-30T13:49:06Z")
Semi related side rant to self checkout: I like to go to the big warehouse store later in the evening - smaller crowds. At my last visit I had a smaller pile, maybe 15 - 20 items. I rolled into a self checkout and began the process: swipe club card, begin swiping items and putting them on the belt. Then out of nowhere a manager, without asking me or saying a word, grabs a checkout gun and begins checking items and placing them right back in my cart. Now I come to a screeching halt because I can’t tell what he has priced and what still needs to be checked. I know he was trying to be helpful but he more than doubled my time as I had to stop everything, start scrolling through the list to see if anything got double punched, and make sure everything got paid for. The sad thing was there were open lines around me and nobody behind me. It didn’t help anyone. As I said I can’t be angry because I know he was trying to be helpful, however I think my ‘Whoa, wait a minute!’ response will be a lot quicker now. [/End Mini Rant] ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/36 "2013-12-30T15:00:45Z")
Take things off shelves and put them back in the same area, but on a different section or a different shelf; i.e. put the Frosted Flakes in with the Wheaties. When I do shelf clean-up, this drives me nuts. WHY can’t people put things back where they found them? Full your shopping cart with items, then leave it by another person’s unattended cart and take theirs. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/37 "2013-12-30T15:02:24Z")
A real life shenanigan happened as I was just about to get off work as a bag-boy. A frat pledge came up to me with the shopping list his bros had given him. He’d found all the (normal) stuff on the list except for one item. He asked where it was and I did a double take because I did not believe what I’d heard him say. So he showed me the list and there among the frozen pizzas and ramen noodles was written, “Clitoral Juice.” He had no idea and I wasn’t going to disillusion him when I could have some fun first. So I sent him to another employee to check with and while he was doing that I found the co-manager and told him that he’d enjoy helping the boy. Which he did, being of a like mind. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/38 "2013-12-30T15:17:23Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > We had a thread called [Checkout items that don’t go well together](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=552050), which includes such delights as: > > I remember a similar topic on Something Awful. Probably a [Comedy Goldmine](http://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/) thread summary, but I can’t find it. I don’t think it’s indexed by search engines, alas. It’s pretty funny if anyone is able to dig it up. I had a customer buy 2 tarps and 3 rolls of duct tape, them start looking at chefs knives while I was ringing him up.:dubious::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/39 "2013-12-30T15:28:12Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Oh I agree totally. I’m always getting on my wife’s case because she will decide she doesn’t want something and will just drop it somewhere and I tell her “That’s not where you found it!” And she works in retail! You’d think she’d know better. I’m glad to see you don’t actually condone the practice. And, I agree, your wife should know better. ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vegetable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Space\_Vegetable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vegetable)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277/40 "2013-12-30T16:27:31Z")
We’ve all seen the videos with Diet Coke and Mentos. But some folks at the grocery store may be unfamiliar with YouTube. A live demonstration would be a public service, really. > [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Don’t forget to have a handful of coupons, some expired, some for different stores on unavailable items… Then after everything is totalled and bagged, start digging in your purse for your checckbook. :mad: Then produce a lone ten dollar bill, and begin the unbuying process to get down below $10. Be sure to return products for which you’ve already used a coupon, and demand the coupon back. Ask fellow shoppers for advice on which items you should keep. Expound upon the effect of each item on your sensitive digestive system to anyone within earshot. (An ideal volume puts all registers in the store within earshot.) Then drop the $10 bill by accident, crawl around on the floor a bit, pocket it, get up and announce that it’s lost, and walk out. If the other customers will let you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grocery-store-shenanigans/677277.md?page=3)