# Groom taking brides' surname **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670 "2014-05-31T01:04:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/21 "2014-05-31T12:40:35Z")
Rock guitarist Jack Gillis took his wife Meg’s last name when they married. You might have heard of the band they started. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/22 "2014-05-31T12:47:32Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > An acquaintance of mine did this. His background was less than stellar and he thought ut would be a great opportunity to change it. So he is legally John Herlastname. But publicly they go by his last name. Yeah, I don’t get it either. What’s to get? I know at least one couple that hyphenated their names and both use it. Also, for all folks I know with same married name, I’ve never asked if the name was originally his or hers. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/23 "2014-05-31T13:06:32Z")
One of my friend’s dad did this, due to a particularly unfortunate last name. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/24 "2014-05-31T13:11:58Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > An acquaintance of mine did this. His background was less than stellar and he thought ut would be a great opportunity to change it. So he is legally John Herlastname. But publicly they go by his last name. Yeah, I don’t get it either. > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > What’s to get? :smack: My mistake- I misread your post as saying he went by Herlastname legally _and_ publicly. Need coffee… Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/25 "2014-05-31T13:22:06Z")
I’ve known a few couples who either both took the bride’s last name or combined their names into a new one. My husband and I both kept our own surnames. Our child shares my surname and uses his dad’s surname as a middle name. But before we married I joked that we should combine our names, like this (not our real names, but suitable for illustrative purposes): My surname: Glassberg His surname: Greenberg I proposed taking the first syllable of my surname, Glass, and the second syllable of his surname, berg, and mushing them together into “Glassberg” to use it as our married last name. He was not nearly as amused as I was by this idea. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/26 "2014-05-31T13:59:18Z")
I knew of a few Japanese guys who did it for the reason given above. It’s not common, but it’s not unheard of. ---
**Author:** ![svd678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@svd678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/svd678)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/27 "2014-05-31T15:47:42Z")
I knew a minister (elected to a position by majority) who had an unusual, ethnic name. Found much more acceptance when he used his wife’s Anglo name. Happened 75 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/28 "2014-05-31T16:03:59Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Rock guitarist Jack Gillis took his wife Meg’s last name when they married. You might have heard of the band they started. 🙂 Also heard of it before in this thread. 😉 > [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > Don’t know anyone personally, but have heard of celebrities (some mentioned already) like Jack White. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/29 "2014-05-31T16:56:56Z")
My father grew up with the unfortunate surname _Schmookler_. His older brother changed his last name, which infuriated my grandfather. My grandfather, according to family lore, had himself wanted to change his last name, but _his_ father had forbidden it. When my dad married my mom, she refused to take his name for obvious reasons. He gladly offered to take her last name, but she saw distancing herself from her family as a primary benefit of marrying my dad (despite the fact that her family liked my dad even more than she did!) They ended up choosing a new name, and to placate my grandfather (I have no idea if it worked) they chose my grandfather’s mother’s maiden name. They both kept it when they divorced, though my mom since remarried and took my stepfather’s surname. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/30 "2014-05-31T22:59:56Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I know a small handful of couples that adopted the bride’s surname. I know more who combined the two last names or created a whole new name for the new family. All of the couples I know who have done either of these things I know from the second college I attended, which surprises me because in general it was a far more conservative school than the first one. I do know that one of the couples chose to take the wife’s last name because the husband’s name, though spelled quite differently was a homophone for (of?) “whore.” One of the couples chose a family name from the groom’s mother’s family because his dad was apparently not a nice guy and they weren’t interested in perpetuating his name. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/31 "2014-05-31T23:14:46Z")
Personally, I think that a married couple should share the same name, and I also think that hyphenated names are ridiculous. So if I end up marrying a woman who wants to keep her last name, I’ll take it. Alternately, if she wants us both to create a new last name, that’s fine with me too. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/32 "2014-06-01T02:50:35Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > The Japanese call this yoshi. In Japan it is usually done to carry on a family name that would otherwise die out. Example: Prospective husband is the 2nd of two boys (& older brother has already married/reproduced). Prospective wife is one of 2 girls…so if she takes prospective husband’s surname, her family name will not continue. > > Solution: Yoshi. He takes her family name so it lives on My husband offered, and if we had been planning to have children, I might have considered it. At the time of our marriage, I was the only living person in the U.S. with my name, and his taking it would have added one more generation. Big deal. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/33 "2014-06-01T16:28:14Z")
I know a couple who hypenated her last name and his last name, both one syllable names that sound good together, like Smith-Jones. I know an couple where the husband took his wife’s surname because he didn’t like his = Mr. and Mrs. HerLastName. When they divorced, he kept the now ex-wife’s surname, remarried, did not tell current wife about where his last name came from, and they are now Mr. and Mrs. Ex-wife’sLastName. For some reason, I find this very funny. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/34 "2014-06-01T16:42:31Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Personally, I think that a married couple should share the same name, and I also think that hyphenated names are ridiculous. So if I end up marrying a woman who wants to keep her last name, I’ll take it. Alternately, if she wants us both to create a new last name, that’s fine with me too. I’m the opposite. I don’t understand why getting married should change your name. It’s not a big deal to me, and I’m fine with anyone changing their name for any reason they want. I do not, however, understand the desire to keep the family name from dying out. I can’t imagine caring about that. And if you did care, just give your kids their mothers last name. ---
**Author:** ![Sehmket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Sehmket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sehmket)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/35 "2014-06-02T01:42:54Z")
I have a friend who changed his name to his mom’s last name, after his father was prosecuted for some, uh, sordid crimes. His father had been out of his life for many, many years at that point, anyway, and he wanted to cut off all ties. I know two folks who took the name of their wives because the wives had children with their own last name. In both cases, the move was to show these children that they were creating a family and they were all together as a team and such. The second was a former co-worker, and the response amongst my co-workers was frankly rather shocking. As a live-and-let-live type, I was dumbfounded by the way a number of my male co-workers reacted to it… “emasculating” was the word of the day (This wasn’t a popular guy, he was actually kind of a creeper, which didn’t help). Frankly, I saw a side of some folks that I wish I hadn’t. For myself, it was a struggle to decide what to do about my name. My name is terribly annoying to spell and pronounce, but I’m very attached to it, and our family had that annoying thing where the family name would be dying out without some of the girls passing it on. I eventually decided to change my name, because I felt it would be nice for us all to have the same name when we had kids and he had no interest in changing his name. Six years later… no kids, no husband, and back to the first name. Hm. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/36 "2014-06-02T01:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **Procrustus** : > > I’m the opposite. I don’t understand why getting married should change your name. You’re going to be a unit, and that unit needs a name. People say things like “We’re visiting the Smiths”, or “I’ve invited the Johnsons over for dinner”. OK, when it’s just a family of two, people might be able to just say “Bob and Mary”, or whatever, but that gets unwieldy fast once you start having kids. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/37 "2014-06-02T02:06:34Z")
When we married my wife took on my last surname and added it to her’s but we don’t hyphenate. Our children are the same; me: \ \ \ her: \ \ \ \ kids: \ \ \ \ So her family name is on the kids birth certificate etc, but for all practical things they go by \ \ \. She wanted to do it that way as she is the last kid in her family and her family name (old Welsh as I understand it) would otherwise stop with her. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/38 "2014-06-02T02:14:50Z")
> [@installLSC](#): > > At work this week, someone mentioned their friend had adopted his brides’ surname when they got married. Apparently, he really hated his birth name and thought hers would be better. Do you know anyone who’s done this, and why? For that matter, ever know a newlywed couple that adopted a surname totally unrelated to either’s pre marriage surname? While I was stationed in Japan, one of the American Sailors on our base married a Japanese woman. I don’t know if the marriage laws have changed since then, but at that time, the law required _either_ the bride to take the groom’s surname as hers _or_ for the groom to take the bride’s surname as his. The aforementioned Sailor took his bride’s surname. The reason was that she had no brothers, her father had no brothers or sisters, and the father wanted “his name to continue to the next generation”. Oh, and the Sailor wasn’t all that fond of his his original surname in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/39 "2014-06-02T02:21:30Z")
> [@installLSC](#): > > At work this week, someone mentioned their friend had adopted his brides’ surname when they got married. Only one surname? Must be sisters. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670/40 "2014-06-02T15:39:58Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I don’t understand why getting married should change your name. I used to think that way. I swore that if I ever got married I’d be keeping my maiden name or maybe hyphenating. But then I actually did get married - in my absolute dream wedding - and all my husband asked was that I take his last name. I figured that for all he does for me and how much he adores me I can at least do that. To answer the OP: I worked for a couple many years ago who hyphenated both their last names when they got married. As in, Mary Jones married John Smith so she became Mary Smith-Jones and he became John Smith-Jones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/groom-taking-brides-surname/689670.md?page=3)