# Gross abuses of the English language **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991 "2003-05-13T17:11:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mallocks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@mallocks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallocks)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/41 "2003-05-14T13:47:12Z")
ah, I knew all but the **nonplussed** one, but if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I’ve ever typed the word 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/42 "2003-05-14T15:12:25Z")
I was reminded of this one by today’s comics page: **miss not** “I miss not having a car.” No. Unless you currently HAVE a car, and you miss the blissful state of having to walk or bum rides, you MISS HAVING a car. You used to HAVE a car (but not anymore), and you MISS it. Think about it, people. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/43 "2003-05-14T15:14:28Z")
Which comic? ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/44 "2003-05-14T15:30:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jovan \* > People, it’s spelled commun **est** , dammit. Just like capital **est** and, uh, thi **est** , yeah, that’s right, thi **est**. Please tell me this is a joke. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/45 "2003-05-14T15:34:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Floater \* > \*\*Please tell me this is a joke. \*\* [obscure humor] Maybe he’s a disciple of Werner Erhard… [/obscure humor] Barry ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/46 "2003-05-14T15:43:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by godzillatemple \* > **[obscure humor] > Maybe he’s a disciple of Werner Erhard… > [/obscure humor]** Nah, if he were he’d say “communTheForum, capitalTheForum,” etc. Speaking of which, why don’t people acknowledge the existence of subjunctivity? I admit, I don’t understand it as well as I’d like, but at least I can say “If I were to understand it, I’d be happy” instead of “If I was…” It’s a conditional phrase, leading to different conjugation. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/47 "2003-05-14T16:03:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Which comic? \*\* That would be [_Shoe._](http://macnelly.com/shoefolder/shoe_archive.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/48 "2003-05-14T16:06:52Z")
> [@](#): > > “They’re the same, for all intensive purposes.” Mistakes like those make me crazy. “Should of” sucks. George Carlin covered it, but “near miss” is fucking stupid. Scarlett, are you sure that “I miss the time when I didn’t have a car” wasn’t the intent of the phrase? Sounds like a joke to me. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/49 "2003-05-14T16:07:18Z")
Hmm… I guess it’s remotely possible the speaker _does_ currently have a husband and misses not having one… although the rest of the strip indicates otherwise. For shame, MacNelly, for shame! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/50 "2003-05-14T16:20:02Z")
“Should of” reminds me of another (or maybe it was the est references) – people who want to try and do something. No, you want to try to do something. If you try and do something, you succeed in doing it. ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/51 "2003-05-14T16:41:51Z")
“Could care less” is (allegedly) sarcastic and thus meaningful. [(see Quinion)](http://www.quinion.com/words/qa/qa-ico1.htm). Now “cheap at half the price”, that’s stupid. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/52 "2003-05-14T17:07:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by refusal \* > \*\*“Could care less” is (allegedly) sarcastic and thus meaningful. [(see Quinion)](http://www.quinion.com/words/qa/qa-ico1.htm). > > Now “cheap at half the price”, that’s stupid. \*\* “Allegedly” is the key word here. As stated in the article cited above: > [@](#): > > Taken literally, if one could care less, then one must care at least a little, which is obviously the opposite of what is meant. It is so clearly logical nonsense that to condemn it for being so (as some commentators have done) misses the point. The intent is obviously sarcastic—the speaker is really saying, “As if there was something in the world that I care less about”. I think the writer is being way too charitable when he assumes that the wrongly used phrase is “clearly logical nonsense” and that “the intent is obviously sarcastic.” Every single time I have corrected somebody on their use of the phrase, they insist that their version (“could care less”) is the correct one, and that it is how they have always heard it spoken. Not once has somebody informed me that they are using it in an ironic sense. I do realize that it _could_ be used ironically (and it probably was used that way originally), and that is why I started off my post by saying that anybody who purposely warps the English language for the sake of irony can just go ahead and skip this thread. As for “cheap at half the price,” I’ve always taken a bit of pleasure in using that phrase as a coded insult when describing a merchant’s wares, knowing full well that he will probably not get the joke and think I am complimenting him. Once again, the mangled phrase has been used so often that too many people now use it in place of the original “cheap at twice the price,” thinking it means the same thing. Barry ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/53 "2003-05-14T17:15:46Z")
Come to think of it, the word “obvious” - which crops up in sports circles very, very, frequently - is just icky. If something’s obvious, you don’t need to mention it; if it’s not obvious, don’t classify it as such. This doesn’t mean nothing is ever obvious; I just wish people wouldn’t overuse it. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/54 "2003-05-14T17:25:16Z")
I suppose I could add “needless to say” and “not to mention” to the list of gross abuses, although I don’t think people will EVER stop using those phrases and then immediately stating exactly what supposedly doesn’t need to be said. Sometimes, just to confuse people, I will say “not to mention…” When asked “not to mention what?” I respond, “If I wanted to mention it, I wouldn’t have said ‘not to mention.’” And yes, I _do_ get a lot of strange looks from people I talk to, why do you ask? 😉 Barry ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/55 "2003-05-14T17:29:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*Scarlett, are you sure that “I miss the time when I didn’t have a car” wasn’t the intent of the phrase? Sounds like a joke to me. \*\* That was an example I made up, based on the common misuse. People say “I miss not X” when they CLEARLY mean that they miss X. I have NEVER heard “I miss not X” used to mean “I miss not X,” even as a joke. “I miss not living in the country. I liked the solitude, being surrounded by nature, having lots of space, not feeling crowded in, etc.” WRONG. You MISS LIVING in the country. It’s a very common error and I hear it quite frequently. People who say this also seem very likely to say they are **unthawing** some chicken. Unless the chicken is already thawed and they’re freezing it again, this is also wrong wrong wrong. **dantheman,** I think we’ll have to blane Chris Cassatt for that one – MacNelly’s dead! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/56 "2003-05-14T17:33:44Z")
Yeah, but the strip still carries his name … I’ve frequently heard “I miss not” when “I miss not” is indeed meant, though. ---
**Author:** ![MegaDave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/db5fbb/32.png) [@MegaDave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaDave)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/57 "2003-05-14T17:37:58Z")
One of the more bothersome terms to my ears has been used mostly in commercials or other adverts. {dumbass announcer)“Now save MORE than half off”. Actual savings percentage usually 49% or sometimes 50% but almost never 51% or more. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/58 "2003-05-14T18:04:21Z")
I’ve encountered a number of people who think that dethaw is a word. As in, “I need to dethaw the steak from the freezer for dinner tonight.” No actually you need to thaw it. Dethaw-ing something, I suppose, would involve freezing it. Then there was my idiot coworker who used “pacific” when she meant “specific”. That’s less common though not unheard of. I think I mentioned this in another thread just recently, too, but I really get bothered by people who over-use the word “utilize”. Most of the time, “use” would be just as good, but it sounds more technical to “utilize” something I guess. How 'bout I “utilize” my foot up yer arse? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/59 "2003-05-14T18:08:55Z")
“I could care less” may not be used with intentional irony, but I feel sure it started off as an ironic phrase, similar to, “I could give two shits what you think about my use of sarcastic cliches.” Like many idioms (idia?), most speakers know the meaning of the phrase without ever having parsed the phrase’s individual words. And the substitution of “like” for “say” is a brilliant addition to the language. “I was like, ‘What the hell’s wrong with you?’” means something closer to, “I said something along the lines of, ‘What the hell’s wrong with you?’” than, “I said, ‘What the hell’s wrong with you?’” It implies that the following quote is not verbatim, but rather may be a paraphrase. The worst abuse of the English language, IMO, is attempting to enclose it within spiky cast-iron fencing. The language is alive and breathing, a magnificent protoplasmic entity that defies any attempt to categorize and contain it. Objecting to new words is at best useless and at worst destructive to the language. That said, I’m a hypocrite. Words who add nothing beyond pretension to the language, including a lot of modern businessspeak, are odious. Talk about “envisioning strategic processes” and the like pisses me off. In general, however, the correct approach to neologisms, I think, is to treat them with utmost charity and optimism. Watch them, listen to them, roll them around on your tongue. Search for the nuances, the connotations, the allusions they carry that distinguish them from paleologisms. Only discard them if they truly bring nothing new to the language. Such discards should be rare. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Boldface\_Type](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@Boldface\_Type](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boldface_Type)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991/60 "2003-05-14T19:10:42Z")
Once upon a time, I was marking an (undergrad psych) essay which was replete with the phrase ‘rest bite care’… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gross-abuses-of-the-english-language/174991.md?page=4)