My doctor warned me, if I have to get referred to an ENT, they do use a suction instead of a lavage. I guess the regular GP isn’t qualified or licensed to jam a vacuum up against your ear.
One day about 12-13 years ago I was sitting at my desk when I noticed a fierce itch in my left ear. I grabbed a pen cap* and, with the “leg” end, proceeded to fish around in there until I got relief.
When I pulled the cap out I noticed a solid black chunk of earwax the size of a pea. :eek:
*Yes, I know you’re not supposed to do that.
Good heavens, it’s a wonder we’re not all half deaf!
WHAT?
(sorry, I had to!)
I had that vacuum business a long time ago. I’d forgotten about it until this thead. Thanks!
A former boss had some tiny flying bug fly into her ear. She said every time it hit her eardrum was agony. She drove herself to the ER and said the 4 mile drive trying to keep her head perfectly still was the longest drive of her life.
My sister had some ear symptoms that really bothered her, but baffled her because they were intermitent. After a couple of days she went to the doctor and discovered that the source of the problem was little bits of cut hair from her haircut earlier in the week.
My ear lobe got infected once. It swelled up maybe a little larger than one of those rubber bouncy balls and even spread to my face. The doctor was impressed and said he had never seen anything like it. 
I guess getting that particular part of your body infected is kind of rare. Looking back, it was probably because I had popped an annoying pimple from that same lobe.
Dammit…my ear is back to hurting again.
I hope the gunk they took out to culture turns up something.
When my nephew was little he used to get a lot of ear infections. Once I noticed he had a smell, not the normal toddler odour.
He reached up to his ear and proceeded to tug out a large, gloopy strand of pussy wax. it looked like a huge booger.
He smelled better after…
You know, we get the “Don’t put anything in your ears” speech from my sister in law, also an audiologist.
For at least 20 years, I have dried out my ears after every shower with a Q-tip. The doctor is always impressed that I have the cleanest, nicest ears she’s ever seen… no threads hanging out in these ears!
We don’t tell the sister in law either of the above… just nod and smile.
Should one enquire at to 1/ what exactly that is and 2/ how exactly it got from there to here ? Or would one regret same?
The meaning was “pus-laden” rather than… that.
I was woken up once by an earwig crawling into my ear. (And woken up pretty damn fast, I can tell you.)
Fortunately it came out easily enough. I switched on the light just in time to see it crawling off my pillow. :eek:
Here’s an ear wax thread I started earlier in the year. It has pictures!
As a former ER nurse, I can tell you that this is NOT an urban legend, although they were usually dead by the time we pulled them out of the patient’s ear. I can also tell you that if it ever happens to me I will probably stab myself in ear with an icepick trying to kill the bug. The thought of a roach in my ear gives me major heebie jeebies.
Saw this in a movie once, about men trying to find the source for the Nile I think.
Or, for a better example, Star Trek Wrath of Khan.
(Must be Friday, I am in a cheeky mood.)
Mountains of the Moon
I’ve done the same thing, with no problems for the last 25 years. I also hate having cold, wet ears, and I MUST clean my ears after a shower. Just to be safe, I slightly dampen the q-tip, and am very careful when first inserting the q-tip so it’s not sliding against my canal as it goes in. I get my ears and hearing inspected every year, and have never had a complaint or problem. On the other hand, I think I’m very lucky in that I don’t produce much earwax, and what I do produce is small and flaky.
Askance, I reacted exactly like you to the pussy wax.
When my brother was not quite two (so he knew a couple dozen words, maybe), he’d been playing in the yard, then came running to my mother yelling “buh-fly! buh-fly!” (He used “butterfly” for all bugs.) He was fussy and difficult for a couple of days, and kept holding his ear, so she figured he had an infection and took him to the doctor.
His ear was filled with wax, so the doctor started digging it out. When he did, he discovered a whole, dead bee, which had flown in, stung my brother’s eardrum, and died.
I cannot imagine how painful that must have been.
My other story is not nearly so alarming, but is fairly high on the gross scale - a couple days after my toddler had ear tubes put in, I got a call from daycare. “We just wanted to let you know that H has lime green snot coming out of his ear. Should we be concerned?” (We used the antibiotic ear drops they had given us after his surgery for a few days, and it cleared up. No problems since, knock wood, but it’s only been a couple of months.)
Some cats love earwax. I mean, really really love earwax.