# Grover Norquist is an ass... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056 "2006-11-11T23:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/1 "2006-11-11T23:30:20Z")
There’s an article in Financial Times titled [Rove off the hook as party blames Iraq](http://www.ft.com/cms/s/557516aa-704a-11db-9da6-0000779e2340,dwp_uuid=4d699944-2ca8-11db-9845-0000779e2340.html). Most of it is the new standard of blaming Iraq for the losses by Republicans last Tuesday. But there’s a very special quote in the last paragraph of the article, by Grover “Drown It In The Bathtub” Norquist: > [@](#): > > “Bob Sherwood’s seat [in Pennsylvania] would have been overwhelmingly ours, if his mistress hadn’t whined about being throttled,” said Mr Norquist. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/2 "2006-11-11T23:59:38Z")
In other news: Pope Benedict discovered to be Catholic; Sofia Loren suspected of being a woman; Generalissimo Franco is still dead. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/3 "2006-11-12T02:10:10Z")
Well, in the mistresses defense, it’s hard to whine _while_ you are being throttled, what with the restriction of oxygen and all that. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/4 "2006-11-12T03:40:21Z")
Wow. Just wow. Do idjits like that ever actually listen to what comes out of their mouths? ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/5 "2006-11-12T03:40:29Z")
Part of me still has to pity him. I mean, come on-- he started out life with the major handicap of being named “Grover.” Think of all of the taunts he must have gotten back in elementary school. And then being an idiot on top of it? Man-- life’s been nothing but an uphill battle for him. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/6 "2006-11-12T03:58:25Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] :dubious: [/QUOTE] It’s not _quite_ so bad when you include the whole quote: > [@](#): > > “Bob Sherwood’s seat [in Pennsylvania] would have been overwhelmingly ours, if his mistress hadn’t whined about being throttled,” said Mr Norquist. Any lessons from the campaign? “Yes. The lesson should be, don’t throttle mistresses.” While it’s disturbing that Mr Norquist needed to be taught that throttling mistresses is a bad thing, he at least seems to have _learned_ that lesson. With luck this was just an oversight on the part of his parents, and he’s learned all the other important things a man should know. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/7 "2006-11-12T05:26:45Z")
Apparently, the only reason for not throttling one’s spouse is that it might harm one’s political prospects should one fail in the attempt to induce one’s spouse to remain silent. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/8 "2006-11-12T06:59:01Z")
Oh, _man_, not throttling mistresses was hard enough for him to learn. Now you have to add stuff about not throttling a spouse, too? You’re gonna make the poor guy sprain a synapse. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/9 "2006-11-12T18:02:54Z")
[QUOTE=zagloba] Apparently, the only reason for not throttling one’s spouse is that it might harm one’s political prospects should one fail in the attempt to induce one’s spouse to remain silent. [/QUOTE] The lesson there is, if you’re going to throttle your partner, you need to go all the way. Corpses may present an awkward problem but at least they don’t go and open their big mouths about private business. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/10 "2006-11-12T18:03:56Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] The lesson there is, if you’re going to throttle your partner, you need to go all the way. Corpses may present an awkward problem but at least they don’t go and open their big mouths about private business. [/QUOTE] If you do it right, they don’t cost you half a mil in hush money, either. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/11 "2006-11-12T18:21:34Z")
But doesn’t waking up next to a dead girl (or a live boy) cause even more problems? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/12 "2006-11-12T18:25:46Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] But doesn’t waking up next to a dead girl (or a live boy) cause even more problems? [/QUOTE] Only if someone else sees it. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/13 "2006-11-12T19:27:12Z")
Personally the problem I have here is refering to a woman objecting to being beaten as “whining”. Great, he doesn’t think mistresses should be beaten, he still an ass. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/14 "2006-11-13T07:38:29Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] Part of me still has to pity him. I mean, come on-- he started out life with the major handicap of being named “Grover.” Think of all of the taunts he must have gotten back in elementary school. And then being an idiot on top of it? Man-- life’s been nothing but an uphill battle for him. [/QUOTE] Hey! Hey! What’sa matter? can’t win two consecutive terms, can you? Are you going to go cry to mommy because you can’t win two consecutive terms in office? That’s right, go cry to mommy. Any real politician wins his two presidential terms consecutively, what’s wrong with you? Taking a vacation? Stress get too bad? that’s too bad you little baby. Must’ve been brutal. ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/15 "2006-11-13T14:41:07Z")
That guy was on C-Span’s American Journal this week, eating a big shit sandwich and selling the notion of how being a true patriot means you plot the total destruction of the government. I have long felt that the best place for that guy is some nice, quiet, federal, pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Here’s hoping I get my wish, someday. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/16 "2006-11-13T21:02:53Z")
[QUOTE=Taber] Hey! Hey! What’sa matter? can’t win two consecutive terms, can you? Are you going to go cry to mommy because you can’t win two consecutive terms in office? That’s right, go cry to mommy. Any real politician wins his two presidential terms consecutively, what’s wrong with you? Taking a vacation? Stress get too bad? that’s too bad you little baby. Must’ve been brutal. [/QUOTE] Ma, Ma Who’s my Pa? His name is Grover Yah, yah yah. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/17 "2006-11-14T14:01:07Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Only if someone else sees it. [/QUOTE] Look, I espouse a principle of trying to avoid arguing with the experts on a subject, but still: I remain **very** skeptical you ever woke up next to a dead girl! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/18 "2006-11-14T14:08:09Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] Ma, Ma Who’s my Pa? His name is Grover Yah, yah yah. [/QUOTE] As I understand it, the actual text of the time was: Ma, ma, where’s my Pa? Gone to the White House, ha, ha, ha! The election of 1884 was memorable for slogans that have stood the test of time – who remembers what Charles Evans Hughes used in 1916 or Dewey in 1944? But the losing ticket (the only Republican candidate between 1860 and 1915 who **never** won the Presidency) matched the putdown of Mr. Cleveland with this rousing ditty: The trumpet sounds the blast again And this shall be our slogan: Hooray for James G. Blaine of Maine And honest John A. Logan. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/19 "2006-11-14T15:48:11Z")
[QUOTE=Polycarp] The trumpet sounds the blast again And this shall be our slogan: Hooray for James G. Blaine of Maine And honest John A. Logan. [/QUOTE] Heh. Given that Blaine was widely considered to be in graft up to his armpits (Thomas Nast labelled him “The Tattooed Man” in a cartoon that had him emblazoned with all of the corrupt deals he had been a part of), I find it amusing that they make sure to apply the “honest” label to his Vice-Presidential candidate. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grover-norquist-is-an-ass/380056/20 "2006-11-14T17:50:11Z")
[QUOTE=John Corrado] Heh. Given that Blaine was widely considered to be in graft up to his armpits (Thomas Nast labelled him “The Tattooed Man” in a cartoon that had him emblazoned with all of the corrupt deals he had been a part of), I find it amusing that they make sure to apply the “honest” label to his Vice-Presidential candidate. [/QUOTE] It’s called “balancing the ticket”!! 😃