# Grow alien plants **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 2, 2017, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795 "2017-02-02T02:05:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/1 "2017-02-02T02:05:05Z")
OK, so I just terminated a torrid affair with a sentient being from Arcturus. As a parting gift, it [he\she doesn’t apply] left a cut bouquet of what is best described as iridescent roses. They are not native to this solar system. How do I make the flower species grow on Earth? Who would be my best bet to figure out how to get them to propagate? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/2 "2017-02-02T02:26:27Z")
Oooooooh shit. You fucked ET… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/3 "2017-02-02T02:36:57Z")
The flowers are most likely Arcturan, and hence have the same basic biochemistry as your lover. So you’ll have to start by telling us what it was like? Was it water-based? Did it eat any Earthly foods, and if so, which ones? If not Earthly foods, did it eat any of its own foods? What were they like? ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/4 "2017-02-02T02:59:50Z")
“Feed me, seymore!” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/5 "2017-02-02T07:27:44Z")
If the flowers were Earth roses, and all you had was the cut stems, you’ve got at least a couple of options: Semi-ripe stem cuttings - basically cut a bit of stem and put it in some sterile soil and keep it warm and moist until it grows its own root system and can function as an independent plant. Micropropagation - same thing, really, but with a much smaller piece of the stem, placed on a growth medium such as agar gel in a petri dish - if you do everything right, it grows into a tiny plant which can then be uprooted (along with a little chunk of gel) and carefully introduced to normal potting conditions. However, these aren’t Earth roses, so we can’t be super-sure that they share anything more than a very superficial similarity - at a biochemical and micrscopic level, they may be completely dissimilar to Terran vascular plants - so they may not respond to any of the same techniques. But you’ve got a whole bunch to play with, and nothing but the whole world to lose, so I would probably go the micropropagation route, on a very wide range of different culture media. It will probably help at this point to expose some samples to different varieties of radiation, rapidly cycling coloured lights and certainly some beeping noises. Leave your samples carelessly unattended on a lab bench for the afternoon and check back at midnight. If one of the petri dishes is found smashed on the floor, you have succeeded. Make sure you don’t bother to turn on the lights in the lab when you follow the glowing slime-trails to try to find your new plant. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/6 "2017-02-02T13:43:09Z")
We [already have](http://www.biodiverseed.com/post/108701821073/behold-a-genetically-modified-rose-after) an Arcturan rose. :eek::eek::smack::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/7 "2017-02-02T19:37:50Z")
1. Transplant some 2. Let some go to seed and plant them 3. Swallow some One of them is bound to take root… ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/8 "2017-02-02T20:38:35Z")
Plant 'em in the trunk of a Buick 8. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/9 "2017-02-03T02:14:06Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If the flowers were Earth roses, and all you had was the cut stems, you’ve got at least a couple of options: > > Semi-ripe stem cuttings - basically cut a bit of stem and put it in some sterile soil and keep it warm and moist until it grows its own root system and can function as an independent plant. > > Micropropagation - same thing, really, but with a much smaller piece of the stem, placed on a growth medium such as agar gel in a petri dish - if you do everything right, it grows into a tiny plant which can then be uprooted (along with a little chunk of gel) and carefully introduced to normal potting conditions. > > However, these aren’t Earth roses, so we can’t be super-sure that they share anything more than a very superficial similarity - at a biochemical and micrscopic level, they may be completely dissimilar to Terran vascular plants - so they may not respond to any of the same techniques. > > But you’ve got a whole bunch to play with, and nothing but the whole world to lose, so I would probably go the micropropagation route, on a very wide range of different culture media. It will probably help at this point to expose some samples to different varieties of radiation, rapidly cycling coloured lights and certainly some beeping noises. > > Leave your samples carelessly unattended on a lab bench for the afternoon and check back at midnight. If one of the petri dishes is found smashed on the floor, you have succeeded. Make sure you don’t bother to turn on the lights in the lab when you follow the glowing slime-trails to try to find your new plant. To be brief, find a bio-chemist and throw everything we can think of at them? ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/10 "2017-02-03T02:18:00Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The flowers are most likely Arcturan, and hence have the same basic biochemistry as your lover. So you’ll have to start by telling us what it was like? Was it water-based? Did it eat any Earthly foods, and if so, which ones? If not Earthly foods, did it eat any of its own foods? What were they like? You’re presuming it brought them “from home” as opposed to any of the other star systems the species has visited or at least been introduced to via galactic trading. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/11 "2017-02-03T11:50:00Z")
> [@PoppaSan](#): > > To be brief, find a bio-chemist and throw everything we can think of at them? A team of biochemists and probably some other sciency types too - it won’t hurt to round out the team with people familiar with Terran zoology, chemistry (outside of the context of carbon-based Earthly life, or outside of biology at all), maybe physicists, and experts in electronics, engineering, as well as some generalists who can ask dumb questions that actually turn out to move the focus of investigation in a new and productive direction. We don’t know what we’re dealing with, so it’s a good idea to spread the bases as broad as possible. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2017, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/12 "2017-02-03T13:04:15Z")
I’m not sure you have to do anything special to grow alien plants. After all, according to John Keats’ _Ode to a Nightingale_, the Biblical figure of Ruth was surrounded by such plants: > [@](#): > > Perhaps the self-same song that found a path > Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home, > She stood in tears amid the alien corn ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2017, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/13 "2017-02-05T03:03:41Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I’m not sure you have to do anything special to grow alien plants. > After all, according to John Keats’ _Ode to a Nightingale_, the Biblical figure of Ruth was surrounded by such plants: Ruth was an immigrant to the land where she was gleaning the field of corn. Thus they were alien to her. Probably not though as she moved to a neighboring area, not like she followed her M-I-L from Siam to Gaul. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/14 "2017-02-06T16:37:27Z")
FWIW, **Cal** , I chuckled. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2017, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-alien-plants/778795/15 "2017-02-06T19:19:42Z")
> [@PoppaSan](#): > > Ruth was an immigrant to the land where she was gleaning the field of corn. Thus they were alien to her. Probably not though as she moved to a neighboring area, not like she followed her M-I-L from Siam to Gaul. And the swift Missile of Wit hit and struck the dull-sided Bell of Literal Truth, and rebounded without making a sound, or an impression.