# Grow the fuck up.  Right now.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-the-fuck-up-right-now/80989>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [September 12, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-the-fuck-up-right-now/80989 "2001-09-12T02:38:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 3

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-the-fuck-up-right-now/80989/41 "2001-09-13T02:51:07Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Eonwe \*  
> \*\*Not to excuse jerks who don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves but…
> 
> I have often not been as moved to immobility as many of the people around me.
> 
> When the kids were killed in Columbine, my roommate and his girlfriend were glued to the TV the entire day. They recorded the bits when they had to leave, so they could watch that portion of the coverage later. I had no interest in watching the news. I heard what had happened; I knew that some kids opened fire in a public school, and more than 5 and less than 50 people had died.
> 
> Yes I felt bad. No, it didn’t particularly affect my day. A friend of mine wanted to know “what was wrong” with me, that I didn’t care to follow the story. It was too bad that it happened, I felt bad for the people involved, but it was just one of those “things that happen, hopefully it doesn’t happen to me.”
> 
> \*\*

I think Combine was different. It was more “real” to people who were close to kids that age(family and friends), were kids in high school or middle school themselves, or were/going to be educators. Everyone I knew was upset by it, but the most devestated people I knew were those, like myself, who were completing their coursework in teaching degrees. On top of feeling sorrow, it’s scary when you think “this could happen to me or someone I know,” like it probably wouldn’t be if you didn’t know anyone in potential danger. Therein lies the difference. Terrorist acts aren’t neatly confined to a certain demographic of victim, and they could potentially happen in thousands of places across the US. The sense of “this could happen…” is much greater when there is no single most likely place it could happen.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-the-fuck-up-right-now/80989/42 "2001-09-13T15:08:53Z")

</div>

**Elfkin477** ,  
I definitely hear what you are saying, but I think the difference in thinking between those who _seem_ very disturbed and frightened by such tragic events and those who don’t _seem_ as bothered (or at least the difference between me and people who typically get very upset over events like this) is that the “it could have happened to me/loved one/friend” argument doesn’t hold water.

There are many things that happen all over the world all the time. At any given time, most things are not happening to me. I still have friends in high school. They did not go to school in Columbine, though. A tragic event, but not one that directly affected me. To say, “it could have happened in your hometown” is true, but it didn’t. I (and most people, I would assume) always am worried for the people I love, but the fact that people died in a school in Columbine yesterday does not make today any more dangerous for people in a school somewhere else today. In fact, it doesn’t even mean that Columbine is more dangerous the day following than the day before.

Likewise, it is not any more dangerous to fly on an airplane today than it was a week ago. I do not fear for my safety any more now than before; there is always an element of “danger,” or something like that, in life. And the fact that other people fall victim to it will not make me live any differently.

Again, I do _not_ mean in any way to trivialize or deminish people’s mourning, pain, suffering, or whatever else anyone is feeling. I have quite strong emotions that I also am dealing with. I just refuse to let fear be one of them.

(sorry for the somewhat rambling nature of that post. I realise that I didn’t quite end up saying what I started saying.)

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grow-the-fuck-up-right-now/80989.md?page=2)