# Grown adult neighbour bullying me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 6, 2018, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876 "2018-09-06T13:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/41 "2018-09-06T19:46:41Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > And what exactly “should” be done about a neighbor’s friendly dog wanting to be petted? Do you start with a heavy fine or go straight to killing it? What **should** be done is that the dog that is running up to and jumping on people should be kept in either a fenced yard or on a leash. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/42 "2018-09-06T20:02:56Z")
If you seriously are phobic of dogs, then unfortunately your description of the events can’t be taken at face value. That introduces a problem. At the same time, these neighbours are not good people, and you are not going to be able to make them be good no matter what you do. If it comes to a fight, you are without doubt going to lose. So you need a strategy that doesn’t involve a fight. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/43 "2018-09-06T20:22:35Z")
Whether or not you are afraid of dogs doesn’t make any difference. All dogs must be under control at all times, so they don’t run up to/charge/approach aggressively/approach playfully anyone. This is 100% on the owner - “he’s just being friendly” is not a good enough excuse. Leet the Wonder Dog[sup]TM[/sup] is either in my fenced-in yard or in the house. When we leave the house, for Nice Walks he is leashed and under control at all times. When we go to the off-leash dog park, he wears his muzzle so he knows not to Start No Shit with the other dogs, and especially so he cannot bite anyone even if he wanted to. Regards, Shodan Dog Owner, Dog Lover, Dog Realist ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/44 "2018-09-06T20:45:37Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > I know the reaction to that statement will be “well that’s dumb, the dog will just attack then” but if the dog is indeed doing the jumping joyfully/playfully then it won’t attack because it’s not being aggressive at the time. Doing that won’t make it aggressive either. You’re asking people who lack familiarity with dogs (i.e. non-owners) to quickly assess whether a dog has playful or malicious intent as it charges toward them. In fact, you’re asking these people to actually wait until the dog has closed the gap, and _then_ determine whether the dog is engaging in behavior that is truly dangerous, or just rambunctious. That’s a tall order, and I certainly would not fault someone for using pepper spray to repel such an animal - although I would suggest keeping some in reserve in case the dog’s owner subsequently chooses to approach with malicious intent. Any use of force to repel an animal like that should be immediately followed up with a retreat to safe quarters - to avoid further contact with the dog, and also to preclude contact with a potentially hostile owner. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Report it. Keep a log of further incidents. This. Assuming there or ordinances where the OP lives that require a dog to be restrained (either by a leash or a fence), and the owner has already indicated that they give zero fucks, the OP should contact the police (or animal control) and let them know what happened, and let them know every time in the future that the dog is observed to be in violation of local ordinances. The OP should also keep his/her own log of these incidents, as well as each instance of contact with the police/animal control. If the owners engage in any kind of retaliatory behavior, this should also be documented. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/45 "2018-09-06T21:07:37Z")
I still say report it. So it’s on the books. If that dog attacks and mauls a person knowing his past will help in determining punishment later on. I had a bad dog bite a few months ago from a dog who wandered on to our property. I am not afraid of dogs and I stupidly put my hands on him trying to read his tags. The worst part of the whole thing was dealing with the ignorant owner. It’s amazing how stupid some folks can be. There I was, big bandage, in pain and the man was arguing that the snarling dog, he could barely hold, wasn’t to blame, right in front of a sheriff’s deputy. I didn’t want to press charges. I was persuaded by clearer heads than mine. Owner paid a fine and my medical bill. The dog has been loose again and the owner was visited by LE again. It is such a bad problem that responsible dog keepers have to pay the price. There is no real way to combat the issue except leash laws and fines for repeat offenders. It’s not enough. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/46 "2018-09-06T21:23:06Z")
Bullies and rudeness is Canada? Inconceivable! ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/47 "2018-09-06T21:28:29Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Bullies and rudeness is Canada? Inconceivable! Well, after laughing “ha ha ha ha ha ha” at OP’s misfortune, the dog owner did laugh again “hon hon hon hon hon hon” in case OP was a French speaker. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/48 "2018-09-07T00:16:04Z")
> [@senoy](#): > > As a country boy, the proper way to respond is “You can either leash your dog today or bury it tomorrow. Fine for shooting a dog is 300 dollars and I got that in change. Now we’ve been neighbors for a piece now and we’ve not had any troubles. I’d hate for something dumb like a dog that can’t stay on his porch be the cause of us having bad blood. Y’all know what the problem is and y’all know how to fix it. I reckon this is the last time we need to talk about this.” This. Alternatively, there’s the Three S’s: [INDENT]1) Shoot; 2) Shovel; 3) Shut up [/INDENT] ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/49 "2018-09-07T00:20:14Z")
By the op’s description there was a puppy that ran up to him or her for a little affection and that generated a lecture to the dog owner. I’m not much of a dog person because I don’t like barking but that gets a :rolleyes:. At worst the dog owners were rude for letting their dog jump on you. Pet owners can be a bit dopey in that respect. I don’t like it when dogs jump on me but I go with the flow. Dogs are like kids to some people. Pet them and move on. You weren’t bullied, you were laughed at because you lectured someone over a puppy. See a doctor for your fear issues if it’s a problem. Carry dog treats with you the next time you walk through the valley of death. If you do something like pepper spraying someone’s pet then you probably aren’t going to like the results. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/50 "2018-09-07T00:47:13Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > This. > > Alternatively, there’s the Three S’s: > [INDENT]1) Shoot; > 2) Shovel; > 3) Shut up > [/INDENT] Mr.Wrekker asked the deputy on the down low what would happen if he shot the dog on our property ( out of city limits, way out!). The deputy said “I never heard you say that”. The 3 Ss are the norm around here, I’m afraid. I don’t like it, but I don’t like getting bit on my own deck, on my own property either. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/51 "2018-09-07T00:48:03Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > By the op’s description there was a puppy that ran up to him or her for a little affection and that generated a lecture to the dog owner. I’m not much of a dog person because I don’t like barking but that gets a :rolleyes:. At worst the dog owners were rude for letting their dog jump on you. Pet owners can be a bit dopey in that respect. I don’t like it when dogs jump on me but I go with the flow. Dogs are like kids to some people. Pet them and move on. > > You weren’t bullied, you were laughed at because you lectured someone over a puppy. See a doctor for your fear issues if it’s a problem. Carry dog treats with you the next time you walk through the valley of death. > > If you do something like pepper spraying someone’s pet then you probably aren’t going to like the results. are you serious? I’ve been bitten several times by dogs that the owners described as “just a puppy.” They still sunk their teeth in me. Asking someone to control their dog is not a huge ask. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/52 "2018-09-07T01:04:40Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Mr.Wrekker asked the deputy on the down low what would happen if he shot the dog on our property ( out of city limits, way out!). The deputy said “I never heard you say that”. The 3 Ss are the norm around here, I’m afraid. I don’t like it, but I don’t like getting bit on my own deck, on my own property either. Why would the deputy say that? I assume it’s a legally owned firearm? Of all the controversial gun laws in the U.S., I would think the one thing that nobody would dispute would be that you could shoot an aggressive unleashed dog that has caused you actual prior harm if it returns to your property a second time? ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/53 "2018-09-07T01:25:52Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Why would the deputy say that? I assume it’s a legally owned firearm? Of all the controversial gun laws in the U.S., I would think the one thing that nobody would dispute would be that you could shoot an aggressive unleashed dog that has caused you actual prior harm if it returns to your property a second time? From a legal standpoint, I doubt it would be acceptable to shoot a dog that wasn’t demonstrably a threat at the moment. Merely being on your property now and having been a threat at an earlier time wouldn’t legally justify shooting the animal. Yeah, bull feces, I know. I’d still bet money that’s what the law says. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/54 "2018-09-07T01:51:12Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > are you serious? I’ve been bitten several times by dogs that the owners described as “just a puppy.” They still sunk their teeth in me. Asking someone to control their dog is not a huge ask. Yes, I agree, getting bitten is a big deal. If we were discussing you getting bitten then my answer would be different. This is not what the op described. The op stated a fear of dogs and is therefore afraid of everything dog related. That’s what we’re discussing. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/55 "2018-09-07T02:18:31Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Why would the deputy say that? I assume it’s a legally owned firearm? Of all the controversial gun laws in the U.S., I would think the one thing that nobody would dispute would be that you could shoot an aggressive unleashed dog that has caused you actual prior harm if it returns to your property a second time? I can only assume he wasn’t gonna tell him " yes do it" for whatever reason. Dogs, especially hunting dogs, are highly prized to their owners. And therefore there is a $$$ value that’s associated with them. Big wars go on during hunting seasons about lost or stolen dogs. The fox hunters and the deer hunters get all up in arms about it. I’m not even kidding at how serious it gets. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/56 "2018-09-07T02:23:13Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I can only assume he wasn’t gonna tell him " yes do it" for whatever reason. Yes, on reflection (given what Alpha Twit said) I can see the issue. A prior discussion might be seen as evidence of intent to shoot the dog even it presents no current threat. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/57 "2018-09-07T02:42:49Z")
It’s not for the human to divine the intent of a dog coming at them. It’s to the owner to keep it from happening. If the dog gets loose, a non- lethal response like mace or air horn is relatively kind, because I believe you are entitled to defend yourself by any means you deem necessary. You don’t have to wait to get bitten. I happen to not be particularly afraid of dogs, and have handled unpleasant encounters with dogs in the past without hurting the dog. But that was a choice, and the owner should have no expectation of people their dog runs to making that same choice. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/58 "2018-09-07T02:51:04Z")
Yeah, the OP saying that she “shakes and goes into a panic” whenever she sees a dog casts a lot of doubt on what actually happened. The owners shouldn’t have the dog running loose, but it sounds like you over-reacted. Don’t report them because you’re simply scared of dogs. Even by your own OP the dog didn’t actually \*\*do \*\*anything. Thank god I live in a place where the thought of shooting stray dogs is completely foreign. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/59 "2018-09-07T02:52:42Z")
> [@Telli](#): > > . I told her that she should put her dog on a leash because some people are scared of dogs. . Note for the young and uncertain: Say “I am scared of dogs”. Do not say that “some people are scared of dogs”. Why? Because saying “I am scared of dogs” is admitting a weakness and a personal failing. Saying “some people are scared of dogs” is passive-aggressive, bossy and supercilious. Obviously, some people do not like admitting weakness. And some people do not like being bossed around by supercilious passive-aggressive neighbors. You have to find your own place in this. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876/60 "2018-09-07T07:32:18Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Yes, on reflection (given what Alpha Twit said) I can see the issue. A prior discussion might be seen as evidence of intent to shoot the dog even it presents no current threat. Exactly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grown-adult-neighbour-bullying-me/820876.md?page=4)