# Grumpy old person rants **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2011, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901 "2011-03-16T11:46:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/21 "2011-03-18T06:20:02Z")
The sidewalk is not here for you to fling trash on. The sidewalk was not installed so you could smash beer or any glass bottles because you’re bored or high or retarded or some other stupid shitty reason. Please feel free to place your trash in my trashcan or recycling bin, because i’d rather you did that than have to pick up any shit that you furless monkeys fling in my yard. Proselytizers will be now be used for target practice. If I can hear your stereo through my closed windows and over my personal music player either mp or hi-fi; your music sucks and i hope it rots whats left of your internal organs ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/22 "2011-03-18T08:14:54Z")
Stop SPITTING on the sidewalk! ICK!!! ICK ICK ICK! And frankly, some of you need to visit your doctor…what **IS** that ooge in the middle of your spittle? blech! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/23 "2011-03-18T10:31:56Z")
This past week I’ve taken 8 cabs. 7 of the drivers were fine gents: some more veteran, some less, but good drivers, respectful of other drivers and of the driver’s code, fine people in short. The one yesterday night? Other nicks of the driver’s code aside, if you’re looking for an exit which will be on the right, why are you biting other cars’ asses on the left? Actually, why are you attempting to hump other cars on any lane, period? Are you a dog? Oh, and to the reggaetón aficionado which passes by my house every day at 9pm: seriously dude, you CAN lower the volume! ---
**Author:** ![Artemis\_Tardis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Artemis\_Tardis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Artemis_Tardis)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2014, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/24 "2014-01-04T01:52:41Z")
People who stay on the left side of the subway escalators, people who walk in wide groups on a slow pace on the sidewalk, people who don’t use turn signals, religious bigots, people wearing abercrombie and holister shirts. All of these are annoying and pretty common in Nrazil. The abercrombie/hollister ones are mostly douchebags. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/25 "2014-01-04T02:56:38Z")
> [@demian\_travis](#): > > People who stay on the left side of the subway escalators, people who walk in wide groups on a slow pace on the sidewalk, people who don’t use turn signals, religious bigots, people wearing abercrombie and holister shirts. All of these are annoying and pretty common in Nrazil. The abercrombie/hollister ones are mostly douchebags. People who open a two-year-old thread with comments that are redundant and/or meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/26 "2014-01-04T03:50:05Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My shrinking bladder. I’m just getting used to getting up every damned night to pee, and now it’s going to be TWO times per night? I’m going to have to stop drinking fluids, period. Wait until they put you on diuretics. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2014, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/27 "2014-01-04T04:34:12Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > Cowards who don’t know how to get through a four way stopsigned intersection. It’s _your turn_. Go. Don’t wave that other car through, because you’re slowing me down. > [@Candyman74](#): > > Drivers who think that a 10-second delay is the end of the world, as though their journey is a national vital security matter. When impatience and anger kick in within 10 seconds, I think something’s going a bit awry with our society’s priorities. Have you two met? ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/28 "2014-01-04T05:03:49Z")
I can mostly ignore the Free Range Rude by staying well inside my cave, but then I have to put up with the Other Occupant. Most of my rants have to do with eating noises: • can you NOT scrape your teeth together when eating? its like nails on the chalkboard. • moaning and making orgasmic noises when eating is gross. • clanging the damn cereal/soup/ice cream bowl and scraping it endlessly is also annoying and will get you shot one day. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2014, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/29 "2014-01-04T08:42:01Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Why does everybody mumble these days? WHAT??? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/30 "2014-01-09T02:17:19Z")
The university e-mailed us Monday and explained that they checked buildings on Christmas Eve afternoon (most employees left at noon at the latest) and discovered that there were 16 open windows. When we were all going to be gone for 9 days. Now there are 16 more people I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with them. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/31 "2014-01-09T03:26:31Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I don’t like elevators where you enter one door, but when you get to your floor you have to exit the other door on the other side of the elevator. Then I’m backwards the rest of the day. We have one of these at work, an elevator with doors on both sides. One side opens to the public areas and the other to the private staff areas. When I ride the elevator alone, I push the button for the floor/area I want, then in transit I spin around and around until I’m disoriented, then when it stops I try to guess which door will open. What fun! ---
**Author:** ![HipGnosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/32 "2014-01-09T17:05:07Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > The university e-mailed us Monday and explained that they checked buildings on Christmas Eve afternoon (most employees left at noon at the latest) and discovered that there were 16 open windows. When we were all going to be gone for 9 days. Now there are 16 more people I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with them. It supports my theorem that as a certain level of knowledge is gained, some previous knowledge is ‘pushed out’. ---
**Author:** ![HipGnosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/33 "2014-01-09T17:06:19Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > We have one of these at work, an elevator with doors on both sides. One side opens to the public areas and the other to the private staff areas. When I ride the elevator alone, I push the button for the floor/area I want, then in transit I spin around and around until I’m disoriented, then when it stops I try to guess which door will open. What fun! AWSOME!! Now do it when you’re not alone - I dare ya! ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/34 "2014-01-09T17:36:13Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Wait until they put you on diuretics. Wait 'til you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee - and you have to pee again - while you’re still peeing the first time. Sometimes I think, “Hell, I have to get up in an hour, I might as well just stay here and pee again instead of going back to bed.” ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/35 "2014-01-09T17:54:59Z")
Bawhahahaha ↑↑↑ So true… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901/36 "2014-01-09T18:34:59Z")
> [@Small\_Clanger](#): > > E-mail ping pong. Bonus with sig/disclaimer and banners. > > I frequently get sucked in to email conversations where each respondent just replies to the preceding message. Dispite the mails all being internal to the company our mail system adds a sig to the end of each message that looks like this: > > Name: Verity Stob > Position: Senior Developer > tel: 3141 592 6535 > fax: 2718 281 8284 > email: [verity.stob@saltmines-r-us.com](mailto:verity.stob@saltmines-r-us.com) > www: [saltminesrus.com](http://saltminesrus.com) > > Company Sig Banner > > Exciting Salt Mine News! > > Company physical address, phone, fax, email, web ite blah blah blah > > Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks Craploads of legal disclaimer as if anyone ever reads this bllocks > > Which completely drowns out any scraps of actual communication the trail may contain. Oh! Good one, but you forgot the Bible verse. (I know you people in normal places think I’m kidding, but I’m not!) As a grumpy old person, I am getting real tired of Laughing Woman. Anytime I am in a restaurant or similar large group of strangers, within the first five minutes some merry bitch will let out an earsplitting squawk of laughter. After that, loud cackles at short intervals until I am ready to kill her. Laughing Woman always looks different, but she is _everywhere_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grumpy-old-person-rants/574901.md?page=1)