# Guess How Buying Deodorant Can Move Me to the Edge of Tears **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856 "2014-03-16T19:57:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/21 "2014-03-16T21:21:49Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > can I start a thread every time I feel horny, asking people to dirty talk with me? I don’t think so. This is a warning for you…and the mods are now discussing your future posting privileges. I strongly suggest you knock off the trolling/snarky replies in every topic you’re replying to if you wish to remain a member here. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/22 "2014-03-16T21:21:53Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > can I start a thread every time I feel horny, asking people to dirty talk with me? I don’t think so. I’m glad **bup** has the good sense to be level-headed and smart enough to look for the good wherever he can. Edit, sorry, ninja’d by a mod. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/23 "2014-03-16T21:24:36Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > This is a warning for you…and the mods are now discussing your future posting privileges. I strongly suggest you knock off the trolling/snarky replies in every topic you’re replying to if you wish to remain a member here. He made me feel better about my grandma, I say let him stay. ---
**Author:** ![Yellow\_Kazooie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecd19e/32.png) [@Yellow\_Kazooie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yellow_Kazooie)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/24 "2014-03-16T21:28:00Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > He made me feel better about my grandma, I say let him stay. how so? ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/25 "2014-03-16T21:38:26Z")
> [@Yellow\_Kazooie](#): > > how so? Because of your advice > [@](#): > > huff the deodorant and you’ll be happy again . ---
**Author:** ![Yellow\_Kazooie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecd19e/32.png) [@Yellow\_Kazooie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yellow_Kazooie)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/26 "2014-03-16T21:50:20Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Just letting it be OK that I had a crappy day, this was eating at me, and I had to get it out. > > Your response was better than some I’ve gotten - lectures on how everybody has good and bad times, and “that’s called life,” and shit like that. Wow, I totally missed your reply. Well, thanks then 🙂 I said that from experience > [@Incubus](#): > > Because of your advice > . what does that have to do with your gradnma? ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/27 "2014-03-16T21:57:49Z")
> [@bup](#): > > It made me smile. > > I know it will get better. I feel weird saying this, but partly because she taught me that life is short, I don’t want to go through this next (year? years?) to get to a better place. I don’t want to have to deal with this. Or, at least, I want to bring the grief along with me while I engage in life again. Great attitude. For me it’s been numerous chairs that he should have been sitting in beside me. But it gets better, it really does. I have an amazing life right now and an amazing man who loves me sitting right next to me as I type this. Be strong and know that you have supportive listening ears here anytime that you need them. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/29 "2014-03-16T22:10:20Z")
Post here and on Facebook and get telephonitis IRL if you want to. Every time you reach out _some_body can relate. Just put it out there like a one-line poem or an unresolved chord. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/30 "2014-03-17T00:00:19Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Just letting it be OK that I had a crappy day, this was eating at me, and I had to get it out. > > Your response was better than some I’ve gotten - lectures on how everybody has good and bad times, and “that’s called life,” and shit like that. Where better to unload than on anonymous strangers? And I’m not being a smart ass, I really mean it. You can unload here and it’s fine. I find that grief for me comes in waves. Sometimes you know it’s lurking out there, but most of the time it just arrives. Washes over you, overwhelms you and leaves you wrung out wondering if it is ever going to get better. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/31 "2014-03-17T00:03:10Z")
And I hate that. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/32 "2014-03-17T11:06:46Z")
It really annoys me that this sort of thread attracts the assholes, because as far as I’m concerned, this is a more valid and valuable use of this board than just about any other thread here. If this place can serve to help people through real, genuine pain, even if it’s in a very minor way, then that’s the best thing that could happen. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/33 "2014-03-17T11:46:32Z")
In my experience, it doesn’t necessarily get better, you just learn to deal with it better. Whatever your circumstances, this place is as good as any to unload, you can be sure of a fairly equal level of sympathy and snark - just ignore whatever doesn’t work for you! ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/34 "2014-03-18T07:29:27Z")
This makes me think of all the times since Mom died that I’ve seen gluten-free foods at the store and thought, first, “Hmm, Mom might like this,” then “Oh yeah…” ☹ She had celiac disease, among other health problems, and it was a struggle keeping her away from cookies and other treats. So she always enjoyed it when I’d find her gluten-free baked goods. It’s been almost two years, but I still catch myself doing that sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/35 "2014-03-18T14:56:44Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Well, it goes like this - I go to look at deodorants, and while looking for the best price, I’m thinking, “pick one that doesn’t have any scent, because of Susan’s allergies.” > > And then, a second later, remembering that it doesn’t matter any more because Susan is dead. > > Sorry - I’m not usually one to grieve on stage like this, but I can’t get hold of the usual people I whine at when I’m like this, and I’m having a crappy day. I figured better here than making it a facebook status. Had the same sort of experience the other day when I was out walking. I thought I’d swing by the local park to see all the ornamental fruit trees in bloom. They were gorgeous. Then the thought “Boy, my sister (who died last November) would sure love all this Spring color” hit me like a hammer blow, and I found myself having to stop and sit on a bench until the tears stopped. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/36 "2014-03-18T15:05:47Z")
This weekend I have a very long car trip planned. Road trips were almost magically great for us. We’d hold hands and drive and talk for hours, and all our issues with each other would melt away. At least I’m realizing the drive is going to suck now, a few days before I actually have to drive it. ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/37 "2014-03-18T18:15:48Z")
It’s amazing how many little things remind us of the loved ones we’ve lost - the smell of Shalimar, cigarettes and beer will forever remind me of one grandmother - while chocolate chip cookies, Oil of Olay and Jean Nate’ bath splash are reminders of the other grandmother. (yes - they were a bit of a study in opposites!) **Bup** - would perhaps finding an audiobook of one of the novels your wife and you had read together make the long drive easier? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/38 "2014-03-18T19:16:08Z")
My dad has been dead for…7 months now. From time to time I still get a random thought like “Hey, haven’t seen dad in a while, need to invite him for supper”. Then I remember. It sucks. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/39 "2014-03-18T19:37:53Z")
> [@bup](#): > > At least I’m realizing the drive is going to suck now, a few days before I actually have to drive it. I recommend you find some audio books to take along. I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t drift off and have some sad waves of emotion while listening to music during the drive. If you have an audiobook at least you have someone else to listen to. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/40 "2014-03-18T19:42:35Z")
I’m about 10 chapters into _ **Little Dorritt** _, which is plenty long enough. I can’t listen to that non-stop, though. I think I just need to be careful with the playlists on my iPod. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856/41 "2014-03-18T19:59:56Z")
You could check out an essayist like David Sedaris, or a bunch of podcasts… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-how-buying-deodorant-can-move-me-to-the-edge-of-tears/683856.md?page=3)