# Guess I'm not having an egg this morning. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317 "2006-05-18T21:09:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/21 "2006-05-19T06:01:25Z")
Ooooooh, I love Fluff! Fluffernutter sandwiches… Nutella and Fluff… _tummy gurgles and grumbles about being on a strict diet_ Quiet down, in there. I’ve seen the Kraft stuff around here in Seattle, but that was new to me. Back in New Brunswick, we grew up on the same thing, but I don’t think it was made by Kraft. It looks like [this](http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/acatalog/680.jpg). Me mother still has a bottle in her cupboard, last time we spoke. You can get them in plastic buckets (easier to get to the bottom deliciousness, but now that I know about the microwave trick…) or glass jars. Mmmm. Fluffernutter. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/22 "2006-05-19T06:25:43Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] Ooooooh, I love Fluff! Fluffernutter sandwiches… Nutella and Fluff… _tummy gurgles and grumbles about being on a strict diet_ Quiet down, in there. [/QUOTE] Hey, the TV commercials are pushing Nutella as health food these days. If you want to have a debauche and (provided you can make the leap of faith required to accept Ferrero’s suggestions about the health benefits of Nutella) still feel all healthful and virtuous, you can try this wonderful thing I discovered: Spread some Nutella on two pieces of nice luvverly bread. Slice some fresh strawberries and cover one piece with them. Assemble as a sandwich and (here comes the magic) press that puppy in a hot George Foreman grill or waffle iron until it’s crepe-thin. (See? It’s _thin!_ Now it’s _extra_ virtuous!) Now enjoy your crispy hot Hazelcocoaberrygasm. It’s good for you. (If you do it right, there’s even a little aerobic exercise in it about half-way through.) ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/23 "2006-05-19T06:38:12Z")
If you were impressed with the trajectory of a measly egg, try a whole acorn squash some time. Don’t ask me how I know. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/24 "2006-05-19T07:19:42Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] Hey, the TV commercials are pushing Nutella as health food these days. If you want to have a debauche and (provided you can make the leap of faith required to accept Ferrero’s suggestions about the health benefits of Nutella) still feel all healthful and virtuous, you can try this wonderful thing I discovered: Spread some Nutella on two pieces of nice luvverly bread. Slice some fresh strawberries and cover one piece with them. Assemble as a sandwich and (here comes the magic) press that puppy in a hot George Foreman grill or waffle iron until it’s crepe-thin. (See? It’s _thin!_ Now it’s _extra_ virtuous!) Now enjoy your crispy hot Hazelcocoaberrygasm. It’s good for you. (If you do it right, there’s even a little aerobic exercise in it about half-way through.) [/QUOTE] **Larry Mudd** , that just made me drool my keyboard into oblivion… I wonder if I could get away with it on the points plan? ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/25 "2006-05-19T12:59:46Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] See, my Dad used to do this all the time. Claims it’s the _only_ way to eat scrambled eggs. And _he_ never got blowed up. [/QUOTE] This one’s perfectly safe though. You’ve already extracted it from its shell, eliminating the possibility of sharp projectiles, and mixed up the contents, eliminating that sealed yolk pocket and the superheated steam within that causes it to 'splode. Once scrambled in the pyrex cup, about the only thing it can do then is expand. And expand. And _expand_. Just don’t fill that (2-cup) container more than half full, because by the time they’re done they _will_ become large enough to climb out of the glass on their own. > [@Larry Mudd](#): > > You know what’s even better? Kraft has a product called “Marshmallow Fluff,” which is basically a thixotropic marshmallow substance for spreading on bread. (Makes children explode when combined with Nutella.) Am I the only one that _cringes_ whenever they advertize the stuff and pronounce it _new-tella_? It’s nut. _Nut!_ Because it’s made from hazel_nuts!_ Criminy! That Marshmallow Fluff thing sounds fascinting – and vaguely [disturbing](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090094/). It’s a pity they don’t make it anymore – I used to _love_ Flufftella sandwiches! These days I’d probably say hello to anaphylaxis (and goodbye to my diet) from the truckload of sugar, but the memories … good times. > [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Now enjoy your crispy hot Hazelcocoaberrygasm. It’s good for you. (If you do it right, there’s even a little aerobic exercise in it about half-way through.) Subtract bread. Replace with two Eggo Toaster Pancakes (buttermilk or whole grain). _Now_ you have breakfast. And half your daily caloric intake left. No one said decadence was slimming… ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/26 "2006-05-19T14:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] This one’s perfectly safe though. You’ve already extracted it from its shell, eliminating the possibility of sharp projectiles, and mixed up the contents, eliminating that sealed yolk pocket and the superheated steam within that causes it to 'splode. Once scrambled in the pyrex cup, about the only thing it can do then is expand. And expand. And _expand_. Just don’t fill that (2-cup) container more than half full, because by the time they’re done they _will_ become large enough to climb out of the glass on their own. [/QUOTE] Aw, shucks, I already knew\* that\*, I just wanted to say “blowed up”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/27 "2006-05-19T14:17:29Z")
> [@](#): > > He told me to cook it in the microwave for about 20 seconds. This is where I started giggling and didn’t stop until the end of the post. I saw what was coming, you see. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/28 "2006-05-19T14:50:21Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] Aw, shucks, I already knew\* that\*, I just wanted to say “blowed up”. 😃 [/QUOTE] Yeah, but you gotta say it right: > [@John Candy](#): > > Blowed up _real_ good! I miss SCTV. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/29 "2006-05-19T14:51:53Z")
[QUOTE=Mr Bus Guy] hee. Hee-hee… HEE-HEE-HEE You MEASURED the 16 feet? Somehow that’s the funniest part, picturing you with this egg mess everywhere, and yet running to find the tape measure. [/QUOTE] Well it stopped me wondering who would have a PC as part of their kitchen furniture 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/30 "2006-05-19T15:10:32Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Am I the only one that _cringes_ whenever they advertize the stuff and pronounce it _new-tella_? It’s nut. _Nut!_ Because it’s made from hazel_nuts!_ Criminy! [/QUOTE] Well, but it’s from Italy, so the pronunciation is Italian. [ > [@](#): > > **What is Nutella?** > Nutella® (pronounced “new-tell-uh”), The Original Creamy, Chocolaty Hazelnut > Spread™, is a deliciously unique spread made from cocoa, hazelnuts, and skim > milk . . . ]([Nutella® Home | Official Website | Nutella® US](http://www.nutellausa.com/faqs.htm)) ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/31 "2006-05-19T15:33:40Z")
[QUOTE=The Weird One] Well, but it’s from Italy, so the pronunciation is Italian. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but … but … _nuts!_ It just isn’t the same with the long vowel. _New-tella_ just sounds … I dunno. _Wrong._ Like it’s not made with _real_ nuts, so they can’t actually _say_ “nut.” Like it’s the Tofurky of nut-like chocolate spreads. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/32 "2006-05-19T16:10:08Z")
Or Mocklate. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/33 "2006-05-19T16:16:03Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Like it’s the Tofurky of nut-like chocolate spreads. [/QUOTE] THAT is one hell of a metaphor my man. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/34 "2006-05-19T16:29:35Z")
Thanks for sharing, **A.** 🙂 For the record, here’s the way to make perfect hard-cooked eggs every time, courtesy of Cook’s Illustrated. Put egg or eggs in pot. Fill pot with cold tap water, enough to cover egg(s) by half an inch to an inch. Put pot on stove, over high heat. Watch as water slowly goes from cold to boiling, ~5 minutes (depending on your stove). The instant the water comes to a rapid boil, remove pot from heat (and turn off stove). The trick of this method is to prevent the eggs from bouncing around in the boil and getting cracked. Let pot stand, with egg(s) in the hot water, for 10-15 minutes. Using a slotted spoon (or, if you’re like me and don’t have a slotted spoon, a pasta fork), transfer the egg(s) from the hot water into an ice bath. After 3-5 minutes, remove from ice bath. Tap egg(s) gently on counter a few times, all over. Then roll gently to crackle the entire shell. Peel the shell carefully away. Start at the blunt end, because that’s where the air space is, and it’s easier to begin peeling from there. If the eggs are at least a few days old, you may be able to get the whole shell off in one piece. Finely chop the cooked eggs, then process into a paste in the Cuisinart. Add salt and a dash of paprika. With a drywall tool, spread the egg paste all over every surface in the room. Explain to your husband, “I cooked the eggs perfectly without mishap, but it just wasn’t the same without having them all over everything.” Add more salt by flinging it at the pasted walls. Laugh maniacally as the cats go nuts with the licking. When the little men in the van arrive, claim it was that way when you found it, and blame the cats. And there you go. Perfect eggs, every time. [QUOTE=Mindfield] _ducks_ [/QUOTE] Duck eggs have larger yolks and take longer to cook, so using the above method, after the water comes to a boil, don’t take the pot off the heat for about a minute (duck eggs have harder shells, so they can stand bouncing around a bit), and after you do, let the pot stand the full 15 minutes. I’ve never tried this with an ostrich egg, though I bet it would be cool. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/35 "2006-05-19T17:34:43Z")
It’s ok. I’ve done a dumb thing with an egg before, too. In my defense, I was _really_ tired. It was around 6am and I went to beat an egg for breakfast. I got out an egg and a bowl. I placed the bowl on the counter beside the sink. I then cracked the egg over the sink, watched it fall into the sink, watch it go down the drain, and then briefly wonder why it wasn’t in the bowl. :smack: Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/36 "2006-05-19T17:52:44Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Am I the only one that _cringes_ whenever they advertize the stuff and pronounce it _new-tella_? It’s nut. _Nut!_ [/QUOTE] I’m guessing the [Gnutella protocol](http://www.musicplace.it/public/shots/Gnutella.jpg) puts a hair up there too, eh? 😃 (I’m a bit troubled that I immediately intuited where your “disturbing” link went – I saw that movie _once_, about twenty years ago.) ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/37 "2006-05-19T18:05:05Z")
Kraft still makes the Marshmallow fluff, but now it’s called [Jet Puffed Marshmallow Creme](http://www.kraftfoods.com/jetpuffed/). (Click the Varities tab to see the jar for yourself.) ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/38 "2006-05-19T18:06:51Z")
Drat! Meant to add, according to [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffernutter), a Fluffernutter is a marshmallow creme/peanut butter concoction. Sounds obnoxious to me, though I’d go for the Nutella and Strawberry mixture. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/39 "2006-05-19T18:22:01Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] I’m guessing the [Gnutella protocol](http://www.musicplace.it/public/shots/Gnutella.jpg) puts a hair up there too, eh? 😃 [/quote] Well, no, because everybody knows how to pronounce _gnu_, and as far as I know gnus have very little to do with nuts and everything to do with space coasters. > [@](#): > > (I’m a bit troubled that I immediately intuited where your “disturbing” link went – I saw that movie _once_, about twenty years ago.) That’s just the kind of movie it was. It is impossible not to conjure up scenes from the movie whenever you think about marshmallow creme. Or any significant quantity of white and spoogey matter. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317/40 "2006-05-19T20:24:42Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] THAT is one hell of a metaphor my man. 😃 [/QUOTE] Glad you like it. Can I interest you in some Hunny Newgat Crunch? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-im-not-having-an-egg-this-morning/357317.md?page=3)