# Guess the International Newspaper Headlines if Trump Wins the Election **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [November 5, 2016, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671 "2016-11-05T05:48:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/1 "2016-11-05T05:48:53Z")
If Trump were to win the election I would expect mass incredulity from the world’s media (as well as domestic media). What newspaper headline would you like to see in an international newspaper if Donnie J somehow wins on Tuesday? My top choice right now is: _ **"Wait… What???"** _ ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/2 "2016-11-05T06:01:39Z")
Mods, I guess this could be in a variety of different forums. IMHO was my best guess but I could also see MPSIMS, Elections, The BBQ Pit , Great Debates, or even The Game Room. Ooooh! I’ve got another one: _ **"Trump Grabs Women By Pussy; America By the Balls"** _ ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/3 "2016-11-05T06:37:49Z")
_ **Trump Wins; World’s Financial Markets In Nosedive** _ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/4 "2016-11-05T07:03:27Z")
_ **Just When You Thought Americans Couldn’t Get Any Dumber…** _ ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/5 "2016-11-05T13:47:32Z")
Ukranian newspapers: “We’re fucked” Russian newspapers: “Rossia soon 3.8 % larger” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/6 "2016-11-05T13:55:07Z")
“Dewey Wins” ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/7 "2016-11-05T14:37:25Z")
Meanwhile, domestically [The New Yorker has a quite appropriate cover](http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/CoverStory-Blitt-Newspaper-Revised-875x1200-1478270888.jpg) that applies both to evening-before and morning-after and perhaps both candidates. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/8 "2016-11-05T14:50:51Z")
Same headline The Onion used after 9/11: “Holy Fucking Shit!” ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/9 "2016-11-05T15:57:23Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Meanwhile, domestically [The New Yorker has a quite appropriate cover](http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/CoverStory-Blitt-Newspaper-Revised-875x1200-1478270888.jpg) that applies both to evening-before and morning-after and perhaps both candidates. I didn’t know about that! That is exactly the sort of thing I was thinking of when I started this thread. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/10 "2016-11-05T16:11:12Z")
[Daily Mirror Offers W Voters Our Apologies.](http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1412958.ece/ALTERNATES/s927b/Daily-Mirror-front-page--Bush-reelected.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/11 "2016-11-05T16:18:07Z")
Wouldn’t these be in foreign languages? ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/12 "2016-11-05T17:04:17Z")
\ :smack: ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/13 "2016-11-05T17:10:35Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Wouldn’t these be in foreign languages? Usually, yes. But given our “Special Relationship” with the UK, their headlines (in English) would likely be some of the more interesting ones (along with Canadian, Aussie, and Kiwi ones). I decided on international headlines instead of any headlines at all (including domestic U.S. heads) because as ridiculous and shameless as it might seem to most of us here, a Trump victory would not be played as being as shocking in the USA as it would in the rest of the world. Still, go ahead and offer one up in a foreign language if you care to. Along with a translation, if you please. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/14 "2016-11-05T17:24:11Z")
From Japan: “Some of Our Best Friends are Korean!” From China: “We’re Calling our Loans” England: “Bloody Fookin’ Hell” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/15 "2016-11-05T18:26:03Z")
Америка избирает лидера, который нос вверх задницу Путина - Pravda \*loses just a bit in translation. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/16 "2016-11-05T18:35:56Z")
IME, international headlines are typically rather **sedate**. As long as we’re talking respectable papers, and not rags like the _Sun_, it might be “Trump Wins in Shocking Outcome,” etc. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/17 "2016-11-05T18:37:43Z")
WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/18 "2016-11-05T18:41:14Z")
From Canada: “We’re Euchered.” A pun on Trump. Sent from my adequate mobile device using Tapatalk. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/19 "2016-11-05T19:08:48Z")
France: Croissant prix augmentés. De plus, l’Amérique fait quelque chose de stupide. . .encore. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/20 "2016-11-05T19:34:12Z")
I’m going to shuffle this one off to Elections from IMHO. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671.md?page=2)