# Guess the International Newspaper Headlines if Trump Wins the Election **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [November 5, 2016, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671 "2016-11-05T05:48:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/21 "2016-11-05T22:29:14Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > Same headline The Onion used after 9/11: “Holy Fucking Shit!” I prefer the Robot Chicken version of the saying: Holy fucking ass crackers! ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/22 "2016-11-05T23:46:34Z")
> [@Isosleepy](#): > > Ukranian newspapers: “We’re fucked” Beat me to it, but I was going to list ten major papers all with the same headline. ---
**Author:** ![ThisIsTheEnd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisistheend/32/4713_2.png) [@ThisIsTheEnd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisIsTheEnd)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/23 "2016-11-06T01:03:10Z")
**Trump L’oeil** ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/24 "2016-11-06T08:01:48Z")
Die Vossische Zeitung: “Trump nennt sich Anführer des Reiches und verkündet Ann Coulter Regent für New York. Clinton und Obama verhaftet. Ted Nugent übernimmt die Führung der amerikanischen Armee.” The Vossische News: “Trump calls himself Head of the Realm and proclaims Ann Coulter Regent for New York. Clinton and Obama arrested. Ted Nugent takes over the leadership of the American Army.” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/25 "2016-11-06T20:06:50Z")
“American Voters Stupid Again” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/26 "2016-11-06T20:10:13Z")
Above a picture of a smiling Trump **YOU’RE HIRED**. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/27 "2016-11-06T21:56:03Z")
Dubya, all is forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/28 "2016-11-06T22:34:35Z")
\*\*\*“Thanks, Hillary! :smack:” \*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2016, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/29 "2016-11-06T22:45:56Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > From Canada: “We’re Euchered.” > A pun on Trump. > > Sent from my adequate mobile device using Tapatalk. “Trudeau seals border, Canadian Army deployed to stop refugee exodus.” ---
**Author:** ![ultimate11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/49beb7/32.png) [@ultimate11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultimate11)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/30 "2016-11-07T01:47:00Z")
Chicago Tribune: Clinton Defeats Trump! Ridicule is displayed over the internet and the news over the misprinted headline. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/31 "2016-11-07T01:52:04Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > “Trudeau seals border, Canadian Army deployed to stop refugee exodus.” [Canada has already been building a wall for the last nine months.](https://youtu.be/sCyzdD0vYOw) ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/32 "2016-11-07T02:12:25Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > [Canada has already been building a wall for the last nine months.](https://youtu.be/sCyzdD0vYOw) In the video that follows, the same guy (from this video) is walking in the background, carrying blocks. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/33 "2016-11-07T02:20:06Z")
Fighting ignorance since 1973: Stick a fork in folks… we’re cooked. ---
**Author:** ![Victor\_Charlie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7ea924/32.png) [@Victor\_Charlie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victor_Charlie)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/34 "2016-11-07T03:16:16Z")
And you thought Brexit voters were dumb! ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/35 "2016-11-07T03:16:27Z")
The Süddeutsche Zeitung’s headline for Wednesday 9 November: Drumpf uber alles! ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/36 "2016-11-07T04:19:35Z")
“Really, America? _Really?_” ---
**Author:** ![ganthet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de0a6/32.png) [@ganthet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ganthet)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/37 "2016-11-07T05:58:12Z")
For British/Canadian/Australian/New Zealand papers, perhaps “So long, and thanks for all the fish” or just [this](http://www.yourprops.com/movieprops/original/yp515a2af850cc52.04641714/Day-of-the-Dead--The-Dead-Walk-Newspaper-3.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![ultimate11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/49beb7/32.png) [@ultimate11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultimate11)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/38 "2016-11-07T08:34:01Z")
(This is not a headline, but rather a situation) You walk into a gas station and find no newspapers. Folks, the newspaper business has closed for good! ---
**Author:** ![Banksiaman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banksiaman/32/3334_2.png) [@Banksiaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banksiaman)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/39 "2016-11-07T08:41:37Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > IME, international headlines are typically rather **sedate**. As long as we’re talking respectable papers, and not rags like the _Sun_, it might be “Trump Wins in Shocking Outcome,” etc. No, lets talk about papers like the Sun. Knowing their reader’s sensibilities and sensitivity to others scamming the system they are likely to go for either: **“Serial groper moves in to publicly funded mansion SHOCK!”** “Ballot winner withdraws “Rigged” claims” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2016, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671/40 "2016-11-07T09:43:59Z")
**OH FUC** (continued on page 2). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-international-newspaper-headlines-if-trump-wins-the-election/770671.md?page=3)