# Guess the TV/movie character: A Game\* **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 10, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122 "2006-04-10T18:51:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/221 "2006-04-16T00:39:16Z")
I spent a passionate weekend with a married man. Now, he thinks he can dump me like garbage and go back to his wife and daughter like nothing ever happened. I’ll show him… ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/222 "2006-04-16T00:40:47Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I spent a passionate weekend with a married man. Now, he thinks he can dump me like garbage and go back to his wife and daughter like nothing ever happened. I’ll show him… Boiled bunny, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/223 "2006-04-16T06:12:13Z")
My father bailed, my mother was insane, and I make a living creeping people out and sending them to jail. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/224 "2006-04-16T13:59:12Z")
I contracted with a lawyer in the big city to purchase a new house; I wanted a change of climate and cuisine. Then I had the lawyer’s fiancee’s friend for dinner. Now the lawyer and his friends are trying to assassinate me. ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/225 "2006-04-16T23:04:00Z")
> [@KCSuze](#): > > My father bailed, my mother was insane, and I make a living creeping people out and sending them to jail. Det. Robert Goren of **L&O:CI** ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/226 "2006-04-16T23:16:48Z")
I came from a faraway place with my family, though no one in my family is who they appear to be. I teach school, and am in love with one of my colleagues. Our leader is no stranger to outer space. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/227 "2006-04-16T23:44:37Z")
> [@want2know](#): > > I came from a faraway place with my family, though no one in my family is who they appear to be. I teach school, and am in love with one of my colleagues. Our leader is no stranger to outer space. Are you Dr. Dick Solomon of _3rd Rock from the Sun_? ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/228 "2006-04-17T00:49:07Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Why, River Tam, you little minx. Nope! River was indeed broken out by her brother, but she never worked for the Department of Fish and Game. This character’s a little less mainstream than Firefly. I hadn’t even noticed the correlation before, I’ll rephrase some stuff for extra clarity. I got life in prison for trying to resuscitate an old man (while buglarizing his house). My brother got me early parole in exchange for me becoming a government test subject for his research. Now the Department of Fish and Game has me on their payroll, but I’m only staying to keep my sanity. Hint: Did I say Department of Fish and Game? I meant Department of Weights and Measures…or was it Department of Agriculture? Out little ‘agency’ gets shunted around so much I tend to lose track. Extra hint!: I’m a big fan of famous quotes and proverbs. When it comes right down to it, I’m a pretty transparent person. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/229 "2006-04-17T03:11:06Z")
Hrrrrmmmm… no hits, yet? I may have to cry. ☹ > [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > 5.) I am a master assassin. My arch-enemy never even uses a gun, but I can never kill him. It’s personal now. I had to kidnap him and call a truce once so that he could help me rescue my daughter… > > Even though my nemesis tries to never kill people, he thought that he killed me several times. (I always wound up severly injured.) Every time he thought that I _had_ to be dead, they never found a body… (Remember - there is also a hint about a trend between this persona, and _two_ others I have previously done.) New info: My nemesis always seems to be able to make something very complicated out of ordinary, random, everyday items. He also has a penchant for pocket-knives. Ones made in a particular country. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/230 "2006-04-17T04:23:19Z")
**want2know** : Indeedy. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. But I got out of that dead-end job. The guy who replaced me wears my tube socks. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/231 "2006-04-17T14:21:42Z")
Still open? You guys suck. 🙂 I’ll add yet another clue. Clue 1) I’m just a simple bus driver, with a fondness for banana’s. Everyone is so nice to me – or they’re trying to kill me… Clue 2) I like to play the party game “The Minister’s Cabinet”, but I’m not sure of the rules… Clue 3) My actor won an Oscar, but not for this role. Clue 4) I’m in Italian, subtitled. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/232 "2006-04-17T14:53:00Z")
I’m an army vet and an orphan. I’ll pretend to be a fiance because I’m a nice guy. I can’t believe how prejudiced some people can be against my people. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/233 "2006-04-17T15:43:45Z")
> [@Danalan](#): > > Clue 3) My actor won an Oscar, but not for this role. Roberto Benigni? ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/234 "2006-04-17T16:19:36Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > Are you Dr. Dick Solomon of _3rd Rock from the Sun_? Absotively, posilutely! ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/235 "2006-04-18T02:37:32Z")
Ok; this thread’s fallen off page one, so I figure it’s time to reveal the last couple. \ I’ll show you mine if you show me yours! 😃 (Remember - there is also a hint about a trend between this persona, and _two_ others I have previously done.) 5.) I am a master assassin. My arch-enemy never even uses a gun, but I can never kill him. It’s personal now. I had to kidnap him and call a truce once so that he could help me rescue my daughter… Even though my nemesis tries to never kill people, he thought that he killed me several times. (I always wound up severly injured.) Every time he thought that I had to be dead, they never found a body… My nemesis always seems to be able to make something very complicated out of ordinary, random, everyday items. He also has a penchant for pocket-knives. Ones made in a particular country. Would it help if I said that my nemesis is revered by two chain-smoking old maids who are sisters-in-law to a bald, fat, dumb, yellow guy? [spoiler]My nemesis is, of course, MacGiver. I am Murdok. I can only surmise that the reason you have never heard of me is that I am _that good_ of an assassin.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/236 "2006-04-18T03:24:22Z")
I’m a little surprised nobody got mine. This wasn’t a huge TV show, but it was on Sci-Fi for two seasons. It’s one of my favorites, and its not being on DVD in the US frustrates me to no end. I got life in prison for trying to resuscitate an old man (while buglarizing his house). My brother got me early parole in exchange for me becoming a government test subject for his research. Now the Department of Fish and Game has me on their payroll, but I’m only staying to keep my sanity. Hint: Did I say Department of Fish and Game? I meant Department of Weights and Measures…or was it Department of Agriculture? Out little ‘agency’ gets shunted around so much I tend to lose track. Extra hint!: I’m a big fan of famous quotes and proverbs. When it comes right down to it, I’m a pretty transparent person. I am Darien Fawkes, the main character of the **Invisible Man** series. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/237 "2006-04-18T16:01:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Roberto Benigni? Yes. Now, what title role did he play in this (Clue 5) 1991 movie? ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/238 "2006-04-18T16:04:44Z")
> [@Danalan](#): > > Yes. Now, what title role did he play in this (Clue 5) 1991 movie? **Johnny Stecchino** > **[Johnny Stecchino (1991) - IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102164/)** > > Johnny Stecchino: Directed by Roberto Benigni. With Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Braschi, Paolo Bonacelli, Franco Volpi. A kindhearted but bumbling idiot who likes to steal bananas, is passed off for a snitch hiding from the mob. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/239 "2006-04-18T16:53:46Z")
I was missing for 60 years. When I came back I hadn’t aged a day…and I came back with strange new powers. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122/240 "2006-04-18T20:40:33Z")
Easiest one: I moved to this small town. The weird guy likes me. I cut my hair and ran for president. Big hint for the two of you who haven’t figured it out Vote for Pedro [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guess-the-tv-movie-character-a-game/352122.md?page=13)