Give $300,000 to the first 25 people who responded to this thread.
In a previous similar thread which I cannot find, someone (I think silenus) said something like “Put 10 million in a special, separate escrow account only to be used to track down and assassinate any advisor who steals from me. Make sure they all know about the account.”
checks post number
Seconding Ludy’s advice.
I’ve given investments guy $30 million to invest. He gets a 5% commission on any money he makes for me. So if he’s got $10 million in this thing and it makes 10% this year then I’ve made $1 million and he’s made $50K off that. Then over here, he’s got $20 million invested in something else. It loses $5 million. He loses that same 5%, or $250K.
Gives him a little incentive, y’know? The setup that most places have, where your broker makes money no matter how you do? Seems to me that’s a recipe for ripoff. Especially if the amounts are big enough to play with float & things.
You’d definitely want some serious auditing going on, maybe multiple sets of auditors. Those are the guys who’ll catch any funny business, if they’re good.
On preview: love the assassination escrow account. 
Hell, I’ve been mentally going with, “Find the safest fund you can find, put the money there, and leave it there.” Even if you’re only making 1%, 160 mil gets you 1.6 mil a year. I don’t want to have to think about the money, I just want a full bank account.
Buy pizza for your co-workers and then deliver the news while they are eating the pepperoni.
I’ll be more than happy to advise you, for a standard fee of one third. In fact, I’ll waive the small change and accept $50,000,000.00 as my full fee. Payable in advance, of course.
I remember a post from WhyNot about a guy who had a very classy solution. He told his friends and relatives they could ask for anything, but only once. If they would ask for him to pay their meal at a restaurant, he would do it, once. But then they would lose their chance of asking him for that car or that house. In the end, most people didn’t ask for anything, although it gave them a good feeling they could call on their rich friend if they should ever need to do so. That stopped resentment in its tracks. And moochers mooched just once and no more then once.
Fund a poor struggling PhD student, and if you ever come down with a debilitating disease, you’ll have your own personal researcher working on nothing else but a cure.
Incidentally, have I ever told you about my struggle as a poor PhD student?
I still don’t get it, since you didn’t specify that your investment guy has any of his own money invested. In your example, he supposedly lost $200k, but where did that money come from? If he only made $50k on the first investment and lost $250k on the second, do you expect him to pay you $200k out of his pocket for managing your finances and losing your money?
I’m no expert, but I don’t think it works that way.
Yup, that’s exactly what I mean. Why should I pay someone to lose my money? I could do that myself. I’m not expecting to be his only client, so it’s not like my money is all he’d have.
I know it doesn’t normally work that way. That was my point. With that kind of dough to play with, I think you could get the rules bent.
(And I’m not saying those were actual numbers I’d insist on, I just made them up for the example.)
That $160 million prize is only $160 million if you take it in installment payments. If you take it as a lump sum payment, you only get about half. So now you’re down to about $80 million (exact amount varies depending on current interest rates).
But it gets worse. You’re going to have to pay federal, state, and possibly local taxes on that $80 million, which is deducted before they cut you your check (the real check, not the prop they use for the photo op). That’s going to run about another 30%, so you’re now down to about $56 million.
And the worst news of all – your ticket isn’t the winner, the one I bought today is!!! Bwa ha ha!!!
And if you believe the current news cycle, that means you’re pretty much destitute.
I have decided that even when I win $100 million, I’m still going to buy the best health insurance available, just because I don’t want to deal with forms and bills. You know, if you get sick or break your ankle and have to go to the hospital, you don’t want to stand there at the desk and say, “No, I don’t have insurance, but I’m rich! Really!” I’m going to have a little card to throw at them and somebody else to worry about the paperwork.
Buy a stamp that says FUCK YOU, and use it on every envelope you get from a stranger before sending it back to them.
People invest far more money than that and don’t risk their own money.
Very funny. I know several people in this business who manage accounts of that size, and they’d all laugh in your face if you proposed such a thing. Aside from being against FINRA rules for investment advisors, it encourages your advisor to take really, really stupid risks. He loses a shit ton of your money, you’re out of luck. He makes you a ton of money, good for him.
Any insurance company wants to make money - which means they’ll always try to limit their costs. Want to see a specialist? They’ll make you get a referral from a GP doctor first. Want home therapy/rehab after leaving a hospital? They’ll have to verify you’ve got a qualifying condition.
Want the absolute best care? Skip health insurance and tell your doctor that money’s no problem.
Pay your own way, and you don’t have to worry about paperwork, just a bill. The little card you’ll want to throw at them is this one.
So, you mean a credit card with a high limit? Every hospital takes them.
That card isn’t the only thing that’ll get “taken”. I think I’d go with one of the all-inclusive high end insurance plans.