# Guide to surviving in a movie. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 26, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292 "2003-11-26T01:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/1 "2003-11-26T01:25:07Z")
1: If the weird person you’ve just met knows a lot about the super-natural happenings in your household, you just may want to listen to him. 2: If a stunning woman, completely out of your league has taken a sudden interest in you, do not trust her. Any more? ---
**Author:** ![Gmork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@Gmork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gmork)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/2 "2003-11-26T01:32:13Z")
1. Don’t ever show anyone a picture or your significant other and/or kids ‘back home’ - or you’re not going to make it through. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/3 "2003-11-26T01:35:48Z")
Make sure everyone knows your name. ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/4 "2003-11-26T01:40:19Z")
If you are a cop, never announce your impending retirement. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/5 "2003-11-26T01:40:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Make sure everyone knows your name. \*\* On the same note, if your name is “Guy,” you just may want to change your name. If you are an ensign/private, do not volunteer to go on the dangerous mission. ---
**Author:** ![QuothTheRaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/71c47a/32.png) [@QuothTheRaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuothTheRaven)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/6 "2003-11-26T01:46:22Z")
If you’re an evil overlord, and you have an opportunity to kill your adversary simply and directly, say by shooting him at point-blank range while he’s defenseless, do it. Resist the urge to capture him unharmed and execute him more glamourously. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/7 "2003-11-26T01:47:07Z")
Don’t ever go to camp. EVER. ---
**Author:** ![Ruiniform](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de053/32.png) [@Ruiniform](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruiniform)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/8 "2003-11-26T01:47:23Z")
The cat only brushes through, unreasonably startling you, _once_. After that singular episode, _get out of yuor house_. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/9 "2003-11-26T02:01:37Z")
Stay away from small towns in Maine. ---
**Author:** ![Sanscour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Sanscour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanscour)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/10 "2003-11-26T02:13:10Z")
ALWAYS lift off and nuke the entire sight from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. If a ship with a new form of space travel disappears for eight years then mysteriously appears in a decaying orbit around Neptune, don’t go onto the ship to discover what happened to the crew, just blow it up and head home. If you find a frozen alien in the antartic, do not unthaw it, do not study it. Destroy the alien, blow up it’s ship and go back to play the computer in a game of chess (which is a cheating bitch). If someone offers you the adventure of a lifetime, say “FUCK NO!” and go back to bed where it’s safe. Sanscour ---
**Author:** ![eman77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@eman77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eman77)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/11 "2003-11-26T02:16:00Z")
Make sure your the best looking guy or girl ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/12 "2003-11-26T02:17:04Z")
If anyone says “it’s awful quiet around here” or anything that means the same thing, get the hell out immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/13 "2003-11-26T02:29:54Z")
Don’t walk backwards. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Batman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@The\_Batman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Batman)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/14 "2003-11-26T02:37:25Z")
Don’t be Black. Aliens/Zombies don’t like black people. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/15 "2003-11-26T02:57:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tijuana\_Golds \* > \*\*Don’t be Black. Aliens/Zombies don’t like black people. \*\* Oh, don’t be silly. Aliens LOVE black people…for dinner! ---
**Author:** ![Quack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e99b99/32.png) [@Quack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quack)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/16 "2003-11-26T03:05:05Z")
If you’re someone’s archnemesis and you’ve just captured them, consider a strip-search. You can never be too careful. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/17 "2003-11-26T03:25:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QuothTheRaven \* > **If you’re an evil overlord[…]** And if you’re _not_ the Evil Overlord, but are on his payroll, leave as soon as you can. If you are his “Second in Command”, or “Right-Hand Man”, there’s probably no hope for you: you’re a gonner as soon as something goes wrong. But if you’re a mere peon, you might be able to request a transfer before the hero shows up and the Evil Overlord sends all his minions into the meatgrinder. ---
**Author:** ![Gamaliel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b487fb/32.png) [@Gamaliel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gamaliel)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/18 "2003-11-26T03:39:16Z")
Don’t be bald. One review of Jurrasic Park 2 had the immortal line “He’s bald, and he’s gonna pay.” ---
**Author:** ![Redsland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de0a6/32.png) [@Redsland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redsland)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/19 "2003-11-26T03:52:42Z")
Be the police captain. Your star detective will hate you, and you may or may not be dirty, but you’ll live. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/20 "2003-11-26T04:14:23Z")
Except in the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292.md?page=2)