# Guide to surviving in a movie.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [November 26, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292 "2003-11-26T01:25:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/81 "2003-12-01T01:11:47Z")

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If you’re an “ensign,” do not–under any circumstances–beam down with Kirk, Spock, and Bones.

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**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/82 "2003-12-01T01:27:42Z")

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After a horrifying series of events, don’t say “Well it’s all over now.”

If you are an orc, and you see an blonde elf pointing a bow at you, play dead.

And a prediction…

…if you are camped outside the City of Gondor and you hear horns blowing, just quietly slip away.

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/83 "2003-12-01T01:32:23Z")

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When you cunningly escape from the high-security cell and, with nothing more than your bare hands, overcome the several heavily armed guards, don’t just run off - pause for a moment and PICK UP AT LEAST ONE OF THEIR FUCKING GUNS!

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**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\
**Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guide-to-surviving-in-a-movie/215292/84 "2003-12-01T01:38:49Z")

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If you are pregnant and don’t want the baby, don’t tell anyone. If anyone knows you don’t want the baby, you will be dead by the end of the film.

If you are pregnant and thinking of leaving our husband, don’t tell anyone. If you do, your husband will receive a wrapped box with your severed head in it.

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