# Guitar playing wanker **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764 "2010-04-20T16:52:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/1 "2010-04-20T16:52:51Z")
HUUUUUURRRR DUUUUUR! I live in a dorm, and I have to open my door every time I wanna play guitar! That’s not diarrhea flowing down the halls, that’s talent. And, you MUST hear it! I’m going to quit playing guitar, because it is obviously an instrument for WANKERS, and only for wankers. I’m an accordion player, starting as soon as I buy one, until the day I die. If you play guitar, I hate you. If you play accordion, I love you. Of course, I would never know if you did, because accordion players know how to play with the door SHUT! To all you people who play stuff not to be heard, I call you musicians ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/2 "2010-04-20T16:59:16Z")
Celebrating the holiday today, are we? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/3 "2010-04-20T17:08:44Z")
Men who play guitar do it to get girls. Men who play the banjo do it because they’re fucking awesome. I think I heard that on this board a long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/4 "2010-04-20T17:17:12Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Men who play guitar do it to get girls. > Men who play the banjo do it because they’re fucking awesome. > > I think I heard that on this board a long time ago. I play the guitar and the banjo. I wonder what that means? ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/5 "2010-04-20T17:27:59Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > I play the guitar and the banjo. I wonder what that means? At the same time? It means you wank, but you maintain an air of gravity about you. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/6 "2010-04-20T17:32:39Z")
The best, and really only, [solution](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9JYq-mXprw) to this problem. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/7 "2010-04-20T18:31:17Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > HUUUUUURRRR DUUUUUR! I live in a dorm, and I have to open my door every time I wanna play guitar! That’s not diarrhea flowing down the halls, that’s talent. And, you MUST hear it! > > I’m going to quit playing guitar, because it is obviously an instrument for WANKERS, and only for wankers. I’m an accordion player, starting as soon as I buy one, until the day I die. If you play guitar, I hate you. If you play accordion, I love you. Of course, I would never know if you did, because accordion players know how to play with the door SHUT! > > To all you people who play stuff not to be heard, I call you musicians ::snerk:: When I was in college, I would play with my door closed. But there was this one guy, Guy, who would just get stoned to the gills and come stumbling down to my room looking for a Chord Bitch - basically, someone to play chord progressions endlessly so he could noodle his leads - which we would have to do with the door open of course. Since he knew some stuff that I did not, I would indulge him occasionally - but yeah, after 30 minutes of the same freaking progression, other dudes on the hall would stick their heads in and go “Guy - _dude!_ - enough already!!” I sure as hell worked out my strum endurance… ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/8 "2010-04-20T19:23:56Z")
Are you suggesting that accordian players don’t wank? I think you overestimate the allure of their instrument. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/9 "2010-04-20T19:50:38Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Are you suggesting that accordian players don’t wank? I think you overestimate the allure of their instrument. Oh please. I’ve never heard of a girl falling for an accordion guy. The accordion god is Weird Al. Why would anybody play the damn thing if they weren’t motivated by a true passion for accordions? I’m also willing to consider concertina players genuine. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/10 "2010-04-20T19:58:25Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > I’m also willing to consider concertina players genuine. Curiously, [Giulio Regondi](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giulio_Regondi) was a virtuoso of both the guitar and the concertina… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/11 "2010-04-20T20:12:37Z")
I knew that once I started playing the guitar it would become uncool, but I had no idea it would happen so quickly. I play through a pocket amp and headphones. My landlord says he can’t even hear it. Somehow, the world just knows. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/12 "2010-04-20T20:16:56Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > ::snerk:: > > When I was in college, I would play with my door closed. But there was this one guy, Guy, who would just get stoned to the gills and come stumbling down to my room looking for a Chord Bitch - basically, someone to play chord progressions endlessly so he could noodle his leads. My guy is one of those noodley asses. Except if he ever asked me to play chords for him, the comfort of his balls would be forfeit. “Wow, such jazzy noodles I hear dancing down the hall. Am I in some ally behind a smokey jazz club in Chicago?” No, I’m sitting in a fart cloud in the suburbs, clipping my toenails. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/13 "2010-04-20T20:21:38Z")
That’s dorm food for ya. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/14 "2010-04-20T21:45:19Z")
At least you didn’t have to deal with [THIS](http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v172/76/23/7600318/n7600318_32123909_7509.jpg)in your hall. Oh College… ---
**Author:** ![Shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/15 "2010-04-22T14:37:17Z")
Ha! My next door neighbor in the dorms, many, many years ago was a music major who played the drums and had a full rig set up in his room. Usually he practiced quietly with rubber pads on the drum heads. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/16 "2010-04-22T15:15:25Z")
[What douchebags did to the guitar](http://eclipptv.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=5065) ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/17 "2010-04-22T15:18:04Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > HUUUUUURRRR DUUUUUR! I live in a dorm, and I have to open my door every time I wanna play guitar! That’s not diarrhea flowing down the halls, that’s talent. And, you MUST hear it! > > I’m going to quit playing guitar, because it is obviously an instrument for WANKERS, and only for wankers. I’m an accordion player, starting as soon as I buy one, until the day I die. If you play guitar, I hate you. If you play accordion, I love you. Of course, I would never know if you did, because accordion players know how to play with the door SHUT! > > To all you people who play stuff not to be heard, I call you musicians True story, I bought an accordion recently for a show, and apparently the ladies love it. I was accosted afterward by a bunch of women who couldn’t stop telling me how sexy it was. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/18 "2010-04-22T16:02:55Z")
OK, someone tell me a non-douchey instrument I can start playing. And it can’t be so undouchey that I would appear douchmental by caring too much . It must be cheapish or easily stolen. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/19 "2010-04-22T16:03:38Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > True story, I bought an accordion recently for a show, and apparently the ladies love it. I was accosted afterward by a bunch of women who couldn’t stop telling me how sexy it was. Did the senior center pay you, or was it a pro bono? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764/20 "2010-04-22T16:11:04Z")
> [@Walmarticus](#): > > Oh please. I’ve never heard of a girl falling for an accordion guy. The accordion god is Weird Al. Uh, I’ve lusted after Weird Al since the '80s… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guitar-playing-wanker/536764.md?page=2)