# Gull warfare **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2002, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693 "2002-07-18T21:24:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Iteki\_actually](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@Iteki\_actually](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki_actually)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/1 "2002-07-18T21:24:12Z")
I live in a fab apartment by the water. I love it. Fucking bastard seagulls are driving me insane! ☹ They screech from about 3 am until lunch, with the occasional fracas during the day too. Throwing non-organic things out the window will probably get me evicted (lamps, shoes etc). Throwing organic things (breadrolls, biscuits etc) will only encourage the bastards. Hanging reflective scarecrow things out the window will probably get me evicted and not be very effective anyhow since they are sitting on the pier a few storys down. Occasionally, when they have been sitting in a group and the noise has been especially unbareable I have used my secret weapon! This is half dried out lemon quarters which I feck out the window at them to scatter the group. Organic, but not encouraging them to hang around and eat. I am a genius. However that’s a pain in the ass. I rarely have lemons etc at home, and all it would take is one neighbour to see me hanging half nekkid out the window at 4am throwing rotten citrus at the wildlife for me to loose my street-cred. As you can see this post is half Pit, half stuff I must share and even a bit of GQ, since I have a question coming… Since I rekoned some of the responses would be opinions and suggestions I figured it was best here. Anyhow, the GQ bit is, how strong are a seagulls bones? At this stage I am either going to buy a soft-air-gun, or make my own “pea-shooter” to encourage the gulls to step the hell off, but I do **not** want to injure them in any way. I just want to ‘smack their wrists’. I have understood that birds in general have very lightweight bones to enable them to fly, and I would _really, really_ freak out and be miserable if I were to injure or god forbid kill one of my horrible little neighbours. Little my ass, they are as big as a small dog. Can I safely pling at them with a soft-air-gun or a home-made rubber-band gun? Otherwise, does anyone have any ideas on how to shut these bloddy things up? PS i have to have the window open or we will die from overheating here, they don’t bother us in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/2 "2002-07-19T00:20:11Z")
Jokingly: Feed em some Poison bagels. Seriously: Try contacting an animal control place around you. They do have agencies they should be able to deal with your problem. ---
**Author:** ![Iteki\_actually](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@Iteki\_actually](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki_actually)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/3 "2002-07-19T00:46:26Z")
Eeek! Nooo I don’t want them to come to harm \ I don’t think it would be of much use anyhow, I mean in terms of control, I live on an island, sea-birds are kind of part of the deal you know? They are kinda cute, for being huge dog-sized gulls, and I couldn’t bear to see them harmed (unless by me with a soft-air-gun) 😉 Anyone reading this as purely a way for me to justify the purchase of a toy Glock would be sadly mistaken. I already got clearance from MrsIteki if I want one, so 😛 ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/4 "2002-07-19T05:14:56Z")
If you cannot call in the assistance of animal-control type folks (a good solution) as **World Eater** suggest… Perhaps you could employ a watergun of some kind? Not the little squirt guns, but one of those big ones with pump-action and a 10 gallon resevoir. If you elect to use an air gun, go with the pump-up kind as opposed to C02. This will alow you to carefully gauge the impact of your projectile. Also, use _flat head_ pellets, not the pointed variety or BB’s. Taking these precautions- and assuming you don’t get head shots- the chance you will injur these birds is slight. ---
**Author:** ![Jdeforrest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@Jdeforrest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jdeforrest)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/5 "2002-07-19T17:30:42Z")
I’ve heard of feeding them alka seltzers 🙂 First of all, let me tell you that seagulls and pigeons seem to be amoung either the stupidest or most stubborn birds around. I’ve tried squirt guns, just chases them away, but they come back. Diddo with the bb guns. I did a quick google on seagull control and they have a number of preventive measures which don’t really seem to be suited for you. 1 pretty nifty one was an electric fence type deal where it gives them a shock if they land on the wire. Hardly a good idea in a public place though. They had an ultrasound device thats for enclosed or semi-enclosed spaces which really won’t work for outside. I think you would have to leave a speaker out there anyway. What worked for me is swallowing my humanitarian insticts and conducting an all out assault on them. Don’t know how your neighbours will take a bunch of bird corpses outside their property though. Maybe you could taser several of them 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/6 "2002-07-20T01:27:32Z")
Hmmm…Sweden, you say? Continue tossing bread but add a few drops of aquavit to each piece. I’m not really certain it will HELP, but it will be fun to watch 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/7 "2002-07-20T07:40:10Z")
Maybe you should ask Scylla. I’ve heard he’s had some luck against Evil Nazi Groundhogs, maybe he can help you with your Gull Hordes. 🙂 Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Iteki\_actually](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@Iteki\_actually](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki_actually)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/8 "2002-07-20T12:35:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jdeforrest \* > \*\*Don’t know how your neighbours will take a bunch of bird corpses outside their property though. Maybe you could taser several of them 😉 \*\* Taser the neighbours… hmm… think that would get me evicted too 😛 I am going to try squirting them with a hose or a water gun, I only need them to move about 10 meters away then the sound is diluted enough for it to be easy to sleep. I thought of the ultra-sonic thing, but I am pretty sure I would not be able to sleep then because I would convince myself I could “hear” it… Thanks for all the tips, this is giving me lots of good ideas, feel free to keep them coming! ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/9 "2002-07-22T00:25:10Z")
You think you can buy victory without blood? If you’re not willing to kill or maim a few seagulls in the pursuit of reightoussness, then I question your commitment. When you get some backbone, go buy yourself a pellet gun, a case of alka-seltzer and a box of bait fish, and let me know. I’ll tell you what to do. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/10 "2002-07-22T01:34:26Z")
Forget the alka-seltzer, the Master says it doesn’t [work](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_081.html). > [@](#): > > Ex-serviceman Allen Greiner reports that while stationed on the Gulf Coast, he and his friends used to entertain themselves by tossing Alka-Seltzer to circling seagulls, who would catch the tablets in mid-air. If the gull succeeded in swallowing the Alka-Seltzer, it would falter after a short time, foam at the beak, then projectile vomit its stomach contents. Afterward the bird would be as healthy as ever. Ever thought of encouraging stray cats to take up residence nearby? ---
**Author:** ![Iteki\_actually](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@Iteki\_actually](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki_actually)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/11 "2002-07-22T15:49:39Z")
These guys could take your average cat in a second. I was spying on them at the resturant at the island and people were trying to chase them away from the tables, the people were actually _shoving_ the seagulls with their hands, and they weren’t flying away! They managed to push them off the railings, but they kept coming back. It’s kinda trippy… ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/12 "2002-07-24T15:23:00Z")
I bet a bunch of those glue-based mouse traps placed in their favorite roosting spots would discourage them for a while, and if not, it might be fun to watch! ---
**Author:** ![cj\_finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@cj\_finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cj_finn)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/13 "2002-07-24T15:41:20Z")
Check out a recent story from Wisconsin, USA. [http://www.jsonline.com/news/Metro/jul02/60931.asp](http://www.jsonline.com/news/Metro/jul02/60931.asp) Turns out the solution is to get the cops to take the gulls down. Kingsbury will act on those complaints if the federal permit is approved. Then, officers would go out with shotguns at different times during the day to shoot and kill about 10 gulls. Handlos said he is seeking a permit to kill 400 birds. The idea is that the other birds would be frightened off by the sight and sound of gulls being killed. “They need to feel hunted,” Handlos said. "They need to see men walking around with guns. “We know it will work.” If you go about it correctly, you can get someone else to take care of the problem! cj ---
**Author:** ![Iteki\_actually](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@Iteki\_actually](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki_actually)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/14 "2002-07-24T21:13:00Z")
cj, yeah my cousins are farmers, and they say the best way to keep the crows away is to string up a couple of dead ones outside the barn. However, I am going to seriously doubt that in Sweden they would kill the birds, there is already enough debate about killing wolves that run amok and kill livestock, I don’t think they are going to consider my lost sleep sufficant reason. And again, I don’t want to harm them. However, they seem to be quieting down a bit… The weathers been awful 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NINJA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@NINJA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NINJA)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/15 "2002-07-25T11:15:47Z")
humm, have you tried laser? you know the gadget red dot stuff the kids play with. I remember a tv show where a naturalist had to shoot a few birds to get biological samples. he had to shoot from afar cause they where very shy water birds and said he could not use a laser because the birds would always lift off when they saw the red dot moving around… maybe it can work of the gulls? NINJA ---
**Author:** ![Iteki\_actually](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@Iteki\_actually](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki_actually)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/16 "2002-07-25T12:17:17Z")
Ninja! I am loving that idea 🙂 Gonna get me one of them in town this week, been dying for an excuse _mwah_ thanks, I will let you all know how it goes hee hee ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/17 "2002-07-25T18:27:16Z")
You can also get novelty pellet guns that fire foam BBs. It’s the kind of gun where you can go hunting your friends and not have to worry about flesh wounds. ---
**Author:** ![jay-c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@jay-c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jay-c)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/18 "2002-07-25T19:09:48Z")
It’s simple - kill them. Kill them all. Of course you ask, “jay-c, what is the best method of killing these nefarious rats with wings?” I’ll tell you, Iteki, and it’s a cheap solution. It’s called Blue Streak. Intended to kill flies, it works miracles on other unwanted visitors as well. My SO’s father had a problem with raccoons digging through his trash and strewing it about. He lives out in the country, where the local wildlife officers prefer killing the varmints to trapping and relocating them. He tried rat poison initially, but apparently it is like candy to those little buggers. After countless wasted money and still no dead raccons, the local feedstore proprieter pulled some Blue Streak out from under the counter. Some Blue Streak, water and some bread placed in a small dish will solve all your problems, he told SO’s pap. So he follows the directions, and in the morning finds 5 stone dead raccons, all within 30 yards of the dish. It had dropped them in their tracks. One had even died with its head still in the dish of the Blue Streak/H20/bread mixture. A couple days of serving up Blue Streak surprise the hungry critters, and the problem stopped. It can be purchased at any veterinary supply store or online, and costs about $8 USD for 1 pound of the stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2002, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/19 "2002-07-29T18:21:15Z")
You could probably hook up some kind of small wind catching device to make the laser wiggle around. Over a long distance, it wouldn’t take much… ---
**Author:** ![buckgully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb9ed0/32.png) [@buckgully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckgully)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693/20 "2002-07-29T19:54:08Z")
Is there a food source where they’re gathering? Trashcans, fish cleaning stations, or people feeding them? If there is, nothing you do will get rid of them. When there’s food in the balance, they’ll just keep coming. They’re scavengers, and they can figure out pretty quickly if there’s anything good to eat, and once they do, they all show up. I don’t think killing them would do any good if there’s a food source. If you can get rid of the food source (get the city to put self-closing lids on trashcans, move fish cleaning stations away from residential areas, put up “do not feed the flying sea-rats” signs) then they’ll go somewhere else, but otherwise they’re going to keep coming. Then you need earplugs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gull-warfare/119693.md?page=2)