# Gum Chewers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562 "2010-06-26T02:55:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/21 "2010-06-26T04:16:16Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Butthurt retail worker is butthurt. Sorry Stan, I’ve never worked at a retail establishment or a grocery store. Do bring on your next frothing post though, you’re very entertaining even if you aren’t very bright or coordinated. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/22 "2010-06-26T04:18:09Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Do you think the cops would bother? No, I don’t think they would. (Heck, my house was burglarized and I couldn’t even get them to come to the house. They told me to file a report & list of the missing property via email.) Besides, the DNA test would only work if you already have a suspect to match against. ---
**Author:** ![ajb867](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@ajb867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajb867)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/23 "2010-06-26T04:21:20Z")
Fuck you and your bad breath Stan Shmenge. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/24 "2010-06-26T04:22:45Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > nd a fractured carpal bone, some of which, due to poor blood supply, sometimes never heals and can cause permanent disability, is real fucking funny. As someone who makes their living with computers as a freelancer, it could throw me into the street. Lotta laughs! Go fuck yourself. Don’t worry, maybe you can get a job at Barnes & Noble. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/25 "2010-06-26T04:23:39Z")
I dunno, this is a guy who couldn’t manage the complex art of bagging groceries. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/26 "2010-06-26T09:04:17Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Go fuck yourself. > [@ajb867](#): > > Fuck you and your bad breath Stan Shmenge. “Fuck you” and “Go fuck yourself” both violate the Pit’s language rule. Please do not use sexually explicit insults against other posters. > [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > You should be sleeping with the fishes. This also violates the board’s over all rule against wishing death on other posters. Don’t do this again, either. No warnings issued. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/27 "2010-06-26T10:27:23Z")
This thread makes me want to kick ass. Or chew bubblegum. And, well… ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/28 "2010-06-26T13:00:58Z")
I saw last week where a defendant blew a bubble and burst it in front of the judge. The judge then sentenced him for contempt and gave him 30 days. He can practice in jail if they allow gum. I’m not sure they would allow gum there as all the locks would be fubared. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/29 "2010-06-26T16:08:07Z")
Stan I’m sorry you are hurt but you have to put yourself in our place, it’s pretty funny imagining a wad of gum flipping a bike. Get well dude. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/30 "2010-06-26T16:29:33Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > I am not sure how it happened, it doesn’t take much if it wedges between you brake pad and the rim where there is very little clearance. There was a big wad between the tire and the fork, but it didn’t seem to be enough to stop the tire. There are threads of the disgusting shit all over my spokes and frame, even the rear wheel. > > I wouldn’t have believed it either, but it is definitely gum. Smells like mint flavor, and strands are all over my bike. > > I wonder if it behaves like a non newtonian fluid. I can’t understand how something that pliable could stop my front wheel like that. That was my semen. It’s mint flavored. (So your girlfriend tells me. I just have to take it on faith.) Stop a bike? My jizz could stop a truck! Come on Shmenge, own up to it. You broke your carpal bone whacking off. The gum/bike accident is just a cover story. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/31 "2010-06-26T16:29:48Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > “Fuck you” and “Go fuck yourself” both violate the Pit’s language rule. Please do not use sexually explicit insults against other posters. > > This also violates the board’s over all rule against wishing death on other posters. Don’t do this again, either. > > No warnings issued. Gotta say, though, it’s not every day you see such an impressive level of vitriol over a wad of gum. ---
**Author:** ![gommsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@gommsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gommsn)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/32 "2010-06-26T18:31:53Z")
I was a gum-chewin-poppin teeager. Double Bubble was my drug of choice. My grandfather, who hated the habit with a passion, once told me; the only difference between a cow chewing its cud and me chewing gum was the thoughtful look on the face of the cow. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/33 "2010-06-26T18:58:03Z")
Yeah, grandpas tend to say stupid shit like that. I figure it’s a side effect of the alzheimers. Next time, when you leave the room, tell the nurse he needs his morphine drip adjusted. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/34 "2010-06-26T20:42:19Z")
Well, my right wrist and elbow have no mobility this morning, so off to the ER. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![BorgHunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@BorgHunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BorgHunter)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/35 "2010-06-26T21:22:09Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > There’s a special circle in hell for those who chew gum with their mouths open. Disgusting cretins. Is that the same special hell for child molesters, and people who talk at the theatre? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/36 "2010-06-26T21:37:00Z")
Gum chewing/popping/chomping has got to be the lowest form of human activity that doesn’t involve sexual assault. Mindless and rude and just plain stupid. I hate the stuff and those that persist in using it. Don’t get me started on bubble gum. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/37 "2010-06-26T22:11:37Z")
If some fucking gum was able to throw your over the handlebars of your bike, then Im sorry, but you’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/38 "2010-06-26T22:13:59Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > If some fucking gum was able to throw your over the handlebars of your bike, then Im sorry, but you’re doing it wrong. No, he said it was _chewing_ gum. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/39 "2010-06-26T22:29:41Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > This makes me want to buy some gum. Here, I have some in purse, want a piece? Dude, my dentist reccomended I chew gum as opposed to my Altoid addiction. He said it’s better for your teeth. I don’t chew it like a cow or snap it – not like a kid. Jesus. Nor do I throw it on the ground – actually, I swallow my gum. (Does anyone else?) ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562/40 "2010-06-27T01:27:47Z")
It depends. Usually I just swallow but if I see Stan coming I usually spit it right in front of his tire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gum-chewers/544562.md?page=3)