# Gun toting soccer mom dead. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 8, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115 "2009-10-08T22:12:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 33
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/641 "2009-11-03T15:08:48Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Well, I did, but I seem to have left it on your mother’s nightstand. Remember me to her when next you speak, won’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/642 "2009-11-03T17:11:10Z")
Missed it behind her dentures again, huh, **RNATB**? Tsk, tsk. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/643 "2009-11-03T17:58:41Z")
She’s been trying to convince me she’d been visited by a dark stranger with no penis—and here I thought it was just dementia! ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/644 "2009-11-05T05:55:24Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Blah blah blah. You haven’t shown any either, you’ve just spouted vague bullshit and irrelevant anecdotes. > > This is kinda like a great debate in the pit, so I can safely say I’m ignoring your trivialities until you come up with a position and some data supporting. I’m trying to save lives, you are politically ambivalent. I say the first step is to repeal the draconian concealed carry policy that has infected this country with fear, terrorism, and lawlessness. Your concealed carry policy has done nothing but escalate violence and terrorize society by infringing upon the common liberty and safety of the people and intrinsically making a native, unsafe and deadly, handgun rich, environment. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/645 "2009-11-05T13:55:51Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > I’m trying to save lives, you are politically ambivalent. > > I say the first step is to repeal the draconian concealed carry policy that has infected this country with fear, terrorism, and lawlessness. Your concealed carry policy has done nothing but escalate violence and terrorize society by infringing upon the common liberty and safety of the people and intrinsically making a native, unsafe and deadly, handgun rich, environment. MY concealed carry policy? So are you advocating a “open carry only” policy, or a “no carry at all” policy, or what? How do you cope with the numbers that, while not as statistically rigorous as we’d like, imply that concealed-carry permit holders are at most equally likely to be felons as the general populace (including children, I might add, who aren’t routinely committing felonies). ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/646 "2009-11-05T14:08:00Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Your concealed carry policy has done nothing but escalate violence and terrorize society by infringing upon the common liberty and safety of the people and intrinsically making a native, unsafe and deadly, handgun rich, environment. You should be able to provide documentation for that particular anal nugget simply by citing the relevant crime statistics. Hint: what you’ll need to show us is an increase in gun-related crime in areas that legalized concealed carry. I won’t bother waiting around for you to do that since I know in advance that the figures show exactly the opposite. I suspect you knew that too; but you have decided that your cause has the moral high ground and that lying in its service is no sin. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/647 "2009-11-05T16:13:17Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > You should be able to provide documentation for that particular anal nugget simply by citing the relevant crime statistics. > > \ > > I won’t bother waiting around for you to do that since I know in advance that the figures show exactly the opposite. I suspect that you don’t “know” that too confidently or you would have provided the documentation to cap off your zinger. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/648 "2009-11-05T16:19:00Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > I suspect that you don’t “know” that too confidently or you would have provided the documentation to cap off your zinger. FO. He’s the guy making the claims, he’s the one needs to back them up. I am simply stating in advance that I happen to know his claim is spurious. The data in question has been cited in just about every gun control thread this board has ever had. I’m too lazy to look but it wouldn’t surprise me if it has already been cited in this thread. In any case, he’s a lying sack of shit and he knows it. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/649 "2009-11-05T16:25:10Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > FO. He’s the guy making the claims, he’s the one needs to back them up. I am simply stating in advance that I happen to know his claim is spurious. The data in question has been cited in just about every gun control thread this board has ever had. I’m too lazy to look but it wouldn’t surprise me if it has already been cited in this thread. In any case, he’s a lying sack of shit and he knows it. No, you made a claim too, that studies show “exactly the opposite” of what he’s saying. I won’t wait around for you to prove it as I know in advance that the figures show mostly ambiguity. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/650 "2009-11-05T16:26:35Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > She’s been trying to convince me she’d been visited by a dark stranger with no penis—and here I thought it was just dementia! Well, the dementia screws up her word order. She meant to say “dark penis attached to a stranger”. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/651 "2009-11-05T16:26:44Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > No, you made a claim too, that studies show “exactly the opposite” of what he’s saying. I won’t wait around for you to prove it as I know in advance that the figures show mostly ambiguity. Ambiguitiy, in this case, being defined as: They don’t show what I want them to show, so I will claim they show nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/652 "2009-11-05T16:31:08Z")
Your continuing failure to back up your own assertion _is_ somewhat curious. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/653 "2009-11-05T16:34:16Z")
Raise your hand if you buy what **Scumpup** ’s saying about why he won’t provide a cite. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/654 "2009-11-05T16:35:50Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Your continuing failure to back up your own assertion _is_ somewhat curious. Indeed. Also, I don’t “want” them to show anything, I was just struck by how confident ScumPup is without actually showing us. Sure “he knows for a fact” but we all have to wait on the other guy he called “cite” on. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/655 "2009-11-05T18:19:10Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > She meant to say “dark penis attached to a stranger”. You’re Michael Jackson? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/656 "2009-11-05T19:06:22Z")
Dark, not mottled. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/657 "2009-11-05T19:12:36Z")
Well, if the penis itself is being distinguished as dark, that seems to suggest that there’s some color variation. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/658 "2009-11-05T19:20:34Z")
But the real question is, “did it ensue?” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/659 "2009-11-05T21:03:21Z")
Not that it isn’t a fascinating subject in its own right, but I wonder if the thematic drift from “rootin’ tootin’ soccer mom plugged between the eyes with hubby’s hot lead” into speculation over the late Mr. Jackson’s _chiaroscuro_ genitalia might not indicate that this thread has outlived its usefulness. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115/660 "2009-11-05T21:06:14Z")
I submit that no thread could possibly offer as much utility as one in which the subject of Michael Jackson’s Amazing Technicolor Penis is discussed. May they both rest in peace. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115.md?page=32) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gun-toting-soccer-mom-dead/513115.md?page=34)