# Guy stuff III: chicks, thongs, and yummy butt crack sweat (For VB) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 25, 2000, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777 "2000-08-25T23:43:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/41 "2000-08-26T04:05:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*::Throws a beer bong into **S-fox** ’s mouth, dumps in half a pitcher of margaritas:: > > Wow! > > She swallows! \*\* Well it wouldn’t be very ladylike to spit … ducking and running … ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/42 "2000-08-26T04:30:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\* > _Demo!_ No giving the baby 151! Lite beer only! And get those panties off of his head! Geez! He’ll learn how to do that on his own soon enough! \*\* Sheesh! So much for my patriarchal gig. Here boy, have a toke on this. Maybe mom’ll chill for a while… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/43 "2000-08-26T05:38:06Z")
This sounds like my kind of party, if you don’t mind me crashing it. :: picks up a beer on her way out to the hot tub, leaving a trail of clothing :: ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/44 "2000-08-26T05:56:59Z")
Well, now, this scene certainly looks familiar. _checks room for moose before entering_ There any rum around here? _starts sorting through alcohol_ ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/45 "2000-08-26T06:05:43Z")
I lit the Guy Stuff sign… they should all be here soon! Anyone wanta see my new nipple jewelry? ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/46 "2000-08-26T06:14:07Z")
Sassy! You dirty-birdy! I thought _more_ of you! You didn’t think I’d show up here, didja? ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/47 "2000-08-26T06:47:58Z")
/cut to ::A van slowly pulls to a stop down the street. The window rolls down a few inches, and a large aperature camera lens peeks out and begins clicking off rolls of photographs. A slight cackle eminates from the van, and a man is heard to faintly whisper “Ah-HA! Wait until Mr. Adams sees this!”:: /cut to ::The black van slowly rolls up it’s window and pulls away, slightly squealing a tire. The guests at the party do not notice, save Democritus, who walks over and looks out the window.:: ChiefScott: What are you looking at, Demo? Democritus: Uh, nothing, Chief, just thought I saw a black van… /cut ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/48 "2000-08-26T11:17:04Z")
::Waking up, popping another beer, checking watch – less than six hours to pre DopeFest PoolFest:: Ahhh. Beer. Good. I think that was **bear** ’s evil twin slutty sister last night. **bear** would never have her head 'tween my knees. As a matter of fact, I think the alcohol clouded my vision and it wasn’t even her twin sister, it was some half-naked puple bikini and miracle bra clad newbie. **pb** wasn’t even here. Don’t worry **Demo** the van is nothing to worry about. It’s probably filled with Alpha Alpha Pi dudes from the local college stealing pointers on what a party _should_ be like! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/49 "2000-08-26T11:29:35Z")
And if it’s **Homer** trying to narc us out, I’ve got the newly-refurbished tuned and gassed up ambulance raring to go out back. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/50 "2000-08-26T11:47:14Z")
\ Oops. Didnt mean to doze off like that in the middle of a party. Now, what’s this about some pbear wanna-be? Good thing she left, whoever she was! I know it’s too early for a 151 and coke, so I’ll just have a diet Dr Pepper, please, Chiefy. Thank you so much. Well, y’all, I’m off to the showers. Be back later. Don’t have too much fun without me while I’m gone. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/51 "2000-08-26T11:50:17Z")
Can you send over your slutty twin sister, **bear**? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/52 "2000-08-26T14:25:05Z")
_Persephone wakes up next to her son, BabyGuy. He is dressed in a white tux, holding a silver object in his hands, and he’s shaking it gently. He looks like a very small Sean Connery._ Alright you guys…who taught the boy how to mix martinis? And where did you get that tux? Am I going to have to pay for that? He looks really good, though. Dang. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/53 "2000-08-26T16:04:26Z")
Have noooo fear cause Silo is here! Umm…so what’s goin’ on here?? I’m gonna use some smileys because I’m happy today: ;):):p:);):):p:);):):p:);):):p:);):)😛 ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/54 "2000-08-26T16:18:04Z")
Silo, you DO know who’s throwing this party, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/55 "2000-08-26T16:54:26Z")
OK Chief, whatever you say, but I coulda _sworn_ that was Homer… Huh! Hey Silo, c’mere! Say hello to my leetle friend! Don’t you know any manners, boy? ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/56 "2000-08-26T17:03:57Z")
Why am I always the last to know about a party? hmmm? ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/57 "2000-08-26T17:14:56Z")
The party goers hear a thump on the roof, and the whine of turbines… As the rotors wind to a stop, the door flies open to reveal VB in all his glory, spit shined boots and freshly pressed flight suit! With a fresh bottle of 151 under his arm and packets of cinnamon oil, he strides into the room, kicking aside loose panties and a toasted wombat. “Hey purp! here’s some more 151 for you! And I brought the oil for dragonlady when she shows, and for anyone else who wants it in the meantime”. “Yo, Falcon-honey! Where are you? And Pers sweetie, now you’ve retrieved your panties, would you care to model’em for me?” “Anniz, you doll you, from the look of that picture I was right; you _ **are** _ a founding member of the Swedish Bikini Team!” “Hey Chiefy, thanks for taking my suggestion; great party! As for sweaty butt cracks, this butt’s for you, ya swabbie!” (VB shucks out of his flightsuit, drops his shorts, and moons the Chief) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/58 "2000-08-26T17:16:42Z")
ChiefScott, maybe you should quit while you’re behind . . . you’re certainly not a **head**. I’m sure if you go looking around in neighboring hotels you’ll find someone . . . besides, I have it on good authority that none of PB’s sisters is slutty or otherwise . . . adventurous. But one of them **is** a nurse;) ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/59 "2000-08-26T17:50:40Z")
\ Cute shorts, btw, VB! 😉 And, just bring that cinnamon oil right over here, dear. I was looking for some, but seems that Chief only had other flavors on hand. err…as it were. Why, thank you, Paddy m’dear. As to the ‘nurse’, _Blush_ Thank you, I’ll tell her you said that. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777/60 "2000-08-26T17:54:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by purplebear \* > \*\*Why, thank you, Paddy m’dear. As to the ‘nurse’, _Blush_ Thank you, I’ll tell her you said that. \*\* One would hope she doesn’t need to be reminded of her RN-ness. Struuter, best get your butt in here before someone hoists me off for unspeakable . . . unspeakables;) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff-iii-chicks-thongs-and-yummy-butt-crack-sweat-for-vb/30777.md?page=4)