# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/201 "1999-11-09T21:30:00Z")
TROLLOP?!? ::standing up, swaying a bit:: I’s notsh a trollop! Deals the cardsh, Flyp! ::falling back down on the couch, grabbing a beer:: BRRRRAAAAAPPPPP! Mush better. * * * “Better people…better food…and better beer!” -Neil Peart, Rush ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/202 "1999-11-09T21:47:00Z")
the phone rings…and rings… after a while a hand knocks the receiver off the hook. “buuuuurp - whaadya want?” “I say you chaps, can you keep the noise down just a touch. Think of me as your jolly next-door neighbour who hasn’t been invited to the party. Oh, and I can hear you from here … in England” ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/203 "1999-11-10T01:10:00Z")
Hey, there’s a bottle of Everclear here, did you guys know its illegal outside Kentucky? (only 96% alcohol) Some one get me some of that koolaid… [cow god mixes a few shots] uuuuuuuhh, I don’t feel so good… Hey you… YEAH YOU… waddyaa lookin at?? HUH… whyy I oughttaa teach you yelly bellied yuppies sumtin or two! But cha know what? I can’t be fightin. I luv you guys… _sniff_ _sniff_ Hey, Unca BEER, why are there threee of yous?? THUMP * * * “I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) `\/-------\ `| |-----| | …c.c…c.c… ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/204 "1999-11-10T01:32:00Z")
Hi, can I come in and tell you why Jesus Christ is my personal lord and savior? !!! SLAM !!! your humble TubaDiva Hey, it’s just a joke . . . I brought pizza and a keg! ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/205 "1999-11-10T02:13:00Z")
Hey, Tuba…cmmmmmmmonnnn in… All’s I can say, is when you get to the end of the bottle o’ Mescal with these murrff… with these morrffiff… BBBBUUUUUURRRRPPPP… wif ese morphiferryerrs, jus’ don’ menshun the goddamm WORM comma OK??? ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/206 "1999-11-10T02:16:00Z")
Did I hear pizza? Hell, nothing, and I mean _nothing_, goes better with orange juice like pizza. Lemmie just wake up the OJ \< pours in some Cuervo \> Alright! Deal me in! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/207 "1999-11-10T02:17:00Z")
Trolls? There’s trolls here? Where? Give me that kerosene. The BBQ Pit is \*here,\*mo’fos! What? Oh, you said \*trollop.\*Oops. Here, let me go get something to clean that kereosene up. Hey wait a minute. Did you call _me_ a trollop? I may be drunk, but I know when I’ve been insulted, and you just opened yourself a big ol’ can a whoop-ass! ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/208 "1999-11-10T02:18:00Z")
TubaBabe… glad you’re here… now if we can just find a good 'cordion player, a snare drum and a clarinet we’ve got ourselves a Polka Band!! Hope you know “In Heaven there is no beer.” ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/209 "1999-11-10T02:18:00Z")
Ooo! Pizza! (Since apparently Cowgod isn’t cooking steaks anymore…) Pass me some of that Everclear…I feel like making a purple Jesus. (So named because it was made with purple Kool-Aid, and the next day you woke up going “Oh Jesus.”) Hey! Flypsyde! We playing poker here or what? Deal the stinkin’ cards! * * * “Better people…better food…and better beer!” -Neil Peart, Rush ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/210 "1999-11-10T03:43:00Z")
Daniel, What you wanna use my girls to balance bottles for target pratie ? HELL NO ! Look buddy if I unleash these f cups , well I can’t be responsible for what would happen. They have minds of their own. Besides one of them has The Lions name on it ! Who said that ? Look I don’t are if there is room on them for most of you to put your names there, it ain’t happening. Hey wait a damn minute here, whats with the rope ? :: running from house :: I WAS GONNA GO GET SOME PRESIDENTE BRADY BUT FORGET IT. :: grumble, grumble, damn. I left The Lion there again. :: * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/211 "1999-11-10T04:29:00Z")
Sorry I’m late folks, but I had homework. Now… who wants to help Mr. 97% lower his purity test score? _takes a shot of tequila_ ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/212 "1999-11-10T06:15:00Z")
Don’t look at _me_, John. \< Nursing his sunrise \> Deal, already! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/213 "1999-11-10T09:24:00Z")
Hey, POLKA! I got the tuba in the trunk; have axe, will travel! Um, pay no attention to that AK-47 next to the tuba . . . that’s for later. your humble TubaDiva And-a-1-2-3! “In Heaven There Is No Beer. . . come on, everybody!” ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/214 "1999-11-10T10:16:00Z")
uh TubaDiva, Please please tell me you aren’t going to play that tuba. My son plays one , has for 6 years. Between that and his bass, the sound makes me twitch. Oh stuff here comes the tie her up and tatoo her group again, Forget what I said , play away, they deserve it. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/215 "1999-11-10T11:42:00Z")
Are we out of beer… yet again? * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/216 "1999-11-10T14:17:00Z")
Alright, Falcon, don’t get your bra in a twist. Now, name of the game is 5 card draw, nothing wild. And incidentally, if Cristi doesn’t stop trying to sneak around my back and get a look down my toga, I shall have to revert to my normal attire. I open with one flipper. DB, your bet. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/217 "1999-11-10T14:21:00Z")
Nah, Sue, I hijacked a beer truck to get here. It’s parked in the front. BTW, anyone wanna get their fingerprints… err… fool around with this .45? -John ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/218 "1999-11-10T14:31:00Z")
Damn it! I’m late! Don’t tell me there’s no beer. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/219 "1999-11-10T14:36:00Z")
_looks at her cards, takes a large swig out of some bottle sitting on the floor nearby_ I’ll see that piece of footwear, and raise you a wristwatch. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/220 "1999-11-10T15:51:00Z")
Hmmm…my bet now. ::looks down at cards, downs another shot of Tequila:: I’ll see that wristwatch, and raise you…well, hell, my shoes got lost somewhere around here. Either that or they stuck to the floor! So…I’ll raise you a belt. Oh, and John? C’mere, darlin, and play with us…I’m sure we could help you lower that purity score… \< leer \> * * * “Better people…better food…and better beer!” -Neil Peart, Rush [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=12)