# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/221 "1999-11-10T15:55:00Z")
Okay, flipper, wristwatch, belt. Up you a legwarmer. But DB, leave the ballcap on. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/222 "1999-11-10T16:14:00Z")
_looks suspiciously at her hand_ Wait a sec…there aren’t supposed to be five aces in a standard deck, are there? UNCLEBEER! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THESE CARDS? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/223 "1999-11-10T16:23:00Z")
Shhhhh, just take their clothes. You won the hand. That must be the deck I used to get my 150 bucks back from Omniscient. I’m gonna go out back and vomit now. Then maybe I’ll shoot somethin’. Probably Coldfire’s Bumper-Dumper. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/224 "1999-11-10T17:13:00Z")
Hmmm…the cards you used to win from Omni, huh? That would explain the 5 kings _I_ had…I thought I was just seeing double again! Up for another round, folks? You in, Sealemon? After all, you sure got a purty mouth… 😉 And is SanibelMan around here somewhere? And where did my damn bottle of tequila go? * * * “Better people…better food…and better beer!” -Neil Peart, Rush ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/225 "1999-11-10T17:31:00Z")
Yeah, I’m in. \ I’ll take two… Ok, I’ll bet ya a left shoe. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/226 "1999-11-11T06:39:00Z")
Oops, sorry, Falcon. Here’s the tequila. I bid a ski mask. What do you mean why do I have a ski mask? I hijacked a damn beer truck… Hey, should the Queen of Hearts be naked? Where the hell’d you get this deck? ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/227 "1999-11-10T19:23:00Z")
Thanks John…HEY! The bottle’s half empty! Who drank this? Oh well… ::taking another swig from the bottle:: I’ll see your ski mask and raise you…a vest. And as for the cards…you DID say you wanted to lower your purity score! 😉 * * * “Better people…better food…and better beer!” -Neil Peart, Rush ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/228 "1999-11-10T21:23:00Z")
I think I’m too drunk to play poker. How’s about we just play strip High Card? ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/229 "1999-11-10T21:25:00Z")
Strip high card? Ya just gotta love a chick who don’t need foreplay! * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/230 "1999-11-10T21:52:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I think I’m too drunk to play poker. How’s about we just play strip High Card? Big talk, coming from someone who’s got five aces. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/231 "1999-11-10T22:03:00Z")
What, you saying you chicken now, Flyp? ::leans over, finds bottle of Everclear:: You know, I bet this would light REAL well… ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/232 "1999-11-10T22:15:00Z")
Sorry, Falc, but given my impending state of nudity, anything flammable is out of the question. And why, pray tell, am I now holding a 2, a 3, a 4, a 5, and a 7? * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/233 "1999-11-10T22:30:00Z")
Beats me, Flyp. On a completely unrelated note, I now have 5 aces. Read 'em and weep. Say, why is there a shaved-drunken-burnt cat on the deer’s head? ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 1999, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/234 "1999-11-10T23:30:00Z")
Somebody said they were talking about Trollope over here, and I just finished “Barchester Towers” and I’m dying to talk to somebody about it, and… Hey, what are you…STOP that! What are all those naked people doing on a literary criticism thread? And what’s that smell? Is it the naked dead cat on the deer’s head? At least I think it’s dead… Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/235 "1999-11-11T00:04:00Z")
If they can put a man on the moon, why can’t they put the rest of them? ah ha! Eventually many a man comes to the realization that women are biologically superior because they can bear children. duh. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/236 "1999-11-11T00:32:00Z")
Hey Falcon! I left a bottle around here, someplace. I use it so I won’t have to run all the way to the can. Help me find it, man ! I gotta take a leak again! * * * YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/237 "1999-11-11T04:02:00Z")
Sorry…just had to step out and find some proper bandages for my hand. It’s looking a bit better today. Yesterday it was extra crispy, now it’s more like original recipe. I stopped by the drive-thru beer store on the way back. Thanks to us, the owner just took that vacation to Hawaii he’s been dreaming of. Anyway, I brought more beer & Cheesy Poofs. And a bottle of 151. And matches. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/238 "1999-11-11T04:03:00Z")
Oh Flyp…you do look mighty cute under that toga! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/239 "1999-11-11T11:37:00Z")
BUUUUUUURPPPP, Hey, does anybody else’s tequila taste funny? This must be the good stuff, it really IS gold! (passes out again) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/240 "1999-11-11T12:20:00Z")
**ROAD TRIP!!** * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=13)