# Guy Stuff

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 16

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/301 "1999-11-12T14:35:00Z")

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## THREE FUCKIN’ HUNDRED !!!

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/302 "1999-11-12T14:37:00Z")

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Three hundred???

We gonna need mo beer.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/303 "1999-11-12T14:42:00Z")

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Whooooo… glad nobody beat me to it. I always wanted to do that 😉

That’s not the cupholder you dweeb ! That’s the ash tray, only the cup seems to be missing… so sue me it IS a cup holder. An ash cup holder. _hickup_ Boy, that Unca Jack is sure working it’s way down ! Or… wait a minute now… it’s coming UP again…

_quickly rolls down window, but only manages to get it down halfway_

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrlllll…

Brwaaaaarph… roaaaargh… hack, spit, AAAaaaaaaaaaaahhh…

_swollow_

Sorry 'bout that. Hey, that’s funny. Y’all are covered in vomit. C’mon lighten up already. If it makes you feel a bit better, you’re free to barf on me.

Hey, why dontcha put the keg in the Bumper Dumper, I’m sure it’ll fit.

Hey Sealemon, get that finger out of your throat. What the ?

## uh-oh…

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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**Author:** ![mikehardware](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mikehardware](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikehardware)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/304 "1999-11-12T14:51:00Z")

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Hey guys, is the sun supposed to be rising in the north? And when did Florida grow mountains?

Hey, knock it off, quit mooning the cars as we pass.

Oh oh, blue lights…

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**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/305 "1999-11-12T14:53:00Z")

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All right, ellele, it’s simple. Just put the red wire and the blue wire together.

AND MAKE SURE NEITHER OF THEM \*\* EVER \*\* TOUCH THE YELLOW ONE.

Like I said, simple.

I think I need more tequila, too. I can feel my legs.

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**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/306 "1999-11-12T15:07:00Z")

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Of course there are blue lights. We just drove through the window at K-Mart.

Hm…as long as we’re here, lets pick up some Depends and skip those pesky pit stops.

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/307 "1999-11-12T15:24:00Z")

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And some handi-Wipes. Freakin’ Dutchman can’t hold his alchohol.

Alright, we should be hitting Florida anyti-

What tha fuck? “Welcome to North Dakoda?”

Fuck it. We’re going to Canada!

Mmmmmmm…Canadian beer…

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/308 "1999-11-12T15:46:00Z")

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I’m throwing a couple steaks on the manifold. anyone hungry?  
FREEZE OUT!

* * *

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

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**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/309 "1999-11-12T15:48:00Z")

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East bound and down, keep on truckin’ …  
We got a long way to go, and a short time to get there. We’re gonna do what they say can’t be done!

If we pass by Graceland, we have to stop to pay our respects.

* * *

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/310 "1999-11-12T16:04:00Z")

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Yeah. Hail to The King, baby.

Anyway, I’m all better now. Pass me another beer, will ya ? And one of them steaks would be good, too.

So, Canada, huh ? Time to play another RUSH tape !

## “Up on your way, hit the open road, there is magic at your fingers…”

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/311 "1999-11-12T16:17:00Z")

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Hey guys, mind if I come along? I have beer…and being a chef, I can cook up any deer we happen to hit.

all together now, let’s sing the theme to “the Man Show”…

“drink a beer and light a fart  
Scratch your favorite private part  
IT’S…THE…MAN SHOW!”

* * *

Live a Lush Life  
Da Chef

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**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/312 "1999-11-12T16:25:00Z")

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Woohoooo the mountains… stop this convoy… we need a snowball fight!!!

* * *

“Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/313 "1999-11-12T16:29:00Z")

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Snow? Hey let’s all get out and write our names! It’s gonna be a little tougher for the gals, though.

* * *

**Dopeler effect:**  
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/314 "1999-11-12T16:33:00Z")

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_nudging UncleBeer whilst peeing a giant C_

## Heee heee, look at them chicks hopping around bare-assed 🙂

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/315 "1999-11-12T16:47:00Z")

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Hey whose up for ski jumping?

\<font size=“7” face=“Sports Two MT”\>F F F\</font\>

* * *

**Dopeler effect:**  
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/316 "1999-11-12T16:56:00Z")

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\< singing \> _Fly by night, away from here. Change my life again. Fly by night, goodbye, my dear. My ship is a coming and I just can’t pretend_

Chef Troy, come with us. You wouldn’t happen to know how to make pork rinds, would ya?

_I strip away the old debris, that hides a shiny car. A brilliant red Barjetta from a beter vanished time…_

Better yet: _We’re on the train to Bangcok, aboard the Tai Land express.We’ll hit the stops along the way-we only stop for tha best!_

Cold enough for ya, ladies?

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/317 "1999-11-12T17:00:00Z")

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Hey, anyone mind if i pop in ‘highway to the danger zone?’

* * *

We live in an age that reads to much to be wise, and thinks too much to be beautiful–Oscar Wilde

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**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/318 "1999-11-12T17:03:00Z")

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_I’ve been drivin’ all night my hands wet on the wheel._

Nothing like Golden Earring to get the air guitars a-strummin.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/319 "1999-11-12T17:04:00Z")

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- in a rare moment of clarity \*

Errmmm, it’s a Barchetta. Italian for little boat. Check it out: [http://www.ferrari.it/vetture/ieri.e/340mm53.html](http://www.ferrari.it/vetture/ieri.e/340mm53.html)  
It was the nickname for this car. If that’s not Guy Stuffish, what else is 🙂

And it’s Bangkok, unless you want it to sound like a cheap porn movie…

Wait a minute now.

## PORN !!! Does this truck have a VCR ??

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/320 "1999-11-12T17:06:00Z")

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AND:

“I’ve been driving all night, my hands SWEAT on the wheel”

Dontcha try and tell a Dutchie he doesn’t know his Golden Earring 🙂

## “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ve got a thing that’s called… Radar Lo-hooooooove…”

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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