# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/381 "1999-11-14T06:25:00Z")
busy looking through my files for a snowball pic … pass me a beer will ya? * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/382 "1999-11-14T06:34:00Z")
\< throws a beer over to Sue \> Post it! He’s about to get me back for By-Tor… It could be worse, Sealemon…I could start singing “Cygnus X-1.” \< grins, grabs another beer \> ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/383 "1999-11-14T06:48:00Z")
::hic:: Shay, baby, whass yer name? Huh? Wha kinda name is Mary Joseph for a girl? Neat smock, though. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/384 "1999-11-13T19:00:00Z")
Well, I have to say ya’ll were pretty easy to track down, I just followed the empties down the high-way. I am all recovered from my hang over now. So, lets stop for some rum and… wait a minute, what the hell is that on that guy’s forehead ? It looks like a… , it is , it is ! :: leering at Lion :: Hey, Lion, theres a Kroger parking lot, wanna do that again ? Yeah I know we aren’t in the front seat of a taxi, and it’s daylight. But nobody will look, will ya guys ? No, thats what I thought, thanks. Why are ya’ll grinning, winking and giggling. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 1999, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/385 "1999-11-13T19:43:00Z")
Of _course_ we won’t look, Ayesha. My camera has a timer. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/386 "1999-11-14T04:45:00Z")
So we stole this winnebago from \* nuns? \* Hmmm… the decor is a little… incongrous for the level of debauchery in here. Hey, Seale, pull a left up here. I know a detailing place that can airbrush the clothes off that angel on the side in 10 minutes flat. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/387 "1999-11-14T05:33:00Z")
::pulls up, stops, surveys the landscape, reaches into briefcase and starts handing out business cards:: Here, guys and gals. I think you’re gonna need these. -Melin, Esq. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/388 "1999-11-14T07:17:00Z")
Hey, the kitchen on this Winnebago is really nice. Why is this water in the silver container separate from the rest of the water? I’ll just pour it in with the rest. Cool! did anyone else see the word form in the spray of water when I poured it in? And what does “blasphemy” mean? _gets started cooking_ Who wants some of my Holy Molé Chili? * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/389 "1999-11-14T07:20:00Z")
Cristi said: > [@](#): > > :::::yawns & rubs eyes because she doesn’t have balls to scratch::: ## Cristi, hon, you can scratch my balls anytime you get the urge. And I want you to know that I’m not like all the other guys on this road trip who just wait till you pass out to take advantage of you; I’d like to take advantage of you while you’re awake. Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/390 "1999-11-14T13:10:00Z")
\< puts on his shades \> We’re on a mission from God. Hit it. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/391 "1999-11-14T17:04:00Z")
:Jedi667 is standing by the side of the road, hitch-hiking. He is carrying a mirrored Disco ball, an 8-track tape player & a pet rock. He is wearing a white polyester leisure suit & a t-shirt reading “Honk if you love jesus” on it.: \ RUN HIM DOWN! RUN HIM DOWN! 20 POINTS, EASY!\ ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 1999, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/392 "1999-11-15T06:09:00Z")
:::tucks Melin’s business card into bra, for easy access, because we’re sure to need it soon::: Chef, I’d scratch your balls for you, really I would, but my husband would probably not approve. I haven’t scratched his in a while. Good to know I don’t have to worry about _you_ while I’m asleep, though! That “blasphemy” thing was pretty cool! I’m not sure what it means either, but something tells me that we’re involved in it in some way. And yes, I’ll take some of that chili. Mmmmmm…this is good! It tastes vaguely wild…that meat doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before…Chef, you didn’t use that moose in here, did you? Way to recycle, my man! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/393 "1999-11-14T21:34:00Z")
Enough of Rush. Let me put in this Celine Dione tape. Are you guys crazy? You can’t throw me off the truck. We’re doing 90. Okay, okay. I got a Julio Igleises tape that…hey…let go… how about some Eddie Fisher…ouch! * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/394 "1999-11-14T22:05:00Z")
CELINE DION??? I’m sorry. This is a Celine-Free Zone. ™ Now, Coldfire…be nice. Don’t throw Wally off the truck. I’m sure we can come up with something else to do. And DAMN, the Redskins lost AGAIN??? To the EAGLES??? Someone pass me some beer…I need something to dull the pain… * * * “The point of a journey is not to arrive.” -Neil Peart, Rush ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/395 "1999-11-14T23:02:00Z")
‘This is Chuck Itup on Channel 88. We apologise for losing contact earlier with our helicopter reporter, but we’re now able return to our ‘Eye in the Sky’. Pete, are you receiving me?’ 'Yes, Chuck, Pete O’Grady here in the Channel 88 ‘copter. We’re looking at a burning vehicle, which I can best identify as a former beer truck. Local police tell us this was reported stolen in another state and that the FBI have been called in to assist. Just a moment…yes apparently there is a high-speed chase going on, so we return you to the studio for the moment.’ ‘Thanks Pete. I do have an update on that story. We now go to our reporter at police headquarters - are you there Rob Abank?’ ‘Yes Chuck, and the police tell us that they are pursuing a Winnebago, but that they can’t tell us any more as the occupants have retained the services of a prominent lawyer.’ ‘Thanks, Rob - we are now flying over to Pete in the chopper’ ‘well I can’t make out much detail as there seems to be a considerable number of people in the driving seat and…oh my goodness they’ve swerved right across in front of the pursuing police cars!’ (camera pans in on a large number of cars piled on top of each other… ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/396 "1999-11-14T23:12:00Z")
Oh, hell… there’s a big pileup in front of us… Seale, better take this baby off-road… Go around the rock. And that rock- don’t hit the tree, dammit!! Oh, sweet mother. At times like this, there’s only one thing to do-- get smashed. Praise G-d and pass the tequila! ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 1999, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/397 "1999-11-14T23:29:00Z")
Wow, wouldja look at that … I happen to have here some “I Survived the Guy Stuff Thread” T-shirts that I had printed up – Only $25.00 a pop ($55.00 Canadian)! Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 1999, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/398 "1999-11-15T04:44:00Z")
that’s okay, Cristi…I understand about the need to keep husbands happy, since I happen to be one. And no, I didn’t use the moose…I was going to, but someone apparently shoved a rocket up its ass and said, “To the moose, Alice!” However, just as all was lost, a partially cooked, pre-skinned rabbit (at least I think that’s what it was) literally fell into my hands from the sky. I guess the great god Terlingua provides chili meat in times of need. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 1999, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/399 "1999-11-15T04:44:00Z")
that’s okay, Cristi…I understand about the need to keep husbands happy, since I happen to be one. And no, I didn’t use the moose…I was going to, but someone apparently shoved a rocket up its ass and said, “To the moose, Alice!” However, just as all was lost, a partially cooked, pre-skinned rabbit (at least I think that’s what it was) literally fell into my hands from the sky. I guess the great god Terlingua provides chili meat in times of need. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 1999, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/400 "1999-11-15T04:46:00Z")
that’s okay, Cristi…I understand about the need to keep husbands happy, since I happen to be one. And no, I didn’t use the moose…I was going to, but someone apparently shoved a rocket up its ass and said, “To the moose, Alice!” However, just as all was lost, a partially cooked, hairless rabbit (at least I think that’s what it was) literally fell into my hands from the sky. I guess the great god Terlingua provides chili meat in times of need. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=21)