# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 1999, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/741 "1999-12-20T01:09:00Z")
Thanks for the directions, TVeblen. Incidentally you also posted twice, but it was such a good post (scantily clad damsels frolicking!) that it was definitely worth it. I just passed a pizza delivery guy, so I know I’m getting warm. (Well bits of me are, anyway). Just a minute, Cristi - do you know what ‘cheesy poofs’ means to us English chaps? * * * Why doesn’t the sun come out at night when the light would be more useful? (Pratchett) ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 1999, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/742 "1999-12-20T03:06:00Z")
Help, I’ve got cheesy poofs in my hair! :::douses head with tequila::: Cristi, hon, do me a favor & light up, before that anomaly weasel gets wind of it… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 1999, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/743 "1999-12-20T03:42:00Z")
:::flicks Bic in direction of elelle’s cheesy-poofed 'do::: WHOA! Sorry about that, El. I didn’t realize cheesy poofs were quite so flammable. Here, let me get that Bactine. There. Just keep spraying it on, and it probably won’t scar. Now, what’s the deal with “cheesy poofs” and English chaps, glee? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 1999, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/744 "1999-12-21T06:07:00Z")
Cristi, It all depends what side of the pond you’re on. My pants go under my trousers, for example. Anyway here is the slang as requested _voice from back_ 'GET ON WITH IT!. Cheesy 1) like cheese in some way 2) (slang) tacky Poofs 1) (British slang) homosexual You can see why I blinked when elelle posted ‘Help, I’ve got cheesy poofs in my hair!’… Anyway I welcome all-comers to Guy Thread, but it certainly shows ‘we are two nations divided by a common language’. * * * Why doesn’t the sun come out at night when the light would be more useful? (Pratchett) ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 1999, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/745 "1999-12-21T06:39:00Z")
Cheesy Poofs = Tacky Homosexuals I guess Cartman won’t be asking for Cheesy Poofs anymore. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 1999, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/746 "1999-12-20T19:34:00Z")
I refuse to come unless there will be naked men there. I won’t come for just naked women. That sounded bad didn’t it? * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 1999, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/747 "1999-12-20T20:03:00Z")
Yes Ayesha, it sounded pretty bad; but we all one big happy, ummm, something. As far as naked men go, I’ve been known to drop trou in public a few times when the beer is flowing. **ZIIIIPPPPP!** * * * “A zebra does not change its spots.” ~Al Gore, 1992~ ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 1999, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/748 "1999-12-21T04:46:00Z")
Thanks MzCristi. It only hurts when I scream. At any rate, my new crispy-fried do makes it so much easier to concentrate on the important things, like tequila and that undulating enigma Uncle Beer let loose. WHOOO! Merry Chris-my-Moose! ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/749 "1999-12-22T06:23:00Z")
Oh, UncleBeer droping trou, I’m coming, I’m coming. ## Uh, I mean I’m on my way Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/750 "1999-12-22T01:56:00Z")
I’m just posting this so the next person can go… **750!** ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/751 "1999-12-22T02:35:00Z")
And UncleBeer shows up to add a much needed (though slightly aged) dose of testosterone to the “Guy Stuff” thread. I must insist that if you don’t meet the minimum testosterone threshold or sport the diminutive hormone estrogen, you immediately get drunk, disrobe, and post yourself next to the cooler should Uncle or I care for another brew. ::GBS scurries to the 24-gallon Igloo ice chest to strip:: ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/752 "1999-12-22T03:31:00Z")
GBS should slap the hell outta ChiefScott. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![David\_God\_of\_Frogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@David\_God\_of\_Frogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_God_of_Frogs)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/753 "1999-12-22T06:14:00Z")
I’m embaressed to say this, but I’ve never been able to burp loudly. Does anyone have any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/754 "1999-12-22T12:14:00Z")
Look, it’s the King of France ! OK Now Dave, belching is really easy. Take a good long sip of this here El Cheapo American Beer ™, swallow with some air, let the gasses build up in your stomach. As you feel the pressure mounting within, position yourself for the discharge. One foot slightly in front of the other (for leverage and grip purposes), slightly bend forward. Now, as the gasses start making their way up, pull your throat muscles REALLY tight, and press the escaping air through. \*\* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLCCCCCCHHHHHHH !!! \*\* Woohoo !! Now give it your best shot, Dave ! * * * Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/755 "1999-12-22T12:15:00Z")
Look, it’s the King of France ! OK Now Dave, belching is really easy. Take a good long sip of this here El Cheapo American Beer ™, swallow with some air, let the gasses build up in your stomach. As you feel the pressure mounting within, position yourself for the discharge. One foot slightly in front of the other (for leverage and grip purposes), slightly bend forward. Now, as the gasses start making their way up, pull your throat muscles REALLY tight, and press the escaping air through. \*\* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLCCCCCCHHHHHHH !!! \*\* Woohoo !! Now give it your best shot, Dave ! * * * Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/756 "1999-12-22T12:17:00Z")
## Now belch away David, I’ve explained it to you 2 times already ! Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/757 "1999-12-22T15:28:00Z")
Ayesha, I second that idea… “DIMINUTIVE” hormone??? And Chief, I ain’t getting naked until y’all make it worth my while, ya know what I mean? Besides, I could probably drink you under the table… _raising eyebrow_ * * * “Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/758 "1999-12-22T16:14:00Z")
Beating UncleBeer in a drinking contest is one thing, Falky Honey. Beating Coldfire is another. _slams a 1 liter bottle of JD on the table_ Ya reckon this table’s high enough for you to drink me under it ? ## (Note to self: try saying THAT sentence after 10 JD’s !!) Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/759 "1999-12-22T16:18:00Z")
Coldie honey…I was saying I’d drink CHIEF under the table…but I reckon this table is high enough for me to get you under it. (And lord, did THAT sound bad…) ::slams back two shots of JD…feel lucky, punk?:: * * * “Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 1999, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/760 "1999-12-22T16:29:00Z")
I’ll see your 2 JD’s, and I’ll raise ya 4 JD’s !! _slams them back, evil grin across the face_ Shhhhooooo honeeeeeey, wha… whaddayashhhay yous an’ m’self bu… booothththhhh geddunda thisssshshshh here table … EH ? ## Feel lucky NOW ? Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=39)