# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 49
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2000, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/961 "2000-02-14T12:34:00Z")
960 and counting * * * J Krusty Opinionated told me I to use American Swear words. so I will. “Bite Me” ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/962 "2000-02-14T17:42:00Z")
Falcon Honey! Whereya been, booful? Has that “feckin’ Scot” been distracting you? Wonderful! let the experiment begin! As for the drive Yue Han, I recommend used booze as a fuel source, for as that famous Paddy once said, “D’yer mind ifn it goes through m’kidneys farst?” * * * VB I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/963 "2000-02-15T04:23:00Z")
Oh, John Glenn in a G-string, we’re all snorking down on jerky, stale Cheese doodles, HoHo’s, bean dip, Tang and mayo sandwiches, cheap beer and tequila and the only fuel source you can think of is to _burn the tequila!?_ Are you _kidding?_ We’re in a hermetically sealed methane bomb. Oh, BTW, careful back by that hatch or bulkhead or whatever. Cristi passed out during that last one-and-half gainer, so I put gum on her shoe and stuck her to the wall. She kinda looks like kelp waving in a mild current, but she’ll come around pretty soon. Horsehead Nebula in a gangsters bed, don’t pour that mixture into the wiring! It may explo ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/964 "2000-02-15T05:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Twitchely: Uhh…I’d like to turn the press conference over to our legal counsel. Ms. Melin? No comment. Most definitely, no comment! ::turns, looks over shoulder:: Cristi? Falcon? I need some more of that tequila – NOW!!! -Melin ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/965 "2000-02-15T06:10:00Z")
_rummages around in bags_ Here, Melin…have the bottle of Glenfiddich I brought. You need it more than me right now. And VB…I’ve been right here! You’ve been too busy looking at Cristi doing somersaults! And as for asking directions…need I remind you clowns what happened the LAST time we tried that? Going to Cuba by way of Canada. BRILLIANT idea. Give me the damn controls…I’ll fly this baby. After a few more shots of tequila, of course. 😃 * * * “You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!” - Brian, aka SDMB’s one and only Satan. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/966 "2000-02-15T06:21:00Z")
Geez, I got a hand like a foot here. It’s not even worth the ante. Fold. Gimmee one of those Jimpson Weed Regalias that you so laughingly refer to as a cigar. And pour me a drop of Mr. Daniels. A liitle more. Fill 'er up, boy! They’ll make more. Who’s bra is this? ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/967 "2000-02-15T07:52:00Z")
Bra ? What size is it ? It doesn’t matter, in zero g all boobs stay up. Oh man my head hurts, Sealemon, fork over the tequila I need it, that tang has thined down the alcohol in my blood. Hey get a hold of this alien, if he tries to peek under my shirt again I’m gonna have to let the wombat loose on him. * * * Ayesha ---
**Author:** ![DrTar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/77aa72/32.png) [@DrTar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrTar)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/968 "2000-02-15T07:58:00Z")
Just a question Does Chalupa mean “Fat bitch” in spanish? ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/969 "2000-02-15T15:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Falcon: > [B > > And VB…I’ve been right here! You’ve been too busy looking at Cristi doing somersaults! > > \*\* Damn! Busted! _sigh_. Oh Falcon, you know you’ll always be my favourite raptor! Hey! I think Cristi’s coming to! Her nipples just went ::spung!:: 🙂 * * * VB I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/970 "2000-02-15T23:40:00Z")
Okay Vestal I’m here. Thanks for the invite! Now how do I get on this crazy ride? BTW, you asked before I am of age, so no other worries for Melin. I think she has enuff on her plate right now with all the other stuff goin’ on round here! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/971 "2000-02-16T00:00:00Z")
What the…I’m sideways. How did I get sideways? How did my foot get stuck to the wall? :::looks down at several beers lined up in a neat row, all the way down the length of her body, and smiles::: Hey guys, aren’t these supposed to be on top of my head? :::notices two beers suddenly sproinged from her chest, due to sudden nipple-hardening::: Damn. It’s cold out here in space. * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/972 "2000-02-16T00:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Kricket: > **Okay Vestal I’m here. Thanks for the invite! Now how do I get on this crazy ride? > BTW, you asked before I am of age, so no other worries for Melin. I think she has enuff on her plate right now with all the other stuff goin’ on round here! 🙂** Cool! You’re already on it! ::sniffff!:: cantcha tell by the atmosphere? As for how you got here, you were instantly transported here by your wish, and a little help from the TPT (Tequila Powered Transmogrifier [C&H, Patent Pending]) not to mention a little wire crossing courtsey of Crick&Watson! Now you’re here, go help Cristi off of the bulkhead, and help her get some clothes on before she pokes somebodys’ eye out! 😉 * * * VB I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/973 "2000-02-16T01:02:00Z")
::sips appreciatively, then chugs:: Y’know, the more of this pangalactic gargle blaster stuff ya drink, the better it tastes. At first it tasted like a urine sample from a diabetic yak but it sorta grows on ya after a few bottles. ::hic:: I dunno why NASA makes such a big, hairy deal over astronaut training. ::hic:: The only training we did was drink like fish and eat junk food, and we’re doing fine. ::watches owlishly as Ayesha and the alien play tug-o-war with her bra:: Veb ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/974 "2000-02-16T01:38:00Z")
Oy Vey, I was just passed out for a while… what the hell… You got it working?! HA! TAKE THAT DR. DOIRON!!! GIVE ME A B, WILL YOU? APPARENTLY I DON’T NEED YOUR AP PHYSICS TO BUILD A STARSHIP!!! Sorry, just had to get that out. Are you saying Kricket was brought here just because he wanted to be? That was… unforeseen. But cool, very cool. _Glances out the port_ \< shudder \> Oooooh… hyperspace makes me need more Galactabooze. Thanks, Crick. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/975 "2000-02-16T01:48:00Z")
Um…okay Cristi now we just need to find out what happened to you clothes. Please don’t tell me that they are somewhere by where they are crossing those wires with the flamables!!! And Vestal it’s a good thing that I am a Calvin & Hobbes fan other wise I wouldn’t have a clue as to how I got here, and would only think this to be a vivid dream! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/976 "2000-02-16T01:52:00Z")
I am a she by the way, but don’t sweat it! Not a fan of C&H are you? ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/977 "2000-02-16T01:56:00Z")
Oooo. I got an idea! Why don’t we use the sun’s gravatational pull to slingshot us through time and visit the past? I mean, besides falling into the sun and dieing a horrible screaming death, what’s the worst that could happen? Come _on_ guys, it worked in Star Trek! Several times! And you know how technically acurate that show is! Here, just gimmie tha wheel. I’m sure I know how to do this… * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/978 "2000-02-16T01:59:00Z")
Oh, Calvin & Hobbes is _twitch_ great. I’m John, I’ve been in charge of this mess’ transport since I stole a beer truck. Sorry I made that mistake, this hyperdrive travel is unpleasantly like being drunk… (And now, I wait for the straight line…) * * * Wo de qianzi shi Zhongwende. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/979 "2000-02-16T02:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Oooo. I got an idea! Why don’t we use the sun’s gravatational pull to slingshot us through time and visit the past? I’m completely against that idea. I’m not as stupid as some people look. I just know that a lot of you guys would love to kidnap my mother before she met my father, and if that happened then I wouldn’t… Nope. It’s a really bad idea. * * * ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/980 "2000-02-16T02:20:00Z")
These are the same people who wrecked a hijacked beer truck and they want to slingshot off the sun’s gravitational pull and mess around with the time/space continum? ::slugs back a glactic gargle sloe screw with a beer chaser:: Makes sense. Hey, Kricket, welcome aboard! Grab some of the clothes floating around and pop yourself a cool one. When you teleported on you didn’t by any chance bring along some hot wings, did you? Veb [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=48) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=50)