# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/81 "1999-11-06T06:49:00Z")
_rolls in a keg_ Yo! Nice place ya got here… HOLY what a stink! Geeeeeze Beer, get some Airwick or something…knock a buzzard off a shitwagon… _taps keg and pours a round_ Deal me in boys… Finally, a place where a guy can relax. _scratches inner ear with pinky and examines findings_ _notices the women_ So when’s the stripshow gonna start? _looks at Sue with a leer_ Hey Beer! Can ya stake me for the poker game? I am a bit short this week and ya still owe me for when i had to replace my keyboard when I spewed captain crunch all over it from reading one of your posts…you owe me dude! _quaffs beer_ _Baaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaappppp_ ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/82 "1999-11-06T07:01:00Z")
You guys come here to talk or play poker? Deal the !@#$% cards. I’m in. Who’s shy? * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/83 "1999-11-06T07:08:00Z")
Hey!! The Stooges are on Channel 35! (woopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoop) I need a beer to dip my Slim Jim™in. Put the seat DOWN? Why the hell would I put it UP? * * * JB Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/84 "1999-11-06T07:14:00Z")
Hey, sorry I’m late. I was at the video store picking up “How to Make an American Quilt” and “Pride and Prejudice.” Oh, now THERE’s a lovely gesture. Do you shake your mother’s hand with that meat hook? Well, I’ll just take this elsewhere and , oh, BTW, the dog died of aphsixiation from the rank air in here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/85 "1999-11-06T09:30:00Z")
Hey, I brought my .22! Who wants to go out back and shoot stuff? ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/86 "1999-11-06T11:20:00Z")
Hey, did I ever show you guys the homemaede rockets? (Takes drink) You just take a 2 liter bottle, fill it a third full with water, punch a hole in the cap, and work the nipple of the air compressor into the hole. What we like to do (laugh) is go out on the back porch, (drink, guffaw) and fire 'em down the hill to Old Lady Bilson’s place. She thinks the sky is raining bottles! She’s called the cops twice! (Whoo hoo!) That’s funny, y’all. Hey, don’t finish those cheese puffs off, I didn’t get any yet. (Settles down with a Home Depot catalog). ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/87 "1999-11-06T13:27:00Z")
Hey, where’s the cat? Give me five pieces of Scotch tape and the cat, and I’ll have you guys laughing your asses off… I’ll join ya for shooting shit in a sec, Babar. I gotta drink more first… * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/88 "1999-11-06T16:01:00Z")
So would shooting be like that game guys play where they throw cheerios into the bowl and try to play battleship… peeing in each one?? * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/89 "1999-11-06T16:28:00Z")
Yep, that’s the one, Sue. Only guys can play that game. We can aim. * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/90 "1999-11-06T16:33:00Z")
thats okay… we’ll keep the beer cold!! * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/91 "1999-11-06T16:49:00Z")
Hey guys… sorry I’m late… Whew… Man… someone light a match in here. I think your neighbor saw me pissing on your mailbox. Hope he isn’t a jerk about it. I brought some ceegars if anyone is interested. I’ve got H.Uppman or Partagas for the real guys, and some Swisher Sweets for the wannabes. Hey, nice couch… is that real naugahide? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/92 "1999-11-06T17:07:00Z")
Yeah, I’ll have a Partagas. Thanks. Say, Beer, what’s that fish you got mounted next to the jackalope, a carp? ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/93 "1999-11-06T17:19:00Z")
What? somebody’s got matches? He he he…check **this** out. 😃 * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/94 "1999-11-06T17:45:00Z")
_hic_ I’m not as think as you drunk I am, so go back off in your own jack yard, ocifer. _hic_ How did I get these blisters on my fingers? _hic_ Go Buckeyes! O! H! I! O! _falls on couch_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/95 "1999-11-06T17:55:00Z")
This is a perfect opportunity to get in a little **INDOOR TARGET PRACTICE!** C’mon , Sannibel! Balance that beer bottle on your head! We need a target for these shotguns, dammit! \F-A-A-R-R-TT! :BELCH!: PUKE!!! \ ``` :( ``` * * * YO-HO, ME HEARTIES! ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/96 "1999-11-06T17:58:00Z")
Man, I gotta pee. That bathroom line is so long, someone must be givin’ free blow jobs. Hey, I have an idea! zzzzziiipp “Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh”, wait for the shake. “ahhhhh”. Damnit! I should have moved the dishes first! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 1999, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/97 "1999-11-06T17:58:00Z")
Drain, let’s get some brewskis and a pizza. Then we’ll pull that tranny out of my 4x4. On second thought, forget the tranny. Boxing’s on tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/98 "1999-11-07T06:06:00Z")
\< bending over with a lit match \> **FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!** * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/99 "1999-11-07T06:30:00Z")
:: opening door :: Hey have you guys seen,… Holy at shit batman, where did that flame come from ? Get some water quick, it looks like Sealemon’s ass is on fire… Now as I was saying before my head almost became a crispy critter. Has anyone here seen the Lion ? Oh there he is, Lion quit trying to hide behind Uncle Beer ! What is that smell ? Have you guys been eating chili and doing acid in here? Lion you know what I told you about that ! Lady?!?!?! I’ll show you guys a lady, hand me that bottle of 151, ::: knocks back a double shot ::: now who’s a lady ? I’m 100 % woman ! Hi girls wanna exchange recipes ? * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/100 "1999-11-07T06:42:00Z")
No lady here… _burp_ * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=6)