# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/121 "1999-11-07T17:10:00Z")
There. Splashed some cold water on my face, Now I’m ready to par-tay some more. ahhhhhh…warm beer & cold food, the breakfast of champ…oh wait, let me get this ceegar out of the beer…there. Breakfast of champions! ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/122 "1999-11-07T19:17:00Z")
Well Sheeee-it you disappear for a week and everyone parties! _cracks open a bottle of jack and puts his feet on the table_ Any steaks left for me? By the way did you guys hear the one about the one eyed priest and the ejaculating nun? * * * Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/123 "1999-11-07T19:41:00Z")
:::walking through the busted front door::: ## Anyone know where UncleBe. . . . GOOD GAWD, it smells like a roomful of goats and monkeys! \>^,^\< KITTEN Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/124 "1999-11-07T21:34:00Z")
Hey, is there any of that 151 left? I wanna try that lighting-my-hand-on-fire trick. Aw damn…I’m outta smokes. Are there any cigars left? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/125 "1999-11-07T22:14:00Z")
Hey, Diane, that’s **my** goat, now you just get your own, hear? Go ahead and finish off this Don Q, Cristi, I’m too toasted to drink anymore, anyway. Watch out, don’t step there! Damn, looks like somebody…oh, yeah, I remember now, it was me. Uh, Donj, wake up man, **Donj, wake up!** What’d I tell you about those Lions, Eh? Sure, sure, you can pay me Friday. See you in the NFC Championship game, dude. What is this shit snack food I’m eating, anyway. POTPOURRI! Who brought this garbage?! Damn, time to book, gotta work tomorrow. Same time next week, right? * * * Reality is for people who can’t handle drugs. -Tom Waits ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/126 "1999-11-07T22:20:00Z")
Hey, the “guy” thread is beating the “girl” thread 7 to 1. What does that tell you? Guys have more fun. See you and raise a buck. * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/127 "1999-11-07T22:32:00Z")
Thats will take some pondering Wally… * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/128 "1999-11-07T22:35:00Z")
Greetings. I heard about this place on the police scanner, and just stopped by to check things out… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 1999, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/129 "1999-11-07T23:50:00Z")
“Greetings” ??? Aw man another damn college kid… sit down son and grab yourself a beer. Just cool it on the snotty language though… FFFFFFFFFFaaaaarrrrrttt !! Hey, how 'bout that Weber, has it layed an egg yet ? I need some dead meat over here ! Hey guys !! I’ll betcha 5 bucks I can open this here beer bottle with me teeth ! ## _CRAAAAAACKKKK…_ Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/130 "1999-11-08T00:22:00Z")
::sticks head in:: ::sniffs:: ::flees:: Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/131 "1999-11-08T00:49:00Z")
Cold… I’m more amazed every single day at your talents… and now for your encore??..burp… mmm gotta love garlic… girls shall we just sit back and see what they have up their sleeves now? * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/132 "1999-11-08T01:01:00Z")
I’ll show you talent… Hey guys check it out, it’s DICKS ON THE TABLE TIME !! ## Anyone got a ruler ? Time to get some … uh… pecking order in here eh ? Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/133 "1999-11-08T01:06:00Z")
Just spiffed up my workbench. A place for everything and everything in it’s place. I don’t know what the tools are for, but now I know where they go. Yep, I’m a guy. Where’s my shoes? * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/134 "1999-11-08T01:38:00Z")
Hello, everybody… Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, is there a gas leak in here? Good God! Whew! Coldfire, please return your little one-eyed friend to his home… Anyway, has anybody seen my cat? She’s a tabby, answers to the name Ginger, she’s usually home right at suppertime, but- Hey! Is that ginger? That better not be… Yes, it is! My god, Ginger, what happened? Okay, who shaved my pussy… let me rephrase that… who shaved my kitty… STOP LAUGHING! WHY THE HELL DOESN’T MY CAT HAVE ANY FUR??? And what’s this? Scotch tape? You’ll be hearing from the ASPCA about this! Hey! Stop pushing! I’m going to call the police! Don’t push me out the- (Slam!) ## (Opens door) And give me back my cat! (Someone throws cat, who clings to neuro’s face with claws) Phangg ooo berry mush… God is dead. -Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. -God Neitzsche is God. -Dead ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/135 "1999-11-08T03:53:00Z")
I have a measuring tape right here…no, you can measure it yourself. My husband knows I’m here, and he’s okay with it, but I’ve got to draw the line at touching strange penises. Hey! That’s cheating! You’re supposed to measure along the _top,_ not from your asshole forward! Geez. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/136 "1999-11-08T04:33:00Z")
Ever since I saw ColdFire’s IQ thread, I was wondering when he’d get around to this. So, any of the wimen here wanna help me “prep” for this survey? \< ducks a thrown beer bottle, gets tagged by the second bottle \> Sumbitch! You monkeys forget I still have some matches and a bad case of gas… * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/137 "1999-11-08T13:35:00Z")
Whoa, glad I woke up in time for work. Hey, all you drunks, I gotta run to the office for a few hours of meaningless labor. Let yourselves out whenever you want. I’ve got the cleaning service coming in this afternoon to disinfect this place. Ya’ll can take the leftover food and beer with ya. Oooooh, my frickin’ head hurts. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/138 "1999-11-08T14:03:00Z")
Hey! Is _that_ supposed to be _on fire_??? ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/139 "1999-11-08T14:55:00Z")
Whoa! Hold up, Unc! Carpool! Carpool! Dammit. My fingers still have blisters on them from that damn Statue of Liberty. Better call to check on Cristi’s when I get to work. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/140 "1999-11-08T15:05:00Z")
_moseys up the back steps_ Aw shit…that ain’t no damn barbeque. Let me show you how to get a fire goin’. Stand the fuck back you skirts. Hand me that lighter fluid…yeah I know it’s already lit, I ain’t that drunk yet…gas grill?..whats your point? **-Plltthhhh- -whooooosh-** Now that’s a barbeque!!! _steps inside_ -sniff, sniff- What’s that smell? Meatloaf?? Mmmm, that’ll go good with the Porterhouse and Taters. OOOO keg! Come quick, somebody pick up my feet! How 'bout one of you broads come and pump! …I mean the keg you little tramp. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-… Beeeeeeeellllllchhhhhh!!! Mmmm, last nights pizza, tasty! So, how ‘bout them Bears, whipped them fuckin’ cheeseheads! Where’s UncleBeer? He owes me $150!! Cheap Bastard! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=8)