# Guy Stuff **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 1999, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130 "1999-11-05T19:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Sucellus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Sucellus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sucellus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/141 "1999-11-08T15:20:00Z")
Why the hell they gotta put those kind of commercials on during the game…you want to feel fresh ?!..here’s fresh… …whooaa!..someone open a window! * * * Eagles may soar high, but weasles don’t get sucked into jet engines. ---
**Author:** ![mikehardware](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mikehardware](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikehardware)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/142 "1999-11-08T15:23:00Z")
Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I knew the party was around here somewhere, so I just kept on driving till I found it. I brought the fireworks! Anyone need some bottle rockets, Roman candles, fire crackers, M80s, or cherry bombs? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/143 "1999-11-08T15:41:00Z")
Hey, dudes, I’m back, and I brought my quad-runner. All those still capable of sitting upright are welcome to enter the circle-the-house time trial competition. By the way, is wearing a hairless weasel on your face the latest in women’s fashion now? ---
**Author:** ![Sucellus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Sucellus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sucellus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/144 "1999-11-08T15:47:00Z")
Just let that stuff dry…it’s a hell of alot easier to clean up when it’s crunchy. * * * Eagles may soar high, but weasles don’t get sucked into jet engines. ---
**Author:** ![Sucellus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Sucellus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sucellus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/145 "1999-11-08T15:53:00Z")
:::returning from bathroom and opening fridge::: Don’t tell UncleBeer, but I filled his Cruex bottle with chili powder…jeeeezus…who the hell brought the frickin’ Cranberry Wheat Beer…don’t make me kill again! * * * Eagles may soar high, but weasles don’t get sucked into jet engines. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/146 "1999-11-08T16:05:00Z")
::::shaking head:::: blblblblblb…okay, I’m awake now. Mercy. How long have I been here? Good thing I’ve still got another week off work. My hand hurts. Holy shit…are those scorch marks on my cuff? Did I…? I did. I lit my damn hand on fire, didn’t I? I poured alcohol on my own skin, and set flame to it. I don’t believe me. Well, I hope I had a good time. I’m going to the kitchen to forage. Someone come with me. I’m still a little hung over, and I don’t want to accidentally set my head on fire. ---
**Author:** ![Sucellus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Sucellus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sucellus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/147 "1999-11-08T16:12:00Z")
Is it jus me, or is the stuffed deer head on the wall droolin? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/148 "1999-11-08T16:15:00Z")
I heard someone was being mean to cats here. ::glaring at Sealemon:: Just remember guys, I know how to neuter you. You can do whatever you like to yourselves or to each other, but let’s leave the innocent animals out of this! ::glances around the room and walks out, muttering,“Guess I am glad to be a cat lady after all…”:: ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/149 "1999-11-08T16:16:00Z")
Okay, I’m back. I got sent home from work for smellin’ like a brewery; at least I stopped and got more beer and cash from the ATM Let me get back to that poker game. Omniscient, here’s your $150. Now deal. Where’d that beer go and who’s makin’ breakfast? * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/150 "1999-11-08T16:21:00Z")
Who is this person next to me? And how did I wind up in the gardening shed? And where are my pants? * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/151 "1999-11-08T16:27:00Z")
I heard Cold and Wally were cookin… Whats that burning smell??? * * * “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/152 "1999-11-08T16:33:00Z")
_tucking his member back in_ Uhhhh o well… aces high ? Gimme another beer, that’ll cure that splitting headache… sllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllluuuuuuuuurpppppppppppp… AAAAAAAhhhhhh… that hit the spot alright. ## Uh, about that deer head, sorry 'bout that. You know how it is with tequila. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/153 "1999-11-08T16:35:00Z")
Holy granola! Four flippin’ pages for this BS. Are we pathetic or what? Pass me a **bellllllchhhh…ahhhh** cold one. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/154 "1999-11-08T16:39:00Z")
Jumpin Jesus with a bucket of biscuits! Looks like someone violated the tazmanian devil remote control holder again. Look, Spice TV is having a 24 hour anal bonanza on! Since you’re already making breakfast could someone get me some gin and a pork chop? * * * Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/155 "1999-11-08T16:55:00Z")
Thish jush might be tha bestest Mundame Pointer shtuffff **ever**. **I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!** \< eyes roll back in head, passes out with a nice, loud THUD. \> * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/156 "1999-11-08T17:04:00Z")
I, too, nominate this very thread for the Classics Gallery. Now, enough with that fancy talk. Read these here 4 aces and weep !! _high fives all around_ RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiippppp… Yee-haw ! And it’s on sale, too ! BTW, the toilet looks kinda messy, so I just screwed my new Bumper Dumper to the back of my car - you’re all free to use it as lang as you don’t spraypaint my rear window. ## Pass me another one, Unc. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/157 "1999-11-08T17:44:00Z")
Hey guys, sorry I’m late, I would’ve been here earlier but I knocked on the wrong damn door man. Jeez, there’s a screaming woman running ‘round on the porch with a weasle hanging offa her and a bunch of wimmin next door talkin’ 'bout curtains 'n babies 'n shit. Whatsay we go over there and liven things up some, PANTYRAID!!! * * * It only hurts when I laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/158 "1999-11-09T06:47:00Z")
Okay, since I’ve been having so much fun here this weekend, I decided to make y’all brunch. There’s pancakes, bacon and eggs, and hash browns. Don’t worry, I cut the eyes out of the potatoes before I sliced them. And the bacon is cooked really, really well…it looked older than me. There’s cereal too, and slices of milk. Yes, slices. Eat up! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 1999, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/159 "1999-11-09T06:54:00Z")
Oh, I think I’m gonna sick. Umph. Get out of my way! Blurrgh. **Get out of my way!** SPLARGH! Ohhhh, God, what was I thinking? Tequila and Kool-Aid. I’ll never touch Kool-Aid again. * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 1999, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130/160 "1999-11-08T20:14:00Z")
Okay everybody, listen up, I’ve got a delivery here. Which one of you is named I. P. Frehley? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guy-stuff/14130.md?page=9)