# Guys (and gals), how attractive was the first person that you had sex with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 24, 2014, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465 "2014-11-24T05:10:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/81 "2014-11-26T02:55:52Z")
I responded to the high school guy who was going through what I went throught, so I may as well do the same now. First of all, my first partner was fairly nice looking. I was a senior in college, and she was my first girl friend. We had nothing in common, and it went past one date because I was desperate to date somebody and she was desperate to get married. I’m not proud that I let it go for a few months. She was dating a week or so after we broke up, and I would not get past a first date again for another seven years. This woman broke up with me after a few months, and I’m sure my lack of daring experience made it harder. Less than a year later I met the woman I’be been married to for 18 years. Along the way I was rejected by some absolutely gorgeous women and some average looking ones. I was, and to agree still am, socially challenged. When I was trying to date I was paralyzed by fear of rejection. Big surprise, I was rejected a lot. Am I good looking? My wife thinks so, and the women who dumped me didn’t do it because of my looks. I really don’t know, since I’m not into guys. Anyway, if I hadn’t met the right woman at the right time I might still be bitching and moaning about not being able to find anybody at 50. Funny thing is I’ve mostly gotten further with better looking women. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/82 "2014-11-26T03:34:57Z")
Unfortunately, quite out of my league, appearance wise. Left me with unreasonable expectations. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/83 "2014-11-26T03:47:48Z")
So attractive that 56 years later my knees still go weak when I think about him. Perfect height and weight. Killer eyes and smile. Great sense of humor. And the very best sex I ever had. My big mistake was thinking I’d feel that way about someone else someday. I never did. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/84 "2014-11-26T04:01:15Z")
Getting to the point rather than your literal question, your friend seems to be leading you down a road of empty sex and objectifying women. Your friend sounds like a “pickup artist.” If that’s what you want, then go for it. But I’m not getting that vibe reading your whole post. > [@2ManyTacos](#): > > …at his age (25) he has already slept with several different women in addition to the handful of long-term SO’s that he’s already had. What do consider a “long-term SO”? Age 25 seems young to me to have had a “handful.” IHMO one year is a bare minimum for “long-term” but everyone’s got their own yardstick. So to answer your question, my first was a college girlfriend who was kind of cute. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/85 "2014-11-26T04:27:45Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > Don’t change a thing about yourself, \*\*Lemmytheseal2 \*\*. Just find **clairobscur** ’s ex and date her. > . You see, I met her because I was in the same kind of things she was. I guess I should have instead changed and involved myself into things that were more popular amongst girls than politics, create a persona and pretend that I was interested in those things too, easily fooling the unsuspecting girls (while sentencing myself to do things I had no interest in). My mistake. You seriously think that political activism is a rarity amongst women? It reminds me of a comic involving a guy faking interest in politics and joining a party just in order to get into the pants of the hot activists. Not the most stupid plan, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/86 "2014-11-26T11:15:32Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > You see, I met her because I was in the same kind of things she was. I guess I should have instead changed and involved myself into things that were more popular amongst girls than politics, create a persona and pretend that I was interested in those things too, easily fooling the unsuspecting girls (while sentencing myself to do things I had no interest in). My mistake. > > You seriously think that political activism is a rarity amongst women? > > It reminds me of a comic involving a guy faking interest in politics and joining a party just in order to get into the pants of the hot activists. Not the most stupid plan, if you ask me. Are you a conservative or libertarian by any chance? Because in my experience politically active liberals are far more likely to be women than men. Often very cute women. Unfortunately being interested and active in politics has almost nothing to do with going on long winded tirades all the time. The bottom line is, if you’re 32, have never been in a relationship, and have had extremely limited romantic success, it makes sense to assess why that is and probably make some changes. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/87 "2014-11-26T17:03:04Z")
What’s ‘sex’? If third base is sex, she was a stunner. If not, then she was pretty but not a beauty queen. ---
**Author:** ![Yarster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@Yarster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yarster)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/88 "2014-11-26T18:29:42Z")
I would say I am of average looks and at 23 I was also a virgin, having only gotten as far as a handjob from previous women I had dated. Then one night, a girl I knew (who was just a friend and who I was not interested in) asked me to go to a Jewish singles event. While I am Jewish, I am totally non-religious and really wasn’t interested in going. She only wanted me to attend so I could be her “out” in case the event sucked or she need protection from any of the other men. When we got there, I learned that a) a lot of the women there were divorced and horny 2) the other Jewish men there, by comparison, made me look better than average because they were short, fat, and bald. That was how I met Susan. She was 38, had two kids, was divorced, but looked like Linda Carter from back when she did Wonder Woman. We only went out three or four times before we had sex but she was really interested in the fact I was a virgin. In retrospect, the sex was just o.k., because by comparison the next woman I met, who was herself a virgin at 26 and truthfully not as physically attractive, absolutely rocked my world and we’ve been married 17 years now. Yes, I have only had sex with two women, and she with only one man, but we are still madly in love. Don’t give up hope. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/89 "2014-11-28T17:00:32Z")
Eh, one of the things that I have considered in the past is the possibility that I might be somehow giving off an _asexual vibe_ to the women I’m interested in. I don’t know the lengths to which that could be considered a turn-off - I imagine that guys would be far more turned off by that than women - but I have thought about it regardless. Other posters have brought up the whole sex drive deal, so that’s my contribution to that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![skdo23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@skdo23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skdo23)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/90 "2014-11-28T17:59:58Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > How attractive was the first person you had sex with? I’m no hand model, but as long as I keep my nails trimmed and moisturize as needed my first partner isn’t that bad to look at. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/91 "2014-11-28T18:10:52Z")
He was tall and good looking, my new husband on our wedding night. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/92 "2014-11-28T18:20:13Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > Advice…Look in the mirror and rate yourself 1 through 10. No one except Quasimodo is a 1 and no one is a 10. If you can honestly say you’re a 5, than pickup a 6, but no higher than 6.5. And you should try out a 4.5 or a 5. You never know, she might be the best lay ever and grow into a great long term girlfriend. > You’re 23…just get it out of your system. I’ve encountered this in other threads, but do people really think this way? How do you differentiate b/w a four and a five, let alone a 4.5? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/93 "2014-11-28T19:47:28Z")
My first was 36 years old, very sexy but a rough complexion. I was 14. The only 10 I ever slept with was very drunk. I usually hang with my perceived number of about 7 moderately attractive by most standards but actually most appealing to me. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/94 "2014-11-28T20:33:31Z")
Dingo ugly. Bad having your first screw and imagining it is someone else. ---
**Author:** ![susanlinda823](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@susanlinda823](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susanlinda823)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/95 "2014-11-28T20:36:15Z")
My first time was with a guy I thought was super good looking and badass. Haha, Oh how I have learn t! My first time was not memorable. Not at all. But hey. Maybe your standards are ridiculously high. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/96 "2014-11-28T20:41:22Z")
I realised pretty quickly if you lower your standards you’d never be idle. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2014, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/97 "2014-12-17T22:37:13Z")
Mine was pretty effing awesome. Although she was at least a 9.5, and probably a 10, if one looked at her nose with the harsh eye that I usually use when determining whether or not a female is keepworthy or not, one would see that her nose was, with the ravages of time, destined to look like Karl Malden’s. Sorry, all of the images that I googled didn’t give his nose justice, so, I couldn’t provide a link. I think if you google ‘Streets of San Francisco’, you can see what his nose/her future nose, looked like. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/98 "2014-12-18T19:59:54Z")
Her body was a 9 and her face was a solid 7. Of course, I’d rank myself at about a 6 at the time, so the fact that she was as hot as she was, and offering to take my virginity (having lost hers already), I was not about to turn her down. On the other hand, she soon proved herself to be batshit crazy. And from what I recall, it’s not as if she showed me a world of unexpected pleasures, or anything. She essentially just made herself available for me in a sexual way, but didn’t actually do more than lay there and open her legs. Not that it mattered. I’m not sure I lasted 30 seconds the first time. When we went for round two a couple hours later, I remember pumping away thinking, “isn’t she supposed to, like, move or something?” ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465/99 "2014-12-18T21:53:24Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’ve encountered this in other threads, but do people really think this way? How do you differentiate b/w a four and a five, let alone a 4.5? Yeah, I’m hesitant to even assign ratings in whole numbers. I’m likely to rate someone a 4 or 5, or a 6 or 7. So, really, I’m only using a five-point scale even if I’m asked to put it on a 1-10 range. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-and-gals-how-attractive-was-the-first-person-that-you-had-sex-with/705465.md?page=4)