# Guys: Could you forgive a woman for this? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2008, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807 "2008-07-26T01:32:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/1 "2008-07-26T01:32:06Z")
I was watching the show Queen Bees (yeah, a bad reality show, but… that’s beside the point). One of the girls admitted that she lied about being pregnant to her boyfriend of 2+ years, then told him she had a miscarriage. She realized it was wrong and said she was going to confess to him. Could you forgive your SO if she lied to you about being pregnant? Assume you’re in a relationship, you love her, and she’s contrite about it. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to if I were a guy, but since I can’t be in that position, I wanted to ask men what they thought. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/2 "2008-07-26T01:36:31Z")
Woman here, but I’d say that’s a recipe for future manipulation. I’d have to say _see ya._ ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/3 "2008-07-26T01:38:22Z")
That would be a deal breaker. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/4 "2008-07-26T01:47:48Z")
Why would anyone do a thing like that? Especially to someone she supposedly loves? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/5 "2008-07-26T01:53:32Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Why would anyone do a thing like that? Especially to someone she supposedly loves? [/QUOTE] The girl on the show is a totally self-centered bitch who was using a pregnancy to control her boyfriend. It “brought them closer” and caused him to spend more time with her. I think she wanted to refocus his attention onto her. I guess it worked, esp. with the post-“miscarriage” grieving they did together. She seems to realize that she did a horrible thing and want to atone. That said, I’d be so horrendously pissed I would probably hate her and never speak to her again, for the grieving if nothing else. But she seems to think he loves her enough to forgive her. She might be in for a rude awakening. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/6 "2008-07-26T01:55:03Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Why would anyone do a thing like that? Especially to someone she supposedly loves? [/QUOTE] You’re spelling it wrong…it’s L-U-V. Or possibly W-U-V. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/7 "2008-07-26T02:06:49Z")
I doubt it. That’s fucked up in the extreme. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/8 "2008-07-26T02:08:01Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Could you forgive your SO if she lied to you about being pregnant? Assume you’re in a relationship, you love her, and she’s contrite about it. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to if I were a guy, but since I can’t be in that position, I wanted to ask men what they thought. [/QUOTE] If the sex was good enough. ---
**Author:** ![sangfroid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@sangfroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangfroid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/9 "2008-07-26T02:10:43Z")
Ooh, boy. This is a nasty one, IMO. I (exclusively) dated my wife for several years before we decided to tie the knot. We married with the full intention of starting a family. After halting birth control and several months of actively trying to conceive, “we” finally had a pregnancy to look forward to (it can take a while for a woman’s system to adjust after some years of birth control, according to the docs and midwife). Personally, I was ecstatic! As was the Lady sangfroid. But to fake such a serious and life-altering situation? Not to mention the other end, miscarriage? We know people who have experienced the misfortune of miscarriage, and it can be devastating to the couple. So, someone fakes this, then acts contrite? Sorry, but if there isn’t a situation here where some kind of serious mental illness is involved, I have to say this ranks up there on the not-readily-forgivable list. As mentioned by **Kalhoun** , major manipulation, anyone? Ugh. s/f ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/10 "2008-07-26T02:13:17Z")
No, never. Thats the kind of thing that completely changes your opinion about a person for ever. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/11 "2008-07-26T02:33:58Z")
Even if the boyfriend forgives her, that’s gonna ruin the relationship. Forgiveness can heal wounds but it takes time for the scar to fade. For that matter, it’d be a deal breaker for me as well. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/12 "2008-07-26T02:48:59Z")
After my first child, and then divorce, I got a vastecomy. I dated quite a few women for a long time. One of them called me to tell me she was pregnant. My response… “Oh… really… Who’s the father?” (yes… I had told her I had been vastecomized… must of slipped her mind) Turned out she wasn’t preggers… That relationship ended the next day (When I saw her in person)… FML ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/13 "2008-07-26T04:33:54Z")
Buh bye. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/14 "2008-07-26T05:15:23Z")
Woman here. A pregnancy I could almost forgive someone lying about, but a miscarriage? Someone putting her SO through a undoubtedly horrible grieving process, as well needing him to support her own (faked) grief? The next sound should be the door slamming in her face. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/15 "2008-07-26T05:28:57Z")
I had a somewhat psycho roommate who pulled something like that, for the attention I guess. I’d call it a complete deal-breaker. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/16 "2008-07-26T06:06:52Z")
Assuming I actually believed her the first time around? No. Assuming I already knew she was a shallow manipulative wench but didn’t want to call her out on this on the off chance she wasn’t lying? I’d view her confession as a sign of weakness and exploit it to bend her to my whim, because I’d probably _also_ be shallow and manipulative. The concept of “trust” and “forgiveness” would be foreign to me, so I guess the answer is still “No”. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/17 "2008-07-26T07:07:55Z")
An ex of mine did just that. Though skeptical I said that I would do the decent thing .(even though it was the last thing that I wanted ) Not long afterwards it turned out to be a mistake surprise,surprise. Maybe if I actually had wanted a kid I might have been outraged but as I didn’t I wasn’t. I’m prettysure that her mother put her up to it to test my committment. Mind you the hate/hate relationship me and her mum shared it might have been a ruse to try and make me do a fast exit and get me replaced with a more manageable substitute. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/18 "2008-07-26T07:42:44Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Could you forgive your SO if she lied to you about being pregnant? [/quote] No. > [@](#): > > _Assume you’re in a relationship, you love her, and she’s contrite about it._ Irrelevant. The love dies instantly. Immediate and irrevocable dumpage. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/19 "2008-07-26T08:48:42Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Could you forgive your SO if she lied to you about being pregnant? Assume you’re in a relationship, you love her, and she’s contrite about it. [/QUOTE] Well… The “love” part makes the question tricky because it’s difficult to say in advance what one could do if one if infatuated enough. It normally should be completely and absolutely unforgivable. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807/20 "2008-07-26T11:10:33Z")
If she was evil enough to do such a thing, I’d assume that she would try to hurt me if I dumped her, so I’d plan out an exit strategy to minimize the damage she could do to me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-could-you-forgive-a-woman-for-this/457807.md?page=2)