# Guys, do you appreciate your partner making the house a non-utilitarian home ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2011, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430 "2011-07-18T11:37:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/21 "2011-07-19T16:38:15Z")
The poll isn’t constructed very well if considered in context of the OP. There is a huge gulf between “non-utilitarian” and “unusable.” The OP mentions a complaint about something being rendered unusable, and the poll seems to assume that a guy wants a spartan bachelor pad if he objects to impractical decorations. Of _course_ I want my house to look nice and be tastefully decorated. And of course I’m going to grouse is the bed is ordinarily kept under four regular utilitarian pillows, two oversize throws, and four mini throws, even if they match perfectly. (This example is not an exaggerated hypothetical, it is an actual woman’s idea of “nice” decor.) Sure, the made-up bed looks like something out of _Boudoir Illustrated_, but the amount of time I’m going to spend admiring it is not worth removing and replacing eight useless objects 500 times every year. Double that when you add silk sheets so _everything slides off the fecking edge of the bed seven times before you get it perfectly balanced._ Similarly, a cosy over a padded toilet seat which matches the hand towels may present a pleasing aesthetic effect as far as some people’s taste is concerned, and I may even tolerate it even if I personally feel it’s a bit tacky - but if it means that the 1000 times I’m going to stand to pee over the course of the year I’m going to have to use one hand to keep the seat in the raised position, then that ridiculous fecking thing is going to have to go - and that doesn’t mean I’d be happy to live in a concrete bunker with milk-crate bookshelves and a card table. Good decor is not ridiculous or impractical. That doesn’t make it utilitarian. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/22 "2011-07-19T16:58:42Z")
…somehow my reading comprehension utterly failed on the first line of the OP. Sorry 'bout that. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/23 "2011-07-19T17:00:29Z")
Well, it was a nice rant, anyway. {Pats **Larry’s** hand.} ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/24 "2011-07-19T17:29:37Z")
I didn’t vote because I live alone, but I’ll chime in and suggest that this might be one of those things that people appreciate without realizing it. We had a discussion some time ago about the attractiveness of a well-dressed woman with makeup versus one without. I suspect that many men are drawn to the former often without knowing why; they appreciate the effect without being aware of all the details that go into that effect. With home decor etc., the same phenomenon may be at work. A guy may find and appreciate the fact that his home is cozy and homey without realizing the source of that ambiance. And if you were to ask him specifically whether he likes the glass cabinet with all the jade nicknacks, the curtains that match the couch pillows, and the new bathroom rug, he’d probably say no. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/25 "2011-07-19T20:45:45Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Very well put. When I was a kid, there were towels hanging in the bathroom that we weren’t allowed to use… My mother had the good sense to keep the towels we were never allowed to use hidden away with the dishes we never at off of. > [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > …Similarly, a cosy over a padded toilet seat which matches the hand towels may present a pleasing aesthetic effect as far as some people’s taste is concerned, and I may even tolerate it even if I personally feel it’s a bit tacky - but if it means that the 1000 times I’m going to stand to pee over the course of the year I’m going to have to use one hand to keep the seat in the raised position, then that ridiculous fecking thing is going to have to go… I’m convinced my grandmother did that for no other reason then forcing my grandfather & any male visitors to pee sitting down. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/26 "2011-07-20T20:10:24Z")
I do not have a wife, but would be totally indifferent to such things. If it made her happy to do, I’d go along. The only way it would be an issue is if she were to get angry because I didn’t do it with her. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/27 "2011-07-21T12:14:06Z")
I appreciate it, but only in the sense that I don’t feel embarrassed to have people over. For someone with OCD, I’m pretty untidy. It’s close to that OCD guy on _Queer Eye for the Straight Guy_ (which I watched so I could look good for other people.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/28 "2011-07-21T12:38:30Z")
Middlebro’s lack of interest in decorating was causing huge blowups from his bride, before Mom and I took her aside and explained that when he says “I don’t care either way, whichever one you like is fine by me” it doesn’t mean “why should I give a fuck about our house”, it means “since I would be happy sleeping in a shoebox and you wouldn’t, I’ll be happy to get whichever decorative item your prefer so long as it’s within our budget”. He likes having a house with sofas but, when by himself, is still perfectly happy to sleep in a shoebox. The only times he’ll put his foot down on decorating stuff is when whatever she wants is over acceptable budget (like that 4000€ table she wanted for the hall - the one they actually got was 150€). Littlebro on the other hand is unmarried but quite the decorator. Neither of my family’s decorators are what we call “department store style”, which is what I think **Hello Again** hates as much as I do. Figurines nobody likes but which have been bought because “they’re collectible!”; matching carpet, throw rugs, bedspread and throw pillows… nope, not us. Solid furniture all the way and if a knick-knack breaks, you make sure nobody got hurt, say “oh well” and toss the fragments. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/29 "2011-07-21T12:38:50Z")
I feel like I should put up some kind of decorations on the walls or something, but I’m so aesthetically challenged I wouldn’t even know where to begin. So I leave it bare and practical. If (the hypothetical) she wants to decorate, fine, as long as I’m not involved. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/30 "2011-07-21T13:12:22Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I drew the line at dust ruffles on the beds. Damn things make it impossible to tuck in a sheet, just get jammed in under the mattress Under our bed are the extra doors that came with our entertainment center, the extra leaves from our dining table, and the chest containing our sterling silver flatware. The dust ruffle conceals all that, and keeps the dog hair out where I can vacuum instead of having to get the sweeper under the bed all the time. It’s well worth the effort in making the bed. My husband was worried our bedroom would be too masculine for me; I was worried it would be too feminine for him. We have great taste! ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430/31 "2011-07-21T15:26:04Z")
He appreciates any cleaning I do (we clean in equal amounts, though he washes the dishes more since I cook more) and he greatly appreciates any and all cooking I do since his mother bakes and boils everything in sight. I’m a master chef to him. He’ll admire my vast spice collection with aww-inducing “Honey, most people don’t have 25 spices and actually USE them all routinely!” He loves that I can nail a flavor profile with spicy, sweet and savory all at once. But, ah, paintings and decorations - we both could take 'em or leave 'em. We both enjoy Escher type stuff and hudson river inlays have a artsy friend who does paintings and drawings who we’ll choose to support in years to come. But as to where to put them - that’s all on him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-appreciate-your-partner-making-the-house-a-non-utilitarian-home/589430.md?page=1)