# Guys - do you feel an 'ick' factor if you see a gay couple kiss? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 25, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787 "2012-03-25T20:26:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jasper\_Kent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@Jasper\_Kent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasper_Kent)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/81 "2012-03-26T19:52:50Z")
IMHO, it’s not hard-wired. Y’all can argue about that all you want; it’s kind of like the chicken or the egg question. I’m a straight 52yr-old male and no, it doesn’t gross me out. I think it’s sweet when any two people express their love in public (within reason). When there’s a lot of tongue action and groping, my reaction is the standard “Get a room!”-- no matter who it is. And really, shouldn’t they go ahead and get a room? There’s only so much you can do in public without getting arrested. That said, I confess to the common straight man’s reaction to lesbians kissing: _ **"That’s hot!"** _… and I don’t really care what they look like. Call me weird. I’ve been called worse. ---
**Author:** ![efyou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4da419/32.png) [@efyou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/efyou)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/82 "2012-03-26T20:39:38Z")
I do if it’s in public and it’s more than just a quick smooch. I feel the same thing with straight couples too. A quick peck doesn’t bother me at all but it’s the make out session that gets me… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/83 "2012-03-26T20:45:53Z")
I’m sure that at some point it did weird me out a bit, so I chose the third option. It’s not something that would even register for me now. ---
**Author:** ![snailboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@snailboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snailboy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/84 "2012-03-26T21:04:08Z")
I put yes. I’m a little uneased by it, but not much. It’s probably mainly because I haven’t seen it often. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/85 "2012-03-26T21:06:42Z")
**Guys - do you feel an ‘ick’ factor if you see a gay couple kiss?** Straight guy speaking. No. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/86 "2012-03-26T21:10:54Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > First of all, of the two of you, Chefguy is the one acting like an adult. You’ve been pitching a fit since you arrived in the thread. To those attempting to rationalize away their reactions to men kissing perhaps. Using this same logic chain however, since malted milk balls make me gag, I can only assume it’s a hardwired reaction but that’s just, like, my opinion man. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/87 "2012-03-26T21:25:16Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > To those attempting to rationalize away their reactions to men kissing perhaps. > > Using this same logic chain however, since malted milk balls make me gag, I can only assume it’s a hardwired reaction but that’s just, like, my opinion man. Are you saying there’s no possible rational explanation? I’m sure mister nyc will be along shortly to stomp his feet and demand a cite. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/88 "2012-03-26T21:52:34Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Using this same logic chain however, since malted milk balls make me gag, I can only assume it’s a hardwired reaction but that’s just, like, my opinion man. That’s ridiculous. You obviously _love_ malted milk balls, but have been conditioned by society to retch when you eat them. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/89 "2012-03-26T22:02:37Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > While he’s assembling his, maybe you could present your own evidence that it’s a socialized reaction? (Or is this just to be a “nuh-_uh_!” / “is _so_!” style of debate?) There’s evidence in this very thread - both the men who have said it presents no problem with them genuinely, and then men like **jjimm** who it used to bother but now it doesn’t (partly due to familiarity I’m guessing). If it’s innate, no amount of exposure to it would stop you feeling squicked out. You can train yourself not to react so violently to the smell of spoiled food, but you can’t ever stop yourself finding it offensive to your nose. Moreover, what about people who are brought up in gay households where seeing two men kiss is as much a non-event as a heterosexual parental couple is? People are tossing Dan Savage around, well, what about his son? Do you think he sees his fathers kissing and shudders and thinks “urgh, that’s gross?” because they happen to be men? To be clear, innate does not mean “it’s something that I feel I have no control over” or “I’ve felt this way as long as I can remember”, it’s something that affects everyone beneath the conscious or subconscious level (somewhere in the more primitive, animal brain structure where our instincts are housed). You can have varying responses to two men kissing - you will always jump at the sound of a loud noise. One is innate, one is not. Do I need to provide anything more or is this post just me saying “nu uh!”? Oh, and whilst we’re on the subject, what is it with people in threads desperately trying to point out how much of a cry baby/child/dick head/squeeling pig/shrieker someone is in their behaviour? Attacking someone’s behaviour does not alter their argument, no matter how bad it is, so do yourself a favour and save yourself the effort - if someone is behaving that badly their behaviour will speak for itself. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/90 "2012-03-26T22:10:05Z")
I can recall being younger and being icked out. But I’m not even sure if it was being icked. More like being confronted with something I didn’t get on a personal level. Makes sense? But I’m old and wise now. Since I reached the age of reason, and figured out it wasn’t a big deal it doesn’t bother me any more than seeing two opposite sex people kissing. I mean, it’s all in context, right. Any two people on the planet giving each other a kiss on the street … who cares? Any two people slobbering over each other on a sidewalk bench in a full-on grope match … well who needs that? I mean, besides them. Besides … not something I’ve mentioned on the boards before, but my son is gay. He’ll be 20 this summer and he came out to me 5 years ago on Christmas morning. And then 30 minutes later he introduced me to his boyfriend. It was a pretty interesting day. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/91 "2012-03-26T22:38:14Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Are you saying there’s no possible rational explanation? I’m sure mister nyc will be along shortly to stomp his feet and demand a cite. I have my own suppositions about where this disgust comes from but they’re merely suppositions. I will say that in terms of social conditioning vs. innateness, there’s more evidence for the former in that there is far from a universal reaction to the same stimulus, there’s reports of people changing attitudes and reactions over time and the mere fact that a number of people feel similarly about something doesn’t mean that it’s hardwired. I’m sure if I gave everyone in this thread 20 bucks, they’d be pleased yet I wouldn’t immediately leap to assuming being pleased at receiving money is something hardwired into humans. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2012, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/92 "2012-03-26T22:38:48Z")
Are the two guys really hunky? Because that would be kind of hot. Otherwise it’s just sweet. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/93 "2012-03-27T03:15:40Z")
Amongst our primate cousins, and in many human societies, male-male sexual behavior is quite common. The ‘ick’ factor is cultural, not biological. > [@](#): > > Study 2 found that high endorsers of masculine role norms (particularly anti-femininity) report stronger moral disgust to male homosexual behavior. Study 3 found that when men are threatened with the suspicion that they appear to be gay, they express moral disgust; regardless of the sexual orientation of the person directing the threat. Results from studies 2 and 3 indicate that moral judgments to male homosexuality derive from the repudiation of femininity, and that this relationship is mediated by feelings of disgust. [Cite](http://gradworks.umi.com/33/36/3336104.html). ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/94 "2012-03-27T05:00:03Z")
Totally gross. I worked in a restaurant some years back, and worked with two flamers. They were really great guys, and great, great workers. One of the girls came up to where I was and said that they had been kissing. Grossed me out. I almost barfed. I don’t use the word homophobe, tho, because it’s inaccurate and inflammatory. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/95 "2012-03-27T06:08:09Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > TI don’t use the word homophobe, tho, because it’s inaccurate and inflammatory. So the _word_ is inflammatory, but your _reaction_ isn’t, huh? Interesting… I grew up in the quite homophobic 70s and was properly indoctrinated from pre-puberty that anything male homosexual was ultra-gross, while female homosexuality never was mentioned. I’m happy to say that I’ve overcome most of those prejudices. But it’s not easy to completely break one’s childhood indoctrination. ---
**Author:** ![ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/96 "2012-03-27T07:42:36Z")
Nope, it doesn’t bother me at all. On the other hand, seeing two women kiss doesn’t stir me either. I’ve seen both too many times to really care anymore. I’m usually looking at the people nearby to see if they’re getting riled up. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/97 "2012-03-27T12:41:03Z")
I’ve never seen a purple tennis ball, so if I did I’m sure I’d be kind of disgusted. It’s my innate reaction to things I’m unfamiliar with. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/98 "2012-03-27T13:31:56Z")
It’s funny, last weekend I was out at a popular mini-golf/arcade place here in Fort Worth, and I saw a couple of young guys (13-14?) holding hands and walking around with one guy’s arm around the shoulder of the other guy, and it was obvious that they were on a date. I was much more surprised that there were such young teenagers that are comfortable enough to be “out” together, than I was at the PDA. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/99 "2012-03-27T14:53:25Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > So the _word_ is inflammatory, but your _reaction_ isn’t, huh? Interesting… Glad you find it interesting, because the word \*is \*inflammatory, and my reaction _isn’t_. Just because you don’t like my reaction doesn’t mean it is inflammatory. Doesn’t anybody use a dictionary anymore??? ---
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787/100 "2012-03-27T15:04:27Z")
I was in Vegas at the cirque du soleil show dealing with sexuality. All kinds of sexuality. There is an episode where two guys are tussling in a cage. At the end they embrace and kiss. At least half the audience audiblely gasped. I was very surprised. In Vegas watching late show celebrating all kinds of sexual activity and that’s what makes you react. Really? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-feel-an-ick-factor-if-you-see-a-gay-couple-kiss/616787.md?page=6)