# Guys, do you introduce the girls you're dating to one another? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2006, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543 "2006-08-21T03:10:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/101 "2006-08-22T10:24:11Z")
I’m really curious as to what you’re expecting from us here, **starfishfillet**. You’ve posted the facts, as you perceive them; we’ve posted our honest interpretations of them (most of which appear to be more or less in agreement with each other), but this doesn’t seem to be enough, or doesn’t seem to be satisfying you. So what were you expecting? What did you want us to say? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/102 "2006-08-22T10:32:34Z")
> [@starfishfillet](#): > > If I had had a job this whole time, I might not have even felt vulnerable enough to put myself in this situation in the first place. Dealing with the job thing first and then with the man seems the best order to dig myself out of this hole. It’s not about “goodies”. I do not date men for “goodies”. You don’t date men for goodies. But because you need goodies right now–even though you would stop dating him otherwise–you’re going to date the man for goodies? I’m failing to understand the logic here. > [@](#): > > I genuinely like this man and it will be hard enough to break up as it is. Ain’t no one said you don’t like him nor that it isn’t going to suck dumping him. All we’re saying is that you’re just setting yourself up for worse by sticking to it. Talk to the woman stalking you. Find out how nice and lovable he really is. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/103 "2006-08-22T12:48:21Z")
This woman doesn’t have enough passion in her posts for what she is supposedly going through. Just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/104 "2006-08-22T13:14:10Z")
> [@starfishfillet](#): > > I’m not kidding about that stalker thing. I assumed it was someone random but, if he’s lying to me, it’s possible it’s some sadistic game of his? Who knows?? How could it possibly be someone random? Do you think some poor girl just pulled your name and number and email address out of thin air and said, “Oh, I think I’ll warn **starfishfillet** about dating a guy named, oh, let’s pick a name at random, “Disco Stu” for shits and giggles” and what an amazing coincidence, you _are_ dating a guy named Disco Stu! Is this what you mean by random? Or do you think it’s someone who is a friend of yours and knows what this guy is up to, and just wants to warn you without getting you mad? O, the third option, maybe this is Girl #3, the one he did this to when he started dating the girl you met in the restaurant…maybe someone who said, “I deserve better than to be treated like this” and dumped his wealthy, handsome ass in order to have a real relationship, and now she sees you being led down the same path he tried with her? I was married to one of those plausible, have your cake and eat it too guys. After the divorce, I spent years worrying about whether he had exposed me to disease, or fathered other children, and wishing someone had warned me about what he was up to. If someone had called and told me anything I could have used as information to dispute his lies, I would have jumped on the chance to have proof. Then I rememebered a phone call or two that he intercepted, that may have been one of those girls trying to give me the proof I needed to make an informed decision. You’ve been handed the information you need. Make use of it. Use him for a few more weeks for food and contacts if you must, but I’m sure somewhere in his past is an ex-wife you can talk to to get the real story about his character. If not, the next time the stalker calls, talk to her. Information is power. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/105 "2006-08-22T13:30:03Z")
> [@starfishfillet](#): > > I genuinely like this man and it will be hard enough to break up as it is. Seriously? You \*like \* this guy who treats you like a moron? This guy who habitually lies to you, and when he’s called on it, uses your insecurities to manipulate you into \*accepting \* being treated like crap? Seriously? This isn’t complicated. You’ve convinced yourself that it’s complicated, because if you boil it down to “This guy treats me like crap, and I let him.”, well… there’s nothing romantic or dramatic or intriguing about _that_, is there? Dump his ass. Self respect is its own reward. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/106 "2006-08-22T14:14:44Z")
She doesn’t want real advice. She just wants somebody to tell her that it’s ok to keep sleeping with this guy for grocery money and job contacts. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/107 "2006-08-22T14:53:52Z")
I wouldn’t even go that far. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/108 "2006-08-22T15:01:20Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > She doesn’t want real advice. She just wants somebody to tell her that it’s ok to keep sleeping with this guy for grocery money and job contacts. Wasn’t that more or less what **Giraffe** suggested, at least in spirit. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/109 "2006-08-22T15:04:26Z")
I can’t help wondering if there is a wife (perhaps estranged) somewhere in the mix. That the guy’s own family members have in some way entered the picture makes it slightly less likely, but I can’t escape the suspicion that this is the behaviour of a cheating husband. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/110 "2006-08-22T15:05:46Z")
> [@](#): > > If I had had a job this whole time, I might not have even felt vulnerable enough to put myself in this situation in the first place. So your solution is to continue being vulnerable? Out of all your posts in this thread, I find the sentence I quoted the most telling. I think you’re rationalizing, and I think you know it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/111 "2006-08-22T15:19:33Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I wouldn’t even go that far. > > :dubious: She’s pretty much said so herself. She admits the guy is an unfaithful manipulator, a liar, a hypocrite, and indifferent to her feelings. BUT She’s been unemployed for months (I wonder why she lost her last job) and he can get her job interviews in the “industry she wants to work in.” She says this guy is her “only solid possibility of a job” which makes me :dubious: as hell. She lives in Chicago and she can’t get any job at all without Mr. Wonderful? she can’t wait tables? She can’t make mochas at Starbucks? She can’t make copies at a Kinkos? She can’t do whatever the hell she last got fired from? I’m pretty sure she could get some kind of job if she wanted to. It’s not a question of ability to find employment, it’s all about using a guy to climb into a job she feels she’s have no shot at on her own. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/112 "2006-08-22T15:43:25Z")
Well, if he’s using her to get young ass, and she’s using him for food and job contacts, maybe they deserve each other. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/113 "2006-08-22T15:49:46Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I wouldn’t even go that far. > > :dubious: I know just what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/114 "2006-08-22T15:49:47Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Well, if he’s using her to get young ass, and she’s using him for food and job contacts, maybe they deserve each other. > > Just sayin’. That’s what I said a couple of posts ago. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/115 "2006-08-22T16:05:18Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > She’s pretty much said so herself. I wouldn’t go that far either. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/116 "2006-08-22T16:08:12Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > I wouldn’t go that far either. Would you like me to paste the quotes? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/117 "2006-08-22T16:14:07Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Would you like me to paste the quotes? I don’t think that’s what he means. Check your email. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/118 "2006-08-22T16:16:16Z")
Unemployed for five months, huh? Let me guess–this guy is also helping to financially support you right now. He is not your only solid chance to find a job. Sending out resumes is also a solid chance for finding a job. That is what normal people in the real world do, and it’s how 100% of my friends and family found their jobs. I believe you are deluding yourself because you want to believe, deep down this lousy situation can somehow end up with you getting 100% of everything you want–namely, the sugar daddy all to yourself, and a cushy job that falls into your lap courtesy of him. It’s not going to happen, but you don’t want to hear that. BTW, from one Ivy grad to another–the fact that your degree came from an Ivy does not “overqualify” you for any job for which said degree is a prerequisite. It may make you better qualified, but not always. You might want to readjust your attitude about that because your unfounded sense of superiority may be coming across to potential employers. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/119 "2006-08-22T16:18:17Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > I don’t think that’s what he means. Check your email. Ok. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/120 "2006-08-22T16:20:29Z")
Just out of purely morbid curiosity: What, precisely, do you think he tells his other girlfriend (and she is, by the way, his other girlfriend) about _you_? You let him get away with treating you like crap on a regular basis. You’ve (you say) told him what he does is making you unhappy and hurting you and yet he keeps right on doing it - and you let him. You’re different from his other girlfriend how again? He’s a lying manipulative loser with distinct jackass tendencies - and no amount of pleasantries to the waitstaff and/or functional literacy makes up for it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543.md?page=7)