# Guys, do you introduce the girls you're dating to one another? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2006, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543 "2006-08-21T03:10:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/141 "2006-08-22T22:27:14Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Her situation has made her vulnerable to him. And? I can feel vulnerable to a lot of things, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t expect people to call me on it when I specifically stop forgoing my own morality. If a man kidnapped my son and I robbed a bank so that he would give my son back, yes, I’m doing that because I’m vulnerable. But to say at the same time, “I wouldn’t rob a bank if I wasn’t so vulnerable. But I don’t rob banks to save my son!” is just a big WTF. I had just said I robbed the bank to save my son. Yes, I have an excuse for doing it, but what exactly am I trying to gain by denying my reason for doing that? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/142 "2006-08-22T22:38:45Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > This is not the same as saying, “I’m just screwing him to get a job.” This is: > [@starfishfillet](#): > > Well, the hard part is that I’ve got a lot tied up in him right now- the heaviest of which, at the moment, is that I’ve been looking for work for an arduous few months and he has a lot of connections in the industry I want to get into, so he’s been helping me meet people and get interviews, etc, one hopeful one being later this week. So I’m loathe, to say the least, to cut myself off from him and sink my professional possibilities. > > I keep thinking that a couple more weeks of him won’t be that bad, if it does land me a job, but then again… the more I get into the rut, the more selective memory is going to kick in and let the inertia of staying around take over. > > Meanwhile, I’m not sure what I want to tell the other girl. If I tell her I’m planning to break it off, and she tells him, **then my whole reason for staying** will be ruined. But I can’t very well be (genuinely) indignant while talking to her and then still be dating him seriously, that would be schitzophrenic. Look at the art I bolded. She’s admitting that her “whole reason for staying” is to try to land a job. > [@](#): > > It seems clear to me that **starfishfillet** really has feelings for this guy I haven’t seen that. The only feelings she’s expressed about the guy have all been negative. Her few feeble attempts to give him any positive spin are pretty shallow and unemotional. He’s wealthy. He’s courteous to waitresses (I bet he is). He’s a college graduate). That’s about it. I don’t see her talking about emotional connections or kindness…just what she can get out of him financially. > [@](#): > > Have some compassion… I did at first. Not so much anymore. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/143 "2006-08-22T22:51:30Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Hey, it took me 4 years to get the job in my field that I wanted, sans sugar daddy. I wasn’t unemployed that whole time, but I did hate my job and was miserable, with no end in sight. When one is unemployed, or unhappily employed, for a while, despair does set in. This guy, bastard that he otherwise is, is offering her a way out. I’m sure it seems very enticing. > > She didn’t say she got fired. She said she lost her job. If she’s on unemployment, then she really CAN’T take a job at Starbuck’s or Kinko’s without a severe plummet in her income. Ever been on unemployment? Do you know how it works? You look for jobs in your field, and you wait until you find one. You don’t know what s **tarfishfillet** ’s situation is, but you are very free with your judgements. I know that MA’s unemployment laws are like New Jersey’s whom I’m employed by and you can still collect unemployment while working. It’s called partial unemployment and is available if you are only able to find part time work. \ Yep According to the [Massachussetts General Law Chapter 151a, Section 29](http://www.mass.gov/legis/laws/mgl/151a-29.htm) she can work and collect unemployment > [@M.G.L.-Chapter 151a](#): > > (b) An individual in partial unemployment and otherwise eligible for benefits shall be paid the difference between his aggregate remuneration with respect to each week of partial unemployment and the weekly benefit rate to which he would have been entitled if totally unemployed; provided, however, that earnings up to one-third of his weekly benefit rate shall be disregarded. In no case shall the amount of earnings so disregarded plus the weekly benefit rate equal or exceed the individual’s average weekly wage. Such partial benefit amount shall be rounded to the next lower full dollar amount if it includes a fractional part of a dollar. ---
**Author:** ![MannyL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MannyL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MannyL)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/144 "2006-08-22T22:55:34Z")
I hate to reply to myself but failed to get to the part where the OP stated forcefully that she is in NY. In that case I need to refer you to [New York’s Unemployment Definitions](([http://www.labor.state.ny.us/ui/bpta/Glossary.shtm](http://www.labor.state.ny.us/ui/bpta/Glossary.shtm)) Stating : Partial benefits If a claimant works less than four days in a week and earns $405 or less, the claimant may receive partial benefits. Receiving partial benefits extends the length of time benefits can be collected until the claimant receives his/her maximum benefit amount or until the benefit year ends. The rest of my post stands ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/145 "2006-08-23T02:06:10Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I’m really curious as to what you’re expecting from us here, **starfishfillet**. You’ve posted the facts, as you perceive them; we’ve posted our honest interpretations of them (most of which appear to be more or less in agreement with each other), but this doesn’t seem to be enough, or doesn’t seem to be satisfying you. So what were you expecting? What did you want us to say? But this is how every single one of this type of thread goes: Poster (invariably female) writes a post describing her boyfriend who’s always handsome, witty, intelligent and still attached to an “ex-girlfriend” with whom he’s still “just friends” and who occasionally spends the night at his place but he says “nothing happens” and the poster believes him, but, still, she wonders. The ex is invariably (a) unstable, (b) jobless, (c) friendless, except for the guy, (d) all of the above. A bunch of posters tell her to dump him, she starts defending him, offers up more info that she thinks shows him as a good guy, when all it does is show him to be a manipulative jerk. Posters continue to tell her to dump him, she continues defending him and gets pissy at all the posters offering their opinions. These threads usually end badly. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/146 "2006-08-23T02:11:23Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > But this is how every single one of this type of thread goes: Poster (invariably female)… There’s been at least [one guy.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=335529) Otherwise, what you said. > [@](#): > > These threads usually end badly. Ain’t it the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543/147 "2006-08-23T02:14:33Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > These threads usually end badly. Yeah, you right. As a poster, I’ve been waiting with bated breath for the next mutation of this story, but, screw it, we’ve all seen better. Thread closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-introduce-the-girls-youre-dating-to-one-another/369543.md?page=7)