# Guys, do you think about sex like this ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728 "2003-10-21T16:41:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bojon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@bojon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bojon)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/21 "2003-10-21T23:23:33Z")
Nope!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/22 "2003-10-22T00:07:01Z")
No, I don’t think like that, but I’m not exactly normal anyway. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/23 "2003-10-22T00:11:01Z")
The mere desire to fuck without a condom isn’t stupid. Treating it as if it’s an actual option, or attempting to do so, is. I’ve only had two or three guys attempt to fuck or get fucked by me without a condom, and I’m already tired of it. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/24 "2003-10-22T02:22:01Z")
Guy here. Jeesh there seems to be alot of pretentious people in this thread. I’d like to know why does it make one immature if they get a self-esteem boost from get’n laid? Myself I’m 33 and I always feel better after a good lay. Condoms suck I don’t use them and haven’t contracted the aids virus yet. (yea! for heterosexualism) And no guy wants to pull out to unload his goo; I can’t explain it, it’s just a guy thing I guess. Yes these guys are normal. And the guys in this thread who are saying its NOT normal are either trying to score brownie points with their fellow dopers on this board or they don’t have a clue one. We’re guys for crying out load its in our nature to want to dominate. And just because we have that desire doesn’t make us neanderthals. It just a small part of who we are, thats all. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/25 "2003-10-22T02:31:09Z")
**SHAKES** , you can still get all kinds of diseases, including AIDS, from heterosexual sex without a condom. There are lots of other things wrong with your post too, but I’ll let somebody else make fun of you about them, I’m tired. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/26 "2003-10-22T02:56:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > **Jeesh there seems to be alot of pretentious people in this thread.** Same answer as above. Nope. > [@](#): > > \*\*I’d like to know why does it make one immature if they get a self-esteem boost from get’n laid? Myself I’m 33 and I always feel better after a good lay. > \*\* That’s not the issue, nor did we say that we didn’t. > [@](#): > > **And the guys in this thread who are saying its NOT normal are either trying to score brownie points with their fellow dopers on this board or they don’t have a clue one.** I have no interest in scoring brownie points with people I don’t know. I simply don’t think that way. And yes, I do have a clue or two. > [@](#): > > \*\*We’re guys for crying out load its in our nature to want to dominate. And just because we have that desire doesn’t make us neanderthals. It just a small part of who we are, thats all. \*\* Gee, I’ve never had this overwhelming desire to “dominate” my sex partner (or be dominated for that matter). It’s always an equal thing that I enjoy a great deal. Frankly, if it’s all about domination for you, then your sex partners have my deepest sympathies. :wally ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/27 "2003-10-22T03:11:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*The mere desire to fuck without a condom isn’t stupid. Treating it as if it’s an actual option, or attempting to do so, is. > \*\* Of course screwing without a condom is an option: It’s a riskier option, though, than using one. People have different risks that they’re making judgments on. For me, the primary risk to avoid is unintended impregnation of my partner. So there are a number of options in that case which don’t need to be delineated. Your mileage may have varied. As to the OP I agree with both points, but I could never imagine myself putting it quite in those words. I used to have a girlfriend to whom I’d whisper in public, “I wanna stick it in ya.” Now there is a sense of power in doing that. I’ve always found good sex to have a heady blend of power, submission, fun and giving up of inhibitions and control. And it’s never too early to start foreplay… As for the “leave part of himself in her” I sort of see that. Of course, I want to smell like her afterward, too. Mmmmm. Post-shower morning sex. It’s a little hard getting anything done at work but what the hell. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/28 "2003-10-22T03:23:44Z")
I feel good after sex, clearly; all the happy centers of my brain and all my nerve endings are _buzzbuzzbuzzing_. So, **SHAKES** , I doubt anyone would argue thou at folks “feel better after a good lay.” However, on a message board dedicated to fighting ignorance, I’m awed that you would advocate sex without condoms…all because your in your 30s and “haven’t contracted the AIDS virus yet”…and then would go on to suggest this is because you’re hetero. Condoms, heck, no form of birth control or STD preventive I’ve come across, is perfect (either in protection or in use); I’m peachy keen with folks admitting that. But that’s no excuse for exposing yourself and your partner(s) to harmful, even life-threatening, diseases. (Sorry that this is “off topic,” but I’d feel awful to just leave that post sitting there _sans_ response.) ETA: As someone who enjoys being dominated, it doesn’t have to be as bad as all that, **Chimera**! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/29 "2003-10-22T03:29:28Z")
> [@](#): > > SHAKES, you can still get all kinds of diseases, including AIDS, from heterosexual sex without a condom. There are lots of other things wrong with your post too, but I’ll let somebody else make fun of you about them, I’m tired. Looks like I get to be the one! EDIT - Damn hamsters! I should have been first! Ah well, I already typed all this. > [@](#): > > All following quotes from **SHAKES** I’d like to know why does it make one immature if they get a self-esteem boost from get’n laid? Myself I’m 33 and I always feel better after a good lay. Self esteem boost after getting laid? Sure. Self esteem boost "because I could stick it in her "? Sure, if you are 13 years old. > [@](#): > > Condoms suck I don’t use them and haven’t contracted the aids virus yet. (yea! for heterosexualism) I think few people will argue that sex is better with a condom. And if you had said “Yea! for mating for life and monogamy!” you could get away with it. But if you just say “Yea! for heterosexualism!” you could also get away with genital warts or syphilus. > [@](#): > > And no guy wants to pull out to unload his goo; I can’t explain it, it’s just a guy thing I guess. Not want to interrupt the motion at the moment of orgasm? Sure, normal. Being proud because you left your semen in her? Some kind of peurile fetish. > [@](#): > > We’re guys for crying out load its in our nature to want to dominate. And just because we have that desire doesn’t make us neanderthals. It just a small part of who we are, thats all. Let’s assume that you are correct that it’s in our nature to want to dominate. So if it is in our nature, it is part of our instinctual behavior. But wouldn’t ignoring our modern intellect and learned social behavior in preference to our instinctual behavior mean that you WERE acting like a neandertal? Well OK, maybe you are right. Perhaps it makes you an Australopithecene. Oh boy! I hope I earned a lot of brownie points!:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/30 "2003-10-22T05:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > …Yes these guys are normal. And the guys in this thread who are saying its NOT normal are either trying to score brownie points with their fellow dopers on this board or they don’t have a clue one… - - - I would agree with this, it is _instinctive_ for a guy to want to “stick it in and unload”. It’s instinctive for _males_ to want to stick it in and unload. Men throughout the ages have gone to great lengths just to try to find pretty women to “stick it in and unload” in; welcome to reality. If you’re a guy and you don’t feel this way, maybe a trip to the doctor is in order. Granted that surprise pregnancy is always a risk, but if neither of a steady couple has an STD, then STD’s are no longer a reason. > [@](#): > > …Not want to interrupt the motion at the moment of orgasm? Sure, normal. Being proud because you left your semen in her? Some kind of peurile fetish… - **BoringDad** - Ummmmmmm… how can you be certain that these two things you describe are not one and the same?.. ~ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/31 "2003-10-22T05:48:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course screwing without a condom is an option: It’s a riskier option, though, than using one. Well, maybe it’s different for those of us who lost the preceding generation of our community to just that sort of behaviour. I see our mileage _does_ vary. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/32 "2003-10-22T06:14:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chimera \* > \*\* > Gee, I’ve never had this overwhelming desire to “dominate” my sex partner (or be dominated for that matter). It’s always an equal thing that I enjoy a great deal. > > Frankly, if it’s all about domination for you, then your sex partners have my deepest sympathies. :wally \*\* Ahem. For The Love of My Life ™ sex is certainly about domination. He’s a Dom after all :). And I assure you _I_ don’t need you sympathy. I can’t see how his having those feelings makes him a bad person, or how it would for a guy in a more vanila relationships. It certainly doesn’t make him any less of a kind, caring, highly evolved person, or from treating me as an equal in every other respect. So :wally right back at you.And you too Boring, don’t you dare call The Most Wonderful Man in the World (pat. pending) an Australopithecene :). (Um, I’m not dating SHAKES, I’m just extrapolating :)) ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/33 "2003-10-22T06:28:11Z")
Actually, I \*\* do \*\* think like some of the guys mentioned in the OP. The whole power thing makes sex even better. And yes, I know I am a total psycho. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/34 "2003-10-22T06:39:30Z")
Umm, sex without a condom is certainly a reasonable thing to do - if you are monogamous, married 25 years, and either too old for children or have used other means. (Which are safer for birth control anyhow.) It’s certainly simpler and cleaner - but not worth the risk if you aren’t in a safe category. Oh, and I’ve never had any of those idiotic thoughts either. ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/35 "2003-10-22T07:28:19Z")
I had to read the OP again. This conversation has gone through several interpretations. I’m especially surprised that the “guys” characterized in the OP have been chastised for feeling powerful. This seems to stem from the quoted phrase “stick it in her”. This might be somewhat crude, but is dirty talking ALWAYS inappropriate? We are talking about sex, after all, and however you want to characterize it, it requires a certain apendage penetrating one of the participants somewhere. And why does the feeling “powerful” require that someone else feel less powerful? I’m not sure that the OP made it clear that the “guys” were demeaning woman individually or as a group. Personally, I can empathize with some of the thoughts expressed in the OP (assuming that I read them correctly, I’m still not sure). I have felt powerful by having intercourse. But of course I have felt vulnerable as well. I have to agree with Voyage on the condom issue. Let me just leave you with this thought. “Sex without fear and pain is like food without taste” The Marquis de Sade ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/36 "2003-10-22T08:47:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Voyager \* > \*\*Umm, sex without a condom is certainly a reasonable thing to do - if you are monogamous, married 25 years, and either too old for children or have used other means. (Which are safer for birth control anyhow.) It’s certainly simpler and cleaner - but not worth the risk if you aren’t in a safe category. > > Oh, and I’ve never had any of those idiotic thoughts either. \*\* Do you mean that you have to be monogomous _and_ married 25 years _and_ to old for children? This is how I percieved what you wrote if i’m wrong I apologise. But if that is what you meant, you are telling me that it is only acceptable to _not_ use a condom under these circumstances? My girlfriend and I have been using the pill only as contraception for two years now, we are monogomous etc. and have found this to be suitable contraception. In fact most people I know who are in long term monogomous relationships use this method. On the subject of ‘leaving your semen behind’ my current girlfriend (and indeed my previous long term girlfriend) gets very turned on by me coming inside her, and I wouldn’t go as far to call my girlfriend ‘puerile’. I think the what people like to do in the bedroom is up to them, I like to dominate and be dominated for example, maybe you just weren’t suited dragongirl? I think that almost all men have much, much more obscene thoughts than they usually let on and I don’t expect people to start 'fessing up to their innermost thoughts now, but I wouldn’t go as far as to call these guys ‘neanderthals’. Maybe his comments were a touch crude but i’m sure there are a lot of guys who feel the same or similar but maybe would have stated it in a classier way… ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/37 "2003-10-22T09:42:03Z")
> [@](#): > > You date some weird guys. Nope. I used to date them. I’ve been married for almost 12 years now. I’m not wanting to trash anyone for the way that they feel. I am curious about how common those thoughts are. In those two relationships, I was not comfortable with them at all. But, if another person is, more power to them. ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/38 "2003-10-22T10:32:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dragongirl \* > \*\*. > > A different ex told me at one time, he wanted me to go on the pill. He didn’t want to use condoms, because he liked to leave a part of himself in me. > > \*\* If this is what he wanted to do he could have just put toenail clippings in your ear while you slept…no fuss, no muss!😉 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/39 "2003-10-22T10:43:51Z")
First off I’d like to say to **Chimera** and others like him if you don’t have the disire or feel the need to dominate your woman than hey, thats great, I’m not knoking ya’. I mean I think its great that you’re more in touch with your feminine side than most guys. All I’m saying is that if a guy does like to dominate than that doesn’t really mean he’s a neanderthal. I think **betenoir** pretty much sumed it up better than I could. Also I would like to add that I am fully aware that heteros can contract aids and what ever else is out there. All I meant by my previous post is my demograph is the least likely to contract the aids virus, I know. As for all the other STDs I’m not sure. But hey, life’s full of risks. Trite but true. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/40 "2003-10-22T11:58:33Z")
The guys in the OP seem common/normal enough to me, which is what the question originally was. Why all the indignation? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728.md?page=3)