# Guys, do you think about sex like this ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728 "2003-10-21T16:41:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/41 "2003-10-22T11:58:33Z")
I thought lesbians were the demographic least likely to contract the AIDS virus. Anyway, I’m another guy who feels that what these guys said isn’t entirely wrong or detestible, but the way they put it was rather poor. Also, the context is somewhat important, no? I mean, if they were talking dirty, a phrase like “stick it in you” doesn’t seem so bad (I still don’t think I’d use such phrasing, but still…). What if it was after sex, they’re cuddling, and in a soft spoken kind of way he mentioned that “It makes me feel kinda powerful when I’m inside you.” Would that make the statement more acceptable? There’s nothing wrong with feeling some sense of power or boosted self esteme during sex. You may not be paying attention to it, but for all you guys saying “No,” you mean to tell me you don’t feel some sense of power when standing up with a girl on her knees before you? You can respect her, love her, and feel no urge to demean her in any way, but there is a sense of power there. I know it makes me feel like I’m king of the world! The same goes for me when going down on a girl, even if she’s the one on top. Just because I feel a sense of power from such an act doesn’t mean in any way I’m not loving her or treating her with the utmost respect. It’s possible to feel powerful without having to degrade your partner, and I think anyone who questions that needs to go back and reread **betenoir’s** post again. Just because one person feels “powerful” doesn’t mean that their partner can’t feel just the same way, or has to feel subjugated or degraded at all. The second comment, though…I do admit I haven’t felt that way. I like my orgasms to go uninterrupted, but I don’t have this feeling like “leaving a piece of me behind”. That actually seems kinda creepy put that way. I can see the desire though, so again, maybe it’s the way it’s worded that’s creeping people out. And for those who say condoms are unromantic, there are some pretty inviting ways they can be put on. Partner participation in everything is a fun way to go about one’s business in the bedroom. Sure, it’s not the most romantic part of the event, but I think that can be topped by the farting and other goofs that occur, so it’s not the worst either. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/42 "2003-10-22T12:14:52Z")
Sex is always a bit about power… when a woman denies sex its about “power”. When you indulge in bondage its a bit about power. Certainly men view the getting “sticked into” role of the woman as somehow subservient to a point. Even if they don’t say it or don’t much think of it. I had a GF force me into sex cause she wanted it so badly… she had the power at that moment. ``` As for this being enough reason for sex ? Nope... sex is good for many other things. Not using a condom is great too... again for more than just "power" feeling. Thou my opinion of condoms is very low.... ``` ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/43 "2003-10-22T12:59:57Z")
The OP’s talking about ‘sex’ right ? Then I don’t understand the prim attitude, either. Sex isn’t some excuse-me afternoon tea party, it’s lustful primates getting it on. Also, males and females have very different emotional and other agenda’s, but women ain’t no more ‘noble’ or ‘pure’ in their ‘motivations’ than are men. They’ve got a whole different thing going on . . . Thus the above ‘I’m-very-sensible-and-mature’ posters, can, very politely, shove their coyness and their transient, magazine culture definition of correct thinking up their inexperienced or conditioned, ‘polite-society’, socially-cleansed up their exhaust pipes. So **dragongirl** , if your boyfriends sometimes thought (you think about a whole lot of things on every occasion) in those terms, then fine; seems pretty consistent with their 5 million year heritage to me. Nature of the beast, and all that . . . Have fun guys, and don’t be guilt tripped over some screwed up post-Victorian political crap. In my ‘umble opinion, of course ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/44 "2003-10-22T13:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > So dragongirl, (you think about a whole lot of things on every occasion) Unfortunatly, yes I do. ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/45 "2003-10-22T14:00:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _SHAKES_ > Also I would like to add that I am fully aware that heteros can contract aids and what ever else is out there. All I meant by my previous post is my demograph is the least likely to contract the aids virus, I know. As for all the other STDs I’m not sure. First of all, you’re not a lesbian. Second, while feeling powerful during sex may not be puerile and infantile, using a devastating terminal illness as the subject of juvenile teasing is. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/46 "2003-10-22T15:04:54Z")
Are we talking about sex or fucking?? I don’t think the “stick it in you” would be very romantic cuddle talk (sex), but if you were fucking it would seem almost laughable in it’s innocence. I just read a thread about Juliette Lewis where the general consensus was that yanking her pants down and bending her over the trunk of a car sounded like the proper course of action. Now that is fucking. I don’t think yanking her pants down and bending her over the trunk of a car would be conducive to snuggling, cuddling sex. Now if I told a girl I wanted to yank her pants down, bend her over the trunk of a car and fuck her legs off, would that be romantic?? It’s up to the girl, I know of at least a couple who would think it would be a great idea and it would turn them on. In fact it did. I also know a few that would slap me silly. As for the shooting his load in the girl, sure, sex without a condom is risky…no debate. As for the sexiness of the remark, I would find it a lot less base than saying he wanted to shoot it in her face or somewhere else. My experience has been that what is said during sex will sometimes not pass for polite conversation when no sex is involved. What is said during fucking could make a sailor blush. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/47 "2003-10-22T16:57:55Z")
As for the rough stuff, I think that would be pretty inappropriate with someone you just met (unless, of course, they had made it clear that they were into that, and/or you had met on that basis ;)) I usually wait to bring that up until a couple of dates down the road. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/48 "2003-10-22T17:03:12Z")
Your husband thinks just like that, too. He is just smarter than your ex-boyfriends and doesn’t let it slip. Doubt me? Bug his golf bag. 😉 * * * She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy! ---
**Author:** ![RogueRacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@RogueRacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RogueRacer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/49 "2003-10-22T17:37:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dragongirl \* > \*\*In a conversation I had with one, he said sex made him feel powerful because, “he could stick it in me.” It somehow boosted his self-esteem. \*\* My perspective is that of a straight mid-30’s male. Having sex definitely can improve your self-esteem. Sex is about give and take, control, submission, vulnerability, and a whole lot more for both sexes. I rather enjoy exploring these different aspects, both with me in control or my partner. > [@](#): > > **A different ex told me at one time, he wanted me to go on the pill. He didn’t want to use condoms, because he liked to leave a part of himself in me.** Much of this has been covered. I think most would agree that if you don’t know your partner’s history (with tests to back it up) and have complete trust in them, using a condom is a very good idea. That said, in regards to this statement, I prefer a good money shot myself. Some of my male friends agree and my girlfriend seems to like to see the results of her efforts too. Besides, a good money shot up the nose gives you something to laugh about for months! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/50 "2003-10-22T17:48:52Z")
Sometimes, sex is part of romance. The “stick it in ya” comment would seem inappropriate in that context. Sometimes, sex is just satisfying a desire to get off. Using a phrase like that in horny, lusty sex play, I consider it pretty normal. Substitute whatever phrase you would think of using and it doesn’t seem wierd at all. Have you never succombed to the almost animalistic urge to fuck a willing partner just for the act of fucking? It can be fun for both involved. Now, if we’re talking about sex as a weapon or tool to purposefully demean an unwilling (or not as willing) partner, than we’re getting close to what some may consider rape. As to the actual content of the OP: Guy #1 seems to have self esteem issues. What was the rest of the relationship like? Remember, he wasn’t saying this _during_ lusty sex play. He was saying this in a conversation about sex (if I read the OP right). Guy # 2’s thoughts seem a little off. Not wanting to use a condom (in a committed relationship) isn’t odd at all. But for the primary reason of wanting to leave momentos is a foriegn thought to me. I tend to like sex for two reasons: 1: IT’s SEX! 2: It is a natural part of a healthy, committed, romantic relationship. Even men want love and romance\*. Sometimes, though, it’s just about sex. \*ymmv ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/51 "2003-10-23T04:50:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WILLASS \* > \*\*Do you mean that you have to be monogomous _and_ married 25 years _and_ to old for children? This is how I percieved what you wrote if i’m wrong I apologise. But if that is what you meant, you are telling me that it is only acceptable to _not_ use a condom under these circumstances? My girlfriend and I have been using the pill only as contraception for two years now, we are monogomous etc. and have found this to be suitable contraception. In fact most people I know who are in long term monogomous relationships use this method. > \*\* Quite the opposite. It seemed to me a lot of posters in this thread were saying that not using a condom (more for STD prevention than birth control) was wrong no matter what. (Not in so many words, but that seemed the gist of it.) I’m with you, actually. I was already married before the advent of AIDS (I managed to get a taste of the sexual revolution) so I never had to be quite so paranoid (though perhaps justifiably so) about this. You seem quite sane. ---
**Author:** ![ReaverPryde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@ReaverPryde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReaverPryde)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/52 "2003-10-23T05:32:15Z")
Sweet Jesus in heaven… I’m only 20 years old and yet I seem to have a better grasp on sexual psychology than half the people here. I don’t get off on dominating my sexual partners. But to those of you who think there’s something wrong with getting turned on by something like this: What friggin’ planet are you from? I had a girlfriend once who got really turned on when I would hit her during sex (She wanted me to do it HARD too. It took me a while to get used to, being the gentle, kitten and puppy-loving soul that I am). Sure, I had problems going along with it, but I certainly didn’t tell her she was screwed up or that there was something wrong with her. You jerks who say there’s something wrong with the guy who likes to be dominant during sex need to be slapped upside the head. Regarding the condom thing; doesn’t it make sense that it would be a turn-on to ejaculate inside someone and leave something behind instead of pulling out or using a condom? I mean, it is, after all, the ONLY WAY THE HUMAN RACE CAN CONTINUE TO SURVIVE, isn’t it?? And I HATE condoms. I’d never sleep with someone I didn’t know very well without one, of course, but that doesn’t make me hate wearing them any less. So no, dragon, I don’t think your ex boyfriends are weird at all. It’s just another form of normal, run of the mill, human kink. Reaver ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/53 "2003-10-23T10:17:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > \*\*Condoms suck I don’t use them and haven’t contracted the aids virus yet. \*\* Yet being the operative word I’d imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728/54 "2003-10-23T10:20:50Z")
Reference the original question: Yes, to an extent. It’s not the be-all and end-all, but there is a sense of _power_ in penetration. I’ve also heard my wife say there’s a sense of _power_ in being penetrated. (I don’t intend to find out 😃 ) But for me at least, sex involves a lot more than just that. Hope this helps. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-do-you-think-about-sex-like-this/208728.md?page=2)